Sometimes men have to cut ropes and throw the girl. A real man, if he decides to break off a relationship, should alleviate women's suffering and minimize her experiences. How to leave a girl or how do gentlemen leave?
They say that when parting, three quarters of the grief goes to the abandoned, the one who leaves takes away only one quarter of the sadness. A real man, if he has already decided to break off relations, then must ease the female fate, minimize the suffering of his former lover.
We asked the girls to dream up about the ideal man. Moreover, in our request, we went further and asked to describe the ideal ending of a relationship with an ideal man. What should he do and say so that the separation initiated by him can be endured as calmly as possible?
Alisa, 22 years old, Chernivtsi:
I don't believe in good breakups. It always hurts and hurts. They "leave beautifully" for themselves, for selfish reasons, so that the conscience does not torment them too much.
It seems to me that a real man, leaving, should play the role of a scoundrel. Burn all the bridges. The last thing you want to hear is the noble "I am not worthy of you" or "The problem is in me." You leave, you hurt - ok. But there is no need for these secular flirting in the end, proposals to be friends at home. Only the mysterious disappearance is worse.
Parting should be a shake-up, so that you immediately want to live on, and not yearn for Him, so sensitive. Certainty is important to me and, when parting, I do not want to doubt whether I am now losing my ideal. It’s better to hurt me once than this social ritual will drag on in unnecessary agony.
Svetlana, 31 years old, Lviv:
The guy loses the guise of perfection as soon as he decided to leave me. But seriously, I don't like long partings. For me, the best option is to talk. They dotted all the i's, they say, the relationship has exhausted itself and it's time to change something. Not the end of the world, rather the beginning. It is advisable not even to tell how good I am, sweet gentle, but he got confused in himself.
There are only a few signs that the guy was good if he did not disappear when he just went out to throw out the trash, did not start dating your best friend, does not divide the acquired property.
In this situation, the girl needs to gather her courage and even celebrate. After all, this is a new incentive to go forward.
Karina, 26 years old, Kiev:
I broke up with the perfect guy. Repeatedly. With the same thing. Each time he was the initiator of the break. In each case, it seemed to me that he was doing everything right, but it still hurt a lot. The first time he disappeared. The next cycle of relationships ended with friendship. I did not find anything pleasant in both formats.
Surprisingly, he once again managed to leave me. He pretended not to notice me and walked past. Probably the best thing a man who leaves you can do is to ensure that you will never meet again.
Yara, 24 years old, Kiev:
I really don't want to part with the ideal. But since fate has decided so, then he, as a gentleman, must say this himself at a personal meeting. An SMS, a call, a letter or a carrier pigeon - all is not right. Say it all to your face, you're a man after all. And even if it is painful and not beautiful (and you can get cold if you cry in the wind) I would not take other methods seriously. Well, you never know, the man wanted to joke.
Therefore (my) ideal should go like this. I made an appointment. Came without delay. He told everything as it is, why we were parting with whom we were leaving, what she looked like, what kind of education and whether his favorite cake could cook. He listened to all my comments, answered all my questions. And then we agreed that until I get bored I will call, write and behave like friends, until I say enough. And then, after parting, he answers all the calls and even agrees to go to the bar, but I just don't call him to the bar. What for?
Darina, 25 years old, Chernihiv:
In novels, they usually write that a real gentleman leaves, tearfully apologizing for his act, falling on his knees in front of you and leaving in memory of himself some unpretentious house or typewriter. Or better yet, he dies. He dies somewhere in the Atlantic and a good uncle, a notary, informs you of his death, at the same time informing about your share in his will. Gentlemen must definitely leave something material to their former lover.
But, for me personally, the ideal breakup is a short conversation on the phone, after which an abyss will come. Delete the phone number, add it to the blacklist on the network and prohibit yourself and him from trying to establish a "friendly" connection.
I've had many breaks. Each of them is bitter and painful in its own way. But to endure snot and tears on your face, or the face of your partner, is just awful. Saying goodbye in the city is hard, because then you still have to get home, holding back emotions on the way. Pretending that you remained friends when there are still scratches from your nails on his back is stupid.
So for me a true gentleman says "sorry, I have an urgent secret assignment, I am leaving and will never return."
