2023 Author: Katelyn Chandter | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 13:08
For many centuries and centuries, lived by people on Earth, many secrets have been revealed, but one question still remains open. Love …
What is love?
At this stage of human existence, there are already many interpretations and definitions of this word, but is any of them true? Can we argue that love is an all-encompassing feeling that happens to us only once in a lifetime? Conversely, can we say that we can experience it several times in a lifetime? All definitions are so abstract that confusion involuntarily arises in our head.
"Love is smoke billowing with the power of sighs." William Shakespeare
"Love is the best restorer." Pablo Picasso
“Love is a wild force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to comprehend it, it confuses us. " Paulo Coelho
"Love is a delightful deception that a person voluntarily agrees to." Alexander Sergeevich Pushkin
"Love, like fire, knows no rest: it ceases to live as soon as it ceases to hope and fear." Francois La Rochefoucauld.
After analyzing many definitions, we can say without a doubt that humanity is still building only guesses about what love is. Even the greatest minds could not give precise definitions!
But attempts to find out the essence of this feeling continue to this day. Scientists continue to research and try to subordinate this feeling to the laws of physics, biology, statistics and politics. It is difficult to argue with some of the facts identified by scientists:
1. "It takes four minutes to fall in love."
Love at first sight is not a kind of love, but its definition.
During the first 4 minutes, the partner and your compatibility with him are assessed. After that, on one of the shelves of your subconscious mind there is already information about love for this person. This is something like a "capture", like a flash from a camera, which "captured" the image of a person who will never leave you now.
There are many stories and examples from life, proving that love at first sight really exists.
“I have always thought that love at first sight is nonsense. Physical attraction, yes, but not love. I counted until I experienced such love myself. Fell in love at first sight, and so much that she herself did not expect. Also mutual. Sex was on the first evening, as well as declarations of love. I said: “I love you, I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, but today I love you, I love you with all my heart” - and this was the most sincere declaration of love that I have ever made. I parted with my MCH, whom I had met for more than 1, 5 years, my beloved broke up with the woman with whom I was 7 years old … Three days after the first meeting, they began to live together, a couple of months later they were planning a wedding. But he had a very difficult character, and we parted on my initiative. After half a year, I married another man. But I will remember that crazy love and passion for the rest of my life. But, despite the feelings, some people are not made for each other … that man has already had a child, I also plan in the near future. Sometimes we call each other, and it's been 3, 5 years already … When I hear his voice, a lump in my throat prevents me from speaking. But this is already the past."
“After the first date, my husband confessed his love to me, although he had seen me twice in his life before, there was no sex, a month later he left the family, two months later he made an offer and presented a ring. They have been married for a year and a half. He was then 38 years old, not a boy."
“I'm not generally sentimental, but there was a case. So I met my husband. Met at that time with a guy, everything went to the wedding. Arrived for work, went into his office. I saw him for the first time in my life, I stand, I look into his eyes and understand that all this has already happened, and that I have known him for a hundred years, I see us together. It was a strange feeling. I left the office and to the aunt with whom I came, I say: "I will marry him." She was shocked)) Three months later they got married with him.
“When I saw him for the first time, it immediately flashed through my head - I want to spend my whole life with this person. On the second date, he proposed to me, they have been happy together for 6 years."
But this does not mean that the love that comes with time, we have the right to call a habit.
On this basis, there is a lot of controversy:
- Can you call a feeling love, if you realized it after a long time?
- And can the feeling be called love, when you cognized it first than the person himself?
This confusion is caused by our awareness, which sometimes does not function as quickly as we would like it to be. What controls this speed remains a mystery.
If you realized that you love a person only after a while, this does not mean that you did not love him before. It looks like a blow to the head, because love always comes suddenly, and you do not easily realize that you love, but that you loved this person throughout the entire time of communication with him. Whether it was weeks or years, it doesn't matter. Before, it was as if you were blind and did not notice the obvious things.
It doesn't matter at what moment the realization of love came to you, it is important that true love happens in the first 4 minutes of the meeting.
"It is no coincidence that we choose each other … We meet only those who already exist in our subconscious." (Sigmund Freud)
2. The first time of love is especially beautiful, in the common people it is called the "candy-flower period" or "blinding"
During this period, everything seems to cease to exist for you. All thoughts and actions revolve around the chosen one. The air is saturated with magic, the heart with love, and the eyes with endless joy. It is not for nothing that they say that lovers are visible immediately, they seem to emit light, which from the side is not just visible, it catches the eye.
Many are worried about the question: "Is it possible to maintain relations further at the level of fanaticism that was in the first year of love?"
