A guy about living together with a girl
A guy about living together with a girl

Many dream of living together with a girl in the hope of regular sex, a warm dinner, order in the house and feminine warmth. But in reality, something completely different awaits you, which is usually not talked about.

I've always thought that the main benefit of living with a woman is regular sex. I dreamed: I’ll wake up in the morning - I’ll go to bed right away, I’ll come in the evening - and I’ll fuck until we fall asleep.

In fact, it turned out …

that we fuck no more than 2 times a week, because:

* I came supposedly drunk

* She has a headache

* she needs to write a dissertation

* she is hysterical because I bought milk of the wrong percentage of fat

* she has periods

* she wants to sleep even though she slept until noon

* she is offended at me for something

* she got a manicure

* she is not a sex slave

* if we fuck more than twice a week, then the sharpness of sensations is lost

* she just doesn't want to.

we are fucking
we are fucking

I always thought that a woman would help save money and plan a budget.

I dreamed: I’ll give her money, stop playing slot machines and billiards, and start saving up for a car.

In fact, it turned out that it would be better if I played slot machines. She needed money for:

* Activists, actimeli, yoghurts and other dairy products, * Most expensive birth control pills

* The most expensive pills for the headache that she gets after taking the Most expensive birth control pills

* courses in astrology

* shaping classes

* cosmetics and all sorts of bells and whistles such as foam for the bathroom produced by Mary Kay

* rags and shoes

* calls to hometown

* conclusions to the light (restaurant or theater)

* a book of her poems, which are impossible to understand without a jamb

* mobile phone payment

* orders of inedible Japanese trash called sushi

* much, much more …

Hot wife - happy life?
Hot wife - happy life?

I always thought that a woman would save me from cooking and washing. I dreamed that I would wake up in the morning and would not rip my socks off the floor, but put them on clean, dry and warm, right from the battery. And in the evening after work I will drink 100 grams and eat a delicious, steaming dinner.

In fact, it turned out:

* let me look for myself a cook. She's not like that. She will only cook vegetable salad and porridge - standing at the stove humiliates a modern woman

* Rejoice, pig, I cooked for you a chicken burnt on the outside and raw inside. Eat.

* she is afraid to come closer than 2 meters to my socks and panties.

I always thought that if I live with a woman, nothing will change in my ordinary life, but only a considerable amount of female warmth will be added. I dreamed that she would carry beer from the fridge to me and friends when we watch football.

In fact, it turned out:

* all my friends are morons and alcoholics, just like me

* no TV - headache

* no System of a Down and Smashing Pumpkins. We only listen to Mahler and Patricia Kaas.

* you cannot drink and smoke the plan - he will immediately quit

* going to football equates to treason

* … just like going to the billiard room

* … like watching porn

* family cowards kill sexual impulses in her. Achtung swimming trunks appeared in the wardrobe

* you cannot approach the computer - she checks the commas in the dissertation or makes astrological forecasts for all friends

* she makes me erase my site (waste. tata. ru)

* all my exes are f * cking, they can't be called

* my job is the yellow press, to work in it is a shame and a shame.

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