2023 Author: Katelyn Chandter | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 13:08
Don't you think that love is a fiction invented thousands of years ago? Is this a concept used to justify the restriction of our freedom?
What is love? Is there really such a high feeling, or is love still a fiction invented thousands of years ago? About the virus of love and that any fairy tale ends sooner or later, leaving a place for a cruel reality.
Don't you think that love doesn't really exist? Don't you think that love is a fiction invented thousands of years ago and nurtured by generations of people, including with the help of religions? Don't you think that love is a concept used to justify the restriction of our freedom?
Each of us has a brain "firmware" (mind), which, based on the knowledge gained and life experience, evaluates the incoming information. A new-love person in this "firmware" gets a kind of virus that distorts facts and events. For example, Sveta has always been categorically against any drugs, and then she suddenly fell in love with Petya, who smokes hashish. What does the virus do? He interprets this fact in such a way that Sveta does not see this as a problem. She doesn't think about it at all, or sometimes thoughts like: “In the end, it's just weed” or: “Petya has no dependence, because he does it very rarely” or: “When we finally get together, Petya will definitely quit this business forever. " The love virus is responsible for many details: “Petya does not help financially the past family, because his ex-wife did a mean thing to him,” “Petya does not give me gifts, because he reasonably plans a budget and saves money that will be useful to us in our happy the future”, etc. The virus also works with regard to appearance: an ordinary guy Petya seems to Sveta to be the embodiment of beauty.
Let's say Petya also got a virus: he sees in the Light the ideal companion of life, so the guys decided to start living together. For some time (usually up to a year) viruses continue to function, transmitting to the minds of their owners a distorted picture that they want to see, but this action is of course. Their strength weakens, often out of sync, and Petya and Sveta, with great surprise, begin to face facts that run counter to their ideas about an ideal partner.
According to statistics, approximately 50% of couples break up after such discoveries. The rest, for various reasons, are trying to save their families. Someone got a longer-lasting virus, and by blackmail and manipulation they cling to their partner, convincing them not to break off the relationship. Others are held back from breaking the notions of family duty imposed by parents, religion and reading literature. Someone else with low self-esteem is convinced that in the event of a divorce, no one can ever love him again. Someone is already expecting a child, someone is too dependent financially, and someone simply does not like changes.
Faced with the need to live together without filter viruses, people try to change themselves or their partner; the most conscious are trying to change the "firmware" - their attitude to the manifested shortcomings of the partner. Someone goes headlong into work or hobbies, for someone, gatherings with friends over a bottle of something become salvation.
It becomes even more fun to live with the appearance of the first child, which requires so much care and attention that the woman certainly does not have time to analyze the flaws of her partner, moreover, during this period she usually becomes completely financially dependent. It is very difficult for a man at this moment. Not only did he not so long ago open his eyes to the shortcomings of his wife, but now she has a completely new, most important priority in her life, and this priority is not him. It often happens that alliances break up at this stage, if not on paper, then in essence: a man falls in love with someone else, a new virus enters his brain. If the sense of duty outweighs, the family will survive.
It happens that the first child is followed by one more or even more. Family well-being is growing, and living conditions are improving. Each other's cockroaches are found and accepted or pushed into the backyard of consciousness. A habit connects, it becomes just too lazy to change something: “And who said that with another person I would be better? At least I know what to expect from this."
In the happiest families, by this time, both spouses continue to think that they love each other. This is facilitated by the fact that during their life together, a considerable baggage of each other's merits accumulates, which was unknown even at the stage of infection with the viruses of love. But is it possible to speak with confidence sublimely that these two love each other, and not just have respect for each other or a feeling of gratitude; do not live with each other for the sake of children, money, out of habit, or simply because they are afraid of change? Or maybe they wake up every morning with the thought “How lucky I am to have him / her” and all day running around with butterflies in their stomachs thinking about each other and thinking how else to please their soul mate? And, probably, even during quarrels (which happen, of course, very rarely and only for trivial reasons), even for a second, no one flickers in anyone's thoughts with the desire to drop everything and leave.
Sometimes, starting to think deeply about various concepts, you are simply amazed at how many false notions imposed around us that have nothing to do with objective reality. For example, you can formulate this: the concept of love was invented by people, because this is a very serious argument in favor of family relations. We say: "I love you," but in reality we mean: "I want to be with you." It would seem, why not say the second, why are these grandilocks? I think the point is that we have endowed the concept of “love” with the properties of fatality and permanence, and in the phrase “I want to be with you,” there is a sense of temporality. The next day, you can say: "And now I don't want to be with you," and in a day, I want to again. This is normal because we are emotional and susceptible to mood swings. Events also replace each other: yesterday we were presented with flowers, today we were unjustly run over, and a day later we caught the virus of falling in love with another person.
If someone tells you that he wants to be with you, but your desire is the opposite, you can say: “Sorry, but I don’t want to,” and that will be fine. Declaration of love imposes a completely different responsibility. I wonder how many families do not break up just because one of the spouses thinks: “He / she loves me so much, I cannot leave him / her”? In this case, the word "love" turns out to be an excellent tool for manipulation, which is used with might and main, albeit unconsciously.