Love and money: an eternal conflict of interest

2023 Author: Katelyn Chandter | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 13:08

Today, you can often hear that sincere and tender feelings are already outdated, and commodity-market relations have come to the fore. It seems like everyone chooses a partner for themselves, based on the amount of money in his wallet. A kind of marriage of convenience, but most often without a stamp in the passport at all.

And all the polls fiercely condemn such an attitude towards partnership. But before you kick yourself in the chest with a heel and skip to prove your disinterestedness, let's figure it out together why it turned out that money became at the forefront. And is it really so bad that it is easier to go to a monastery than to have a relationship based on, in addition to sympathy (which certainly cannot be done without), there will also be cold calculation? So let's go. You don't have to wave your hand.

Human needs

If you listened carefully to the teachers at the institute, then you probably know about the sensational Maslow pyramid. If not, I'll tell you briefly. The essence of this theory is that each person has a number of specific needs for a comfortable life. At the base of the pyramid are the most important points, without which existence is simply impossible. And the closer to the top, the more secondary the needs are. These are the layers, starting with the most basic:

Physiology

Of course, life is no longer possible without satisfying the desires of one's own body. This includes hunger, thirst, warmth, sexual desire (yes, without it, too, you yourself understand how without hands, so you can safely hang this pyramid over the matrimonial bed and point your finger at it every time the wife refuses to fulfill her sacred duty).

Security

After satisfying all basic needs, a person begins to strive for a sense of security. Surely you will only be comfortable when you get rid of the fear and associated setbacks. Here the psychological aspect of the personality already begins to take effect. Once the body has received what it wants, consciousness takes the reins.

Love and belonging

Sounds a bit like BDSM. But what I really mean is the infusion into society. That is, at this stage there is a need to be accepted and understood by other people. Ideally, also kindly (not as in the first stage, do not confuse). This desire completely coincides with the romantic mood. Candy-bouquet period, so to speak.

Respect

So, you are full, safe, in love and loved. What will your darling want next? Of course, success and recognition from the public. Here you can also lay careerism, the desire to get rich and rise up the job ladder. In general, nothing too bad.

If you begin to neglect at least one of the steps of this pyramid, there is a risk of feeling restlessness, turning into apathy and a very real depression. So, never judge colleagues who are striving to the top. This is a normal human need.

Cognition

We got a similar desire since biblical times, when the curious Eve could not restrain the need and ate the forbidden fruit. Since then, every descendant of the first people has been striving all the time to explore, study and dig deeper. If such a desire does not arise, then the previous stages are not yet sufficiently satisfied. Yes, it's not you lazy brute, and Maslow's pyramid is not full.

Aesthetics

So we got to the very top. It means that a man is standing there, all so satisfied and thinking about what else to desire. And only beauty remained. When you have everything that was voiced above, the soul begins to demand something of a kind and incomprehensible. For example, renovations in the living room, new furniture, all sorts of pictures in the bathroom and other aesthetic whims.

Agree that changing the wallpaper, painting walls and composing poetry on an empty stomach and a complete male household is somehow very pulling? That is why aesthetic needs are the last step in this pyramid.

And now a logical question. Where is the money, Lebowski? Why is there no dough in this wish list, which is now so valued? But love is already taken out as a separate item. How so? Doesn't fit with reality at all. In fact, you just need to look between the lines.

Love and money are practically inseparable concepts, and a little below I will tell you why. Now analyze properly all the stages of the pyramid. What do you think will help a person to satisfy his most important needs, without which no aesthetics will be needed? That's right, money.

With them you will buy food, drink, simple, but at least warm clothes. Do you want to be safe? Please buy a house or rent an apartment so as not to spend the night on the street with marginal people. If you look normal, it means that they will be accepted in society. People don't want to make friends with homeless people. So much for the basics.

Note that the satisfaction of all these needs is much more important than a simple feeling of love. And do not resist, you will not be full of her. Any thoughts started to appear in your head? Let's now transfer all of the above to the relationship between a man and a woman (I'm in favor of the traditional option, if that).

