Table of contents:
- About intrigue and what it is
- How to intrigue: seven tips
- A little about manipulation methods
- What to read about intrigue
2023 Author: Katelyn Chandter | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 13:08
Someone thinks that without intrigue it is impossible to get anywhere in the modern world. Someone considers himself their victim, and schemers - vile scoundrels. Someone google "how to weave intrigues", because once he himself was twisted in an intrigue, exposed guilty, he could not fight back, and now wants to be fully armed. I will offer you a slightly different idea of intrigue and tell you the main things you should think about if you want to learn how to weave them.
About intrigue and what it is
The very word "intrigue" has developed negative connotations … Well, that is, to put it simply, most people now perceive it negatively - they say, this is something bad.
In fact, the purpose of the intrigue is not necessarily something necessarily bad, such as "ruining someone else's career", "taking the man out of the family", "substituting a colleague." It may well be something good.
For example, the boss does not want to rudely and harshly dismiss a subordinate and therefore turns such an interesting move: first, he calls the subordinate to himself and says: dear, so and so, your indicators fall. What do you think, if you were in my place - what would you do with an employee like you?
The subordinate, of course, understands that he is being given the last chance, and offers a trial period, time to fix the jambs. The boss agrees. And then there are two options: either the subordinate, realizing that he was thrown a life jacket, corrects the situation, or does not correct the situation, but then they fire him like his own hands, forcing him to feel understanding towards the boss and not be offended by him.
So the subordinate did not remain offended, and the boss retains good relations and reputation with him: they say, not a tyrant, but a good, adequate person who understands, even kind, just cares for the company. Well, and to whom does it feel bad?
Or here's another example from the field of relationships. There, too, small manipulations often slip through, for example, often with compliments: "Darling, you cook so amazingly, just lick your fingers, I can never do that!" - and now the "dear" flutters in the kitchen all day to please her beloved and earn more approval. If not abused, then such small manipulations (and manipulations are part of intrigue) only improve relationships and make everyone good and wonderful.
Manipulations and intrigues can not even ruin someone's career, but very much even save: for example, you drop in a conversation with the main gossip of the team that the fact that the accounting department is not working well has reached the bosses, and he is thinking about layoffs in the staff.
The gossip, of course, brings this information to the accounting department, and there they understand that they are about to be pinned to the nail, and they start to work better, the bureaucratic processes in the company are accelerated, everyone gets their salaries on time and clearly according to contracts and are happy - and you are like it would have nothing to do with it, and in general you stand handsome in a white coat.
Thus, intrigue is simply getting the end result that you want to achieve with someone else's hands. And below you will learn how to weave intrigues, what techniques to use, and even what literature to read.
How to intrigue: seven tips
1. The first thing you need to do is define a specific goal. You will not be able to achieve what you want if you do not decide as concretely and precisely as possible what kind of “desired” it is. Plus, if you clearly formulate your request, thoughts of how to get it immediately pop into your head, because you transfer your brain from the “oh, if only” mode to the mode of clear and specific goal setting.
2. Next, you need to carefully study your team and find out the weaknesses of the people with whom you work. Watch them. Here's what you need to know:
- What is the hierarchy in the team? Who is the main cheerleader, the soul of the company, without whom it is boring and sad at work? Who is the main gossip? Who is the careerist? Who everyone hates? Who are the gray mice that no one has a special opinion about?
- What is the relationship in the team? Who is friends with whom and not friends, or maybe they are friends "against someone"? Is there a case in the collective of a mistress or beloved daughter of a boss? Who is holding a grudge against whom? Who works in related fields and therefore constantly competes?
This will help you understand how to influence people through their enemies and friends: for example, to drop in front of colleague A that their superiors are unhappy with them, so that he would report this to colleague B, his friend, and he began to put more effort. Or, if you want to tarnish someone's reputation, all you have to do is drop the necessary information in the presence of the main gossip of the team or the personal enemy of this person, and soon everyone will know about it.
Plus, it will help you understand with whom to be friends and with whom not, to make useful contacts.
Explore the weaknesses of those you work with
What motivates them to work besides money? For example, someone is influenced by praise, and someone, on the contrary, is compared in someone else's favor. What makes them angry, what is important to them?
For example, you understand that Marya Ivanovna from the personnel department at a corporate party will behave indecently and ruin the holiday, but you also know that she adores her grandchildren - drop in front of her, “oh, how uncomfortable it will be if photos from the corporate party get into the network, these young people are sitting in social networks all the time - just imagine, they will see their mothers and fathers in such an obscene form, hee-hee,”and now Marya Ivanovna has been drinking exclusively pineapple juice all evening.
3. It will be better if you are as friendly, good-natured and open as possible. Firstly, such people are usually not suspected: he is so kind, so attentive, how can he do something bad? Secondly, they are more willing to open up to such people.
The ideal image for an intriguer is one in which no one will suspect an intriguer, the intriguer about whom everyone says that he is an intriguer is bad, and asks to teach him how to weave intrigues.
Separately, I recommend training the skill of active listening. All you need to do is listen, nod, smile, look carefully at the interlocutor, make it clear with facial expressions and remarks that you are here with him, you listen attentively and empathize very much. That's it, he's on the hook, he swam and is already pouring out his soul to you. People love to feel special, valuable, important, significant. Organize such a feeling for them - and sculpt whatever you want out of them.
