The universe is just and ruthless, but to be firm, it is not enough to have eggs. A lesson in masculine hardness and feminine plasticity, which are so lacking in the modern world.
When a man asks me how he can solve some difficult question for him: for example, to quit smoking, I am invariably interested in:
"Which way to offer you - male or female?" “Of course male,” the man replies. “Oh, then it's elementary. When you are firmly resolved to do this, you come up to a close friend and say: “Help me brother. I decided from now on not to take cigarettes in my teeth. If you see me once with her, I will give you my car. If you see it a second time, take my apartment. You will see the third time - I give you all my property and go wandering for a year. If I don’t do that, I ask you, as a friend, to stop considering me your friend, but consider me a friend, not refer to me in the masculine gender, but call me some pretty female name, for example Isadora. You can also give me some beautiful tights."
"And the feminine way?" - the man asks. "Oh, it's incredibly difficult for a woman, she has to go to personal therapy for several years, realize the reasons and continually delay the moment of making a decision."
This story is the essence of masculine toughness. If a man is capable of doing this as in my example, he is capable of an act. And then he becomes interesting, even to friends, even to women, even to the Universe. An act from the word "step". Take steps. If the husband is the one who leads the woman, then in order to lead - you need to act. Otherwise, running on the spot with seeming achievements. If you take Andrei Sakharov as an example: creating a hydrogen bomb was not an act, just an achievement, but to become a peacemaker at the cost of everything acquired is certainly an act. It is not a quit smoking.
There are several important points in my half-joke smoking story:
1. The first moment. To be hard, it is not enough to have eggs.
Even trying on such a development of events as in my example, a man is forced to go somewhere deep within himself. Look for some source of support, the legendary ray of Shiva, a dense stream of concentrated male energy. Your only reliable support in this volatile world. If the male consciousness comes into contact with this concentrated inner flow, the basis appears in the man. Does not touch - his consciousness really resembles a rag, the legendary metaphor that so often appears in female insults to men. A rag always needs something external to hang on it.
I'll tell you the obvious now. It's strange that no one has spoken it before me. Anyway, I have not heard. This entire bureaucratic institution, this entire notorious system, abused by everyone, has arisen in the modern world for one single reason. It replaces the missing male firmness. “But let your word be: yes, yes; no no; and what is beyond this is from the evil one,”was said in the Sermon on the Mount. All these signatures, seals, certificates, officials, lawyers are needed for one simple reason - men in our culture do not keep their word, since the task of the male consciousness is to keep the structure, to create support. If men do not do this, there is a need for artificial instruments. What can you take from them - children. Crafty children.
2. The second aspect of this example is price. The universe is just and ruthless.
Whether a man likes it or not, whether he uses the masculine aspects of consciousness or not, the bill will be presented to him in full. Account in the form of life circumstances, which will develop as if he has that very firmness, compassion, humility, wisdom, or any other aspect of the male path. When you understand that the bill will be presented in full, you realize all the idiocy of rejecting the masculine. The bill will come anyway, sometimes at the most inopportune (right) moment. Remember the phrase of Major Zheglov from “The meeting place cannot be changed”: “Remember, Sharapov. There is no punishment without guilt. He just had to deal with his women on time and not throw pistols anywhere. " A thousand times "Yes!"
When I received my first serious bill in life for payment, I suddenly realized that I had received absolutely deserved, all my previous life, earned troubles, that I had nothing to grumble and no one to blame, that all my moments of unmanifest masculinity had accumulated over my life, and I it's time to pay the bills. Initiation and nowhere to dump. You can dump, but in this case, the next double or triple initiation may be incompatible with life. And no one is to blame.
Women have the exact same story. Whether a woman fully uses the aspects of female consciousness or not, sooner or later she will receive a bill for payment as an absolutely one hundred percent woman. The game is the game.
The main task of a man in terms of firmness is to be lively and firm, that is, elastic, flexible.
This is the difference - firmness of spirit and firmness of character. Character is a dead firmness, decisions made once and for all. A hard and heartless man is a tyrant. No one enjoys or benefits from such firmness.
Firmness of spirit is agreement with your soul, the ability to manifest its intention even at the cost of transforming your own character. This is the only reasonable firmness.
The main task of a woman is to be lively and soft.
That is, plastic. This is a natural manifestation of female consciousness - free energy striving to fill everything around. In many cities, at different trainings, when I asked women to draw feminine energy, I saw the same process: a woman took a colored pencil, more often an orange one and began with undisguised pleasure to sketch white sheets of paper, finished one - took the next and so on until tired. And no energy harness.
In the interaction of elastic and plastic, all the beauty of the male and female dance is manifested. If two solid people meet, they fuck against each other and scatter like billiard balls. If two are plastic, they stick together into one piece of plasticine.
From childhood, a man has to show firmness, to find a flow of male energy within himself, long before the sex hormones are included in the game. Then he will be able to make his first childish, but already masculine decisions.
However, the most important male and female initiation is the first sexual relationship. Nature has foreseen everything. Lesson in masculine hardness and feminine plasticity. If he is not hard enough, and she is plastic enough, they will not succeed at all. One hassle. The main female lesson is from meeting his firmness: “If I want to deal with him, it will hurt me, so that I don’t get hurt, I will have to become plastic. And it's nice. Through his firmness, I learn to be a woman. Wow! How great it is!"
For those who are not aware of "fool" in Latin - "hard".
The main male lesson from a meeting with a novice woman, a very difficult male lesson, Lord, what a difficult male lesson: “From a meeting with my firmness - a woman will be hurt. If I am not firm enough, she cannot become a woman. If I am not loving and compassionate at the same time, she will hate the entire masculine gender. It's really nice to be firm with her!"
This is the difficulty in teaching masculine firmness. Whether we like it or not, when a man shows his firmness, someone next to him inevitably gets hurt, and the man himself gets hurt. Until he learns to masterfully use this firmness.
This is how this world works - there is no growing up without pain. The art of being a man is to show as much firmness as his soul requires, and as little as possible so that others are not hurt in vain. There is such a social myth that you can find a man next to whom a woman can feel no pain. A mature plastic woman - yes, a growing girl - to the extent that she will trust her nature, and not social standards and norms. With a man about whom you do not have to be hurt, you will have to babysit.
Any anesthesia only spoils everything. The first sexual relationship in a state of alcoholic intoxication can teach a woman for the rest of her life to resort to alcohol as a "emollient" - a replacement for her own plasticity. Also with a man and alcohol for courage.
If the male initiation took place with a mature woman, painlessly, he may never understand what price a woman pays to be close to a man. Disrespect for the plasticity deficiencies of immature women of any age. Wound in vain. No compassion.
I repeat once again - the people around the man: children, women, other men suffer not from masculine hardness, but just from its absence. It hurts with a hard man - but that's what is sweet. A woman who is too hard will bounce off him like a billiard ball. For everyone else, just his firmness is attractive. Attractive to children, women, other men. With soft no way - solid petting and no sparring.
And the last thing is psychosomatics. Lack of firmness in consciousness will inevitably manifest itself in the body. I remember my very difficult night when I had to deal with renal colic. It was the only time in my life. I took this pain all night without any painkillers. I gave myself to her. By morning, the pain subsided. I called Zhuravushka: "Wow, how hard you have become," she said, hearing my voice on the phone, "now it will be much more difficult with you." I have not been tested because I never get tested. But renal colic has never recurred since then.
In my experience, when a man heals his symptoms, he becomes more masculine; when a woman heals her symptoms, she becomes more feminine. It should be so.