Love and money: why there is no normal family without financial well-being

So, here you started dating, and then living with a girl. Everything is fine, butterflies in the stomach, flowers on weekends and rampant sex every day. But then a terrible monster begins to slowly penetrate into your trouble-free life, destroying everything in its path. I'm talking about everyday life. So what's next? Let me turn on the foresight.

Slowly, passion fades away, flowers are replaced by bags of groceries from the nearest supermarket, and unrestrained sex turns into joint planning of upcoming spending on a communal apartment. So-so perspective, right? However, all these questions will certainly arise if you really decided to stir up in a serious way.

Do you want to know why women are increasingly starting to pay attention to the financial situation of their partner, and not his taste in bouquets? I will give you several unambiguous answers to your question. So, what happens in a family when money is sorely lacking:

Envy of the environment

When everyone around goes somewhere to relax, post beautiful photos on social networks, buy new stylish clothes, eat in restaurants, and you and your beloved have been wearing the last sneakers for the sixth year in a row, what kind of moral peace can you talk about? Of course, some of you will end up annoyed that others have everything, and even here the refrigerator is empty.

Do you think the passion will continue in such conditions? I doubt something. There is no satisfaction of primary needs, which means that it is no longer possible to climb the pyramid. Others climb somehow. It does not smell here of big and pure love, my friend, when there is nothing to eat.

Uncertainty about the future

Do you know what scares people the most? Not war and not hunger, but rather uncertainty. When you and your beloved soulmate don't have a financial safety cushion, who knows what tomorrow will bring? What if you need to buy medicine, replace household appliances, or fix a wall that suddenly collapsed?

Love and money always go hand in hand along with moral peace and the absence of headaches about the near future. So, if a woman starts to endure your brain about money, think about the fact that she really cares how you will live on.

Fear for offspring

Whatever one may say, but the nature laid down the desire of a person to find a partner and have children. Of course, this is not an axiom for everyone (and this is normal), but most often a pair is formed for this very purpose. When financial problems arise in a family, a woman, on a subconscious level, begins to feel fear for her children.

Because it's not so scary to experience your own hunger as to see the suffering of babies. So in such conditions, the question will surely arise point-blank: either we do not have children until everything settles down, or we urgently begin to improve our situation. And this, in fact, is an absolutely correct decision. It is clearly not worth relying on outside help and a "wizard in a blue helicopter" who will just accidentally fly by and give the bunny a lawn.

Problems in the intimate sphere

And after all, these are most often not just whims and manipulations on the part of the fair sex (although there are also such not very intellectual ladies). When there are a lot of problems in the family, and a woman does not have a free minute to just put herself in order and exhale, since she is constantly trying to solve the sacred question of survival for the remaining 500 rubles, she certainly does not have time for sex.

Or you can be content with a half-dead log that had an orgasm for the last time on your date even before deciding to live together. This option will also not suit every man. If it seems to you that all this is the invention of women with an ever-sore head, then you are mistaken.

The fact is that men and girls enjoy sex in completely different ways. First of all, physiology is important for you. But a woman, even with a super-experienced and gentle lover, can remain cold if on a moral level she is uncomfortable. Now imagine again what it would be like to try to satisfy yourself and your partner when your head is full of problems. No, my friend, there is no time for whims. You can stay frigid for the rest of your life.

Lack of good rest

I have always said and will continue to insist that a vacation spent at home or at a family hacienda will not give strength. We need a total change of scenery. Only in this way will the head be cleared of problems, and the nervous system will receive a long-awaited reboot. But think for yourself, what kind of rest can be when there is simply no money?

As a result, you get a frustrated and nervous woman, tired and fucked up of herself. In this case, will big and pure love, about which so much is said in fairy tales, help? I don't think so.

Constant reproaches

Men call it brain removal. And you can offer alternative options, if a woman, for example, works like a horse, pulls on herself the whole life and possibly children, and her beloved partner sits in a creative search, waiting for the CEO to call Gazprom and propose to become his deputy?