4. Use gossips. These are the most useful people in the team, because, as mentioned above, the essence of the intrigue is to pick the deal with someone else's hands. The gossip is ideal as a tool here: drop the information that you want to convey to a person or a team with him - and they will certainly find out about it, but you will have nothing to do with it, because the gossip clearly does not want to share glory.
5. Gossip can not only be spread, but also listened to. Of course, this is mostly garbage, but pearls flicker in it. For example, that such and such is the mistress of such and such (they can then be blackmailed, because no one wants their working romance to be revealed, especially if both participants in the novel are also married).
Or you can grab a lucrative piece of work from a colleague: for example, he let slip that he is going to board a new region that has not yet been covered by your company, and the next day you take over this work. And reward you. Because you need not to chat about your plans in the smoking room, but to do.
6. Use the internet. For example, you are annoyed by a coworker - say you are in competition, or he is flirting with your wife. In revenge, you can report his behavior to his life partner.
Or another example, much more sophisticated, but also labor-intensive: let's say, you are very annoyed by some colleague, and you want to ruin her life, to survive her from work. In this case, you can create a fake account of an attractive man and start courting her so that she begins to be distracted from work, make mistakes, and she will be fired for this. And then you would have dumped her too. Muhahaha.
There are also various Internet meanness, for example, to place a colleague's phone in a group where girls of easy virtue advertise their services (it is better to post with a fake). But keep in mind that this is a rather mean and cruel act, so think three times whether your dislike or desire for new career heights is worth such a stain on your conscience. Yes, this is morality in the intrigue article. Since weaving intrigues is not necessary to do mean things, to substitute and denigrate your reputation.
7. Who should you be friends with, or at least not conflict with:
- With the main gossip of the team. Why - I have already said above: he can be a useful tool, and it is better if he does not have a grudge against you. It is very unpleasant to become the object of gossip.
- With the boss.
Remember this: the boss is your friend. Often to a much greater extent than your colleagues. Why? Because you and your boss have nothing to share. Because the boss is most interested in the team being healthy, without squabbling and quarrels (if the boss is adequate).
And because the boss, in fact, is very easy to please (again, there are exceptions): just let him know that you are happy about the great cause of your company - and that's it, then you can pour it into his ears, whatever you see fit.
With mistresses and relatives of the chief. Yes, unfortunately, nepotism here (and everywhere, what is already there) blooms and smells, yes, it is sad and often unfair, but this is the reality in which we live, so if your boss's protégé is working with her better at least not to be at enmity. And ideally - to be friends, because this dramatically increases your influence on the boss
Whisper in his lady's ear about a potentially profitable project, or who in the team has an eye on him (or has a tooth) - and bingo, enjoy the result. True, it is better if the information to the mistress comes not from you, but from third parties, otherwise you will become familiar to the boss as a gossip and schemer. And you are not an intriguer. You generally passed by and just accidentally dropped the information you needed into the ears of the main gossip of the team. Yes Yes.
8. Sometimes you do not need to be ashamed of "jumping over your head" and contact your superiors if you have problems with someone who is closer. It is important to remember two points here:
- You are not complaining, but you are happy for the good deed of the company. Present information from the position “it seems to me that it will be better for the company”, “it would make the work of the team more comfortable, and therefore more productive”. Talk about productivity, profits, and boss benefits. Not for yourself.
- Find someone to turn the arrows on, organize an "external enemy" if you don't want to get between Scylla and Charybdis.
A little about manipulation methods
1. Flattery. People love flattery. Admire, compliment, pretend to be a fool, pretend that you know less than you really do, and certainly less than the interlocutor, do not hesitate to loyally look people in the mouth - then all secrets will ring out to you, without even suspecting that in fact in fact they are all on your pencil.
2. Refer to the authority of the team or boss.
3. A powerful trick is devaluation. “You exaggerate your volume of work, it is not as great as it seems. However, if you are not doing well …"
4. Make the other feel obligated to you. For example, do him a small favor, and then ask for something - he cannot refuse.
5. Promising a reward and intimidating at the same time. For example: "I wanted to recommend you not a promotion, but you are not fulfilling the plan, so …". This dramatically stimulates a person to take action - those that are beneficial to you.
6. Silence manipulation. Everything is simple here: be silent, smile mysteriously, speak in such a way that it seems to the person that you support him - he himself will draw all the conclusions you need. People are amazingly able to think out what they themselves want, you know.
What to read about intrigue
1. Of course, "Sovereign" Machiavelli. It is written in a bit complicated language, but if you understand the principles outlined there and how to apply them in real life, you will have no equal in intrigue.
2. "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu. The same can be said about him.
3. Lundy Bancroft “Why is he doing this? Who is an abuser and how to resist him. " A book written by a psychologist who has been monitoring abusive couples for many years. The book is addressed to women, but it describes many subtypes of manipulators and their techniques that you can use to intrigue at work.
4. Read the story "Intrigues" by Chekhov - this is an example of "how it is not necessary" for you.
Innocent people should not suffer from intrigue;
They should be beneficial to you, not just for pleasure;
Well, do not get carried away with intrigue too much. There will be no time left for work.