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2023 Author: Katelyn Chandter | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 13:08
Raising a child is hard work, often with unpredictable results. And, unfortunately, not all moms and dads know how to do this job correctly. Most parents are interested in the well-being of their child and do everything possible and impossible for this. However, sometimes the desire to fence him off from all the difficulties and worries goes beyond all boundaries. This is how hyper-care appears in the family. But what is this phenomenon? What is the danger of overprotection? And what if you are that overprotective parent? You will receive answers to these and other questions, and you should start by studying the term itself.
What is overprotection?
Overprotection is excessive parental control over a child. She is usually presented as caring, when in fact she is not. The point is that overprotection is not associated with the well-being of the child, but with the complacency of the parents. And the saddest thing is that adults are not aware of their own anxiety and psychological problems, which means they do nothing with their emotional state.
Overprotective parents usually manipulate, demand, order, or blackmail. The desires and needs of the child are ignored, and adults make absolutely all decisions for him. You need to understand that this phenomenon is nothing more than one of the forms of violence.
7. Let him be wrong
Everyone has the right to make mistakes. Why is your teen worse? He must learn to accept the consequences of his choices.
8. Do not humiliate him in any way
Punishing a child is a compulsory necessity. And, if you really scold him for his misconduct, then definitely without humiliation, and even more so without assault. And the most important thing is that you need to evaluate only the deed, and not the whole personality of the child (not “You are bad”, but “You acted badly”).
9. Forget about orders, manipulations and blackmail
Do not allow yourself to talk to a teenager in an orderly tone, do not blackmail him and try to get rid of manipulative behavior. Use only calm intonations, learn to ask and accept refusals.
10. Invite him to discuss common household chores
Try to have a family gathering where your child also has a voice. For example, you need to update your wallpaper or buy new furniture. Ask him what patterns or colors work best, what style he likes best, etc.
11. Encourage his initiative
It is important to understand what a teenager loves and knows how to do, so it will be easier for you to figure out what he can do on his own of his own free will.
12. Praise him for his real achievements
It is important not to over-praise your teenager, because otherwise he himself will not know his strengths and weaknesses. Therefore, encourage only worthy actions.
Of course, you won't be able to get rid of your own pathological attitudes right away. This may take many days, weeks, or even months. But any changes for the better are worth it, because the happiness of your most dear and beloved person is at stake. However, if you feel that nothing works alone, contact a psychologist or psychotherapist.
So, healthy love, caring and adequate control over a child are necessary in order to raise a happy and independent personality. Remember that with a child, especially a teenager, you need to establish, first of all, a strong trusting relationship so as not to lose him. And sincerity and openness cannot coexist in any way with excessive exactingness and lack of the right to choose.