I agree, there is also a reverse situation, when a lady simply sits on her gentleman's neck and hangs her beautiful legs. Then the opposite occurs: the man begins to get angry and reproach the once beloved woman for the inability to help and support. Well, where is happiness here, when the house is a continuous scolding and showdown?

Lack of respect for your partner

When there is an open lack of money in a family, love immediately fades into the background. This is not a sad fact and not an indicator of the materialization of society, but a completely normal position of two adults. It is impossible to have respect for a partner when he in every possible way ignores the problems that have arisen. Yes, money is needed, and this is a banal fact that simply needs to be taken for granted.

I am now talking about each member of the formed pair. Respect must be mutual, otherwise you will not go far. If one person completely shifts worries about the family budget onto the shoulders of another, freely using the benefits and not controlling expenses, you cannot cook porridge with him. There is no respect, which means you just need to leave. This is a tough, but the most honest decision.

As you can see, love and money will always go alongside. And the point is not in the commercialism of modern man, but in his prudence and rationality. Of course, all this should not go beyond the norm. If, for example, a girl begins to live with a man without feeling any sympathy for him, but because a partner can simply provide a comfortable existence, then such a position is not the norm.

Women are calculating and infinitely in love: who to choose?

Perhaps this is the main question of a modern guy. And the answer seems to be obvious. We all read and listened to fairy tales in childhood. And they lived happily ever after and died, as they say, in one day. But will reality be as beautiful? Let's figure out which potential beloved is worth paying attention to.

To begin with, just accept that now all women are looking far ahead and do not want to build relationships with hopeless guys. Housewives and those who want to give birth uncontrollably, just not to work, are becoming less and less. I would like to give you a small guide on a woman's soul to highlight both the positive and negative sides of girls, which you should always pay attention to. So, here is a list of the positive features of the opposite sex associated with finance:

Knows how to competently manage the budget

Do not confuse it with the desire to stupidly take away your salary and spend on your own Wishlist. Planning all expenses, being able to set aside some amount for rest and unexpected purchases - these are the signs of a mature personality. And you yourself can squander all the money in one week.

The main thing is not to consider this quality for greed and a desire to control everything. Believe me, with such a girl you will not be lost and hungry in the middle of the month, when the advance payment has already been spent, and the calculation will not be so soon, you will not stay.

Has its own funds

Such a desire is worth respecting. Few ladies will be pleased to ask their partner to buy her some underwear or the same tights. Let her salary be less than yours, but is the desire for independence worse than the need to sit tightly on a man's neck?

If your girlfriend does not want to sit at home and engage in purely household duties, then you should rejoice at the right choice of a woman, and not try to break her or remake her. Believe me, if someday you have a hole in your budget or you have to go to an unforeseen sick leave, such a spouse will always find some means for a comfortable existence.

Motivates to develop in the financial sector

By the nature of her work, she came across different families. In some, women in every possible way prevented any change in the situation and work of the husband, as they were afraid that they would lose their poor, but stability. In others, the spouses themselves actively supported any desire to go up. Even if the guy was in for a failure, coping with the failure together was much easier. And this option is much preferable.

There are also dangerous signs that symbolize toxic relationships:

• constant reminder of a man about his duties, but ignoring his own;
• scandals every time you decide to somehow raise the level of your earnings (new business, business, change of position, more difficult and hectic schedule);
• assurances that happiness is not in money (either a blatant lie, or an openly low IQ level);
• unwillingness to develop itself in any way;
• lack of desire for a separate budget (I do not mean a completely separate family wallet, namely, purely their own money for all sorts of women's expenses);
• unreal craving for a stamp in the passport, despite the financial situation and social status of both;
• the pursuit of endless decree.

Love and money are inseparable concepts. So don't look for a completely selfless woman. As a rule, such partners do not represent anything special and will quickly bore you with their “village” essence. With them, you will not move anywhere or develop, since with your beloved paradise is in a hut, which means that you don't have to move too much.

Too selfish ladies are also best avoided. This will run away with any problem. And it's not a fact that in bed with you she really feels good. Girls who have no sympathy for a man often imitate love, which soon turns into pure disgust. So I wish you to master a sober approach to choosing the very one. And, of course, good luck!