Imagine yourself in your prime. Describe the day you would have lived if you had absolute freedom, unlimited means and all the strengths and skills that you only dreamed of.
My perfect day
Grab a pen and enough paper (or a tape recorder if you're more comfortable dreaming out loud) and take a leisurely stroll through the perfect day in your day-to-day life. This should not be a day of vacation, not a day with forced activities, but such a daily routine as you would like to see it.
Live this day in the present tense and in every detail, from waking up in the morning to going to bed in the evening. What is the first thing you do when you wake up? What do you eat for breakfast? Do you cook it yourself or is it brought to your bed with a rose and a morning newspaper? Do you take a hot bath for a long time? Or do you prefer an invigorating cold shower? What kind of clothes do you wear? How do you spend your morning? Day? On different parts of the day, are you at home or on the street? Calm or Active? Alone or with a company?
As you go through an imaginary day at a leisurely pace, keep three essential categories in mind: what, where, and who. What are you doing? What kind of work are you doing, what kind of game? Imagine yourself in your prime. If you want to sing or steer a ship, but do not know how to do it, then in this fantasy you can do everything.
Question number 2. What is optional, but would still very much like to have?
Question number 3. What is really just self-indulgence? It would be nice to have it, but can you do without it?
Here's how Mary described what she really needs:
Necessary
What: to write
listen to music
physical activity
animals
Where: personal account with a large table
spacious place to live
Who: my husband
many friends both near and far
Optional but desirable
What: learning to play the guitar
Where: Live in beautiful countryside close to a vibrant city with a rich cultural life
Who: a child (it may sound strange, but I will be happy with life without children, although I would like to have one!)
Pampering
What: horse
printing press
Where: own adobe house
in a small town in spain
(It would be great to have it all, but I’ll be fine without it.)
That doesn't mean you shouldn't have it! We are just prioritizing: what you cannot live without, what you must bring into your life in the first place in order to get a source of energy that will allow you to achieve the rest.
On the other hand, Mary described the new version as follows:
“I live in Atlanta, where I am now, but in a larger apartment. I get up early, drink coffee with my husband, feed the cats and go to my office - he is a few blocks from our house. This is an upstairs room I rented with windows overlooking a lovely courtyard. I write until noon, or longer if I want to. Then I check my mail and go to the sports club, train and swim. The rest of the day is basically unchanged: having lunch with a friend… spending time at the bookstore… baking bread… listening to music… having dinner with friends. We'll just clean the house, the horse, the press and the guitar for a while.”
After you've tinkered with your ideal day, answer three even more important questions.
Few of us are completely unhappy with the current state of affairs. Some of your desires and dreams have already been able to make their way into reality. This question will clarify what has already happened in your life as it should. You will understand what sources of satisfaction you already have. This will be a solid foundation and source of energy at the beginning of your journey. Knowing what you already have will help you identify what you are unhappy with - the subject of the next question.
Question number 6. What elements of a perfect day are missing from your life? Use the “what”, “where”, “who” categories to understand what is missing.
Question number 7. What separates your tomorrow and your revised ideal day? What needs to be done to get the missing items? What difficulties and obstacles prevent you from getting them right now?
You find that you know what your ideal day should be, as distinctly as you know what clothes you want in your closet. Now is the time to start transforming your fantasies and style into something you can actually get.