No matter how hard you try, your relationship will change after a year, because it's not about you, it's about nature. It can't end the way it began. This is simply not possible. In this world, nothing stands still: everything moves, everything grows old, grows, improves, degrades. The end cannot be the same as the beginning. This would be contrary to all the laws of the universe. A person cannot be born as an infant and die as a baby. Likewise, human relationships are no exception. Relationships are undergoing the same changes as our face, thoughts, goals and lifestyle.
But "blinding" love is a necessary component of a relationship built on real feeling. And it will repeat itself every time you fall in love.
The question involuntarily arises in my head: "But isn't love the only one?"
Since childhood, we have been told that somewhere in this world there is our half. But only fairy tales and parents tell about it. Can we fully believe in both? Both fairy tales and parents tell us too much about things that don't really exist. But the majority still prefer to continue to believe in this myth. For them, this is simply convenient, since they can write off their unsettled relationship on the fact that it is simply not their half.
But what if the other half is Santa Claus?
Do you believe that your relationship did not work out just because your significant other is somewhere on the other side of the world waiting for you? Or maybe you yourself are to blame for the fact that it all ended?
The myth of the soul mate is shrouded in an aura of purity and purity, which in turn attracts the interest of romantics and “saints”. Belief in the perfect and the beautiful is a necessary component of people's lives, but every time we close our eyes with our hands for the sake of such belief, we miss something very important in our life. Thinking about the other half allows us to give up when we need to fight.
In fact, there is no specially designated person for living long happy years together. We can truly fall in love an unlimited number of times. But as experience shows, in their short life, even the most loving cannot physically exceed the number 10.
But will all these feelings be equally strong?
This is the same if you are madly in love with traveling. Having traveled to London and Havana, you will enjoy both journeys, despite the fact that they will be completely different.
People are different, relationships are different and, in the end, they are all different stories.
“What is hell? Suffering that it is no longer possible to love”. Fedor Dostoevsky
"Gravity is not to blame for people falling in love." Albert Einstein
3. Since all these feelings are real, they cannot but bring pain at parting, both moral and physical
“Deep emotional experiences trigger certain chemical compounds in the brain that significantly weaken the heart, resulting in severe chest pain and shortness of breath.” In medicine, this condition is called “broken heart syndrome.”
Since childhood, we have been told not only that our soul mate exists somewhere, but also that “time heals”.
This is another delusion that seems to make us stay in zero gravity for a while. Yes, we really need this time, because it is much more difficult to move away from a strong feeling than after a serious operation.
But time passes and the wounds begin to heal. Then you have a chance to meet another love. And another film is launched, similar to the one that was before, but still completely different.
But does love pass? Can we pull the old feelings out of the nooks and crannies of our hearts?
Real feelings never pass. Time does not heal. We are misled by the distance that leads us to believe that everything is erased. You will never be able to start casual communication with the person who was once dear to you, because love does not pass. You will never forget everyone with whom you were truly in love, because it is like a bone prosthesis that once saved your life and you will never forget it, no matter how hard you try.
Does this mean that we are able to love several people at the same time?
In fact, a person is made in such a way that he is able to love the whole world! This is because in the ideal world of the creator, love should literally reign in the air we breathe. Love must pervade us completely. Love must flow through our veins, then only humanity will find peace and a future.
“Love is neither attachment nor possession, nor interest, nor concern. It is none of the above. This is the substance from which the Universe is created. " Sri Bhagavan Kalki.
Based on all of the above, we can conclude that we are by nature capable of loving several people at the same time, we are just so blinded by faith in the only love that we no longer persistently believe in what has real meaning.
Even if you have a strong feeling for a person who recently entered your life, this does not mean that the old feelings are gone. They just went to the 10th plan. But they are a part of you that you can never rip out of your chest and throw in the trash can. This is something that will stay with you for life. And it doesn't matter if this feeling is muffled now or not. It will be alive as long as you yourself are alive.
The human heart is a prime example of visual deception that leads us to believe that there is too little room in it. But in reality it is not, your heart is not so small, there is room for hundreds of people in it.
The Bible teaches: "Love your neighbor as yourself …"
Whatever mistakes you make in your life, you still forgive yourself for them. Forgiveness is a great gift that a person has. And as soon as a person realizes that forgiveness should be applicable not only to himself, but also to everyone whom we have loved and will love, then his life will acquire a fundamental basis on which love of universal proportions will grow.
"Looking back at the life you lived, you will understand that only those moments when you were guided by the spirit of love were truly lived." Henry Drummond