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2023 Author: Katelyn Chandter | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-05-21 13:08
Everyone lies and does it unprofessionally that you can catch them. Advice from a former CIA agent on how to recognize even the most skilled liar. How to become a lie detector yourself and accurately identify lies?
“Actually, human beings are terrible liars. This is how nature created us. Thoughts rush along the neural connections in our brain at a breakneck speed, but by expressing a deliberate lie, we still betray ourselves. These hints are almost imperceptible, but it is still possible to discern them,”writes Jason Hanson in his book“Protect Yourself by the Method of Special Services”. We have selected tips for you on how to recognize even the most skilled liar.
How to catch in a lie
The first three to five seconds
As I mentioned, when a person intends to lie, you can tell by their behavior in the first three to five seconds after you ask your question. A liar may start to stutter, stumble over the first words, fail to be able to logically present his story, stamp on some details, details. This is because our brains take time to construct the appropriate lie. For example, you ask an employee: "Do you know who took the money from the cash register?" - pay special attention to how this employee behaves in the first three to five seconds after you ask him.
Whoever tries to deceive you will never answer your question directly. For example, he will begin to list why he should be believed. He will mention all the good deeds that he once did: what a wonderful Boy Scout he once was, how he volunteers and helps the homeless … All this, of course, is wonderful, but does not replace the truth. An honest person will simply answer the question, and will not dwell on his merits and achievements.
The title of "Eagle", received when I was a Boy Scout, does not imply absolute honesty, just as the fact that a person repeats about his religiosity does not mean that he can be trusted with closed eyes. Very often, liars, trying to convince you of something, emphasize their belonging to any church. After I was able to make a deal on Diamond John's Shark Pool TV show, a lot of people approached me with all sorts of offers. I asked one of them to show me his business plan and costing, to which he replied, “Jason, I'm a Christian. You can trust me". For me, it was a signal of alarm: if only this one during which novice businessmen come up with their proposals and conclude deals.
Many believe that it is possible to catch a person in a lie if you carefully observe the expression on his face - how it suddenly changes, how his eyes and lips move: these, they say, can be considered clear signs of lies. But in fact, legs give out much more information than faces. If you are sitting next to a person and he, answering your question, starts suddenly involuntarily jerking his leg, this most likely means that he is lying. In other words, if, when answering simple, meaningless questions, the interlocutor's legs are at rest, but to the question "Where did the money go?" he suddenly starts changing their places, tapping with his sole, this, most likely, means that he is giving an untrue answer. Legs generally betray us very often. For example, they indicate the direction in which a person intends to go. If you are chatting with someone at a party and the other person's feet are pointing to the door, it means that they are already thinking about how to leave.
Customs officers are trained to observe the feet. The one who has nothing to hide, during a conversation with the customs officer at the airport not only looks at him - his feet are also turned towards the customs officer. If a person calmly and easily talks with the customs officer, but his feet are turned towards the exit, the customs officer may suspect that the matter is unclean: it is quite possible that he is carrying drugs or some other prohibited items.
The figure freeze in place
Have you seen how a turtle pulls its head into its shell? So a person who feels guilty tries to move as little as possible, freeze. This is one of the clearest signs that the person is cheating on you. I fly a lot and once in flight I smelled a terrible smell - someone released gases, but quite abundantly. I started looking around - who could have done this? Those sitting nearby also began to twist their heads, and only one person, sitting on the left, in the row in front, seemed to be frozen. And I immediately realized that it was he who did it.
Too sincere look
Many are convinced that the liar is betrayed by the eyes. It is likely, however, that the signs that you are being lied to may not be what you are used to thinking. You believe that if a person does not look you in the eye, if his gaze is directed downward, then he is telling a lie - but he may have many reasons to look down! For example, your boss calls you and in a demanding tone asks where such and such files have gone. You will naturally lower your gaze - this is prompted by your subordinate position, the situation itself. But the deceiver will deliberately look a demanding boss directly in the eyes, and this is just different from normal human behavior in this situation: the liar, with his direct open gaze, tries to convince him that he has absolutely nothing to hide.
Once I went on vacation abroad. Then I was still working in the CIA, but, of course, I did not tell anyone about this: it would be somehow strange if I were at passport control in a foreign country, when asked where I work, cheerfully told that I was a CIA agent. At the customs control desk, I was asked many questions, one of them related to work. I said that I work in one of the Washington museums as a security guard. Speaking of this, I forced myself not to look the customs officer in the eye. That is, to look, of course, at her, but from time to time to look away and look down, so that the officer does not suspect me of lying. It worked.
A person caught lying often reacts too emotionally. His task is to suppress you, to make you feel uncomfortable if only because you dared to doubt him. With such an overreaction, he achieves that you have no desire to ask any questions at all. I am sometimes asked what to do with unfaithful husbands. For example, one woman, having rummaged in her husband's cell phone, suspected him of treason and asked me how to follow him. At the same time, she was convinced that in fact he was faithful to her, since everything was in perfect order with them. I suggested that she talk to her husband directly, talk about the "evidence" she found, and see how he would react.
The next day she called and joyfully announced that her husband had no affair on the side - he was so outraged by her suggestion, so upset that she did not trust him! But in fact, it was a very bad sign! If there are no sins behind you, but your wife accuses you of treason, you are most likely unlikely to become too violently indignant, yell and beat yourself in the chest. You will behave differently. That poor woman received evidence of her husband's betrayal, which I told her about. As it turned out later, I was right, but she still does not understand how I managed to find out. When someone reacts too sharply in response to your question, be aware that it is quite possible that this person is deceiving you.