A man and a woman perceive life differently. The work of the male and female body determines the differences in the inclinations of the psyche and instincts. What are our differences?
Only after the first year of living together with my ex-wife did I begin to guess that the difference between us is characterized not only by external differences, upbringing and personal preferences.
Perhaps the first thing that surprised me was how my wife perceived what was happening in her life. For example, in the evening she shared the events of her day. Her story could last an hour. It had a lot of details, embedded stories, feelings and experiences. Despite the fact that the events of the day themselves were often quite commonplace, nothing special.
When it was my turn to share, I broadcast only a few proposals about some important events for me. This was the end of my story. This despite the fact that I really had a desire to share. And if my wife asked leading questions about my feelings in relation to what happened, I began to openly blunt, not even understanding what was required of me. Like, what feelings can there be? In the initial period of the relationship, this led to her suspicions of my insincerity. Moreover, comparing our stories, I myself began to doubt it. Especially considering the fact that I was fluent in philosophical categories and in general was inclined to indulge in reflections.
Then I set out to study this issue, and over time it became clear to me how differently we focus on what is happening. My focus was only on my goals. And my male vision of situations boiled down to several options:
target is not hit
target has not been hit yet
For the rest, my attention was not focused and was considered not particularly significant.
Listening to my wife's evening stories, I had to admit that my way of seeing the world is rather narrow and primitive. But his wife, of course, did not admit it. I'm a man!
A big difference
I secretly studied her model of perception, at the same time looking closely and comparing the models of other people. It turned out that the majority of women, to one degree or another, perceive information in a similar way. And this perception has many benefits. For example, attention to detail, richness of impressions, sensitivity to internal states - both our own and those of others.
But it didn't stop there. Over time, I began to notice more and more "female tricks" until I identified a big difference between a man and a woman. And in most cases, not in favor of the man.
In general, the difference in the degree and speed of development of a man and a woman is clearly visible if you look closely at how children behave. So, boys, in comparison with girls of the same age, are primitive and single-tasking creatures. And the worst thing is that the situation itself does not change with age.
A man can change a situation only through conscious efforts.
Women themselves, somewhere after 25 years old, take root in a condescending attitude towards men, as creatures of course useful, but slightly retarded, like big children. They, of course, do not tell this to men, but if you abandon male prejudices and take a closer look at their behavior, then the veil from the eyes will quickly disappear.
And if a man decides to study this issue, he will be forced to admit that women have every reason to treat this way.
According to my observations, before the age of 30, a man has little chance of catching up with a woman with whom he is in a relationship in development. And more often than not, if a man considers himself to be more developed, it is only because he measures a woman with a man's ruler, and therefore does not see the obvious - a woman is initially given more.
Ways of perception and spiritual development
So what exactly is the difference in perception?
It is expressed as follows: the man first analyzes the incoming information, categorizes, comprehends and only then, if he agrees with it, passes through himself. Moreover, most often from the initial information after the male processing, crumbs remain.
And understand this question subtly: information is not just meanings that we convey through words, but states, feelings, sensations, skills.
On the contrary, a woman first passes information through herself and only then, if she has a reason to share this with someone in a conversation, she comprehends it.
The difference between these processes is colossal and gives a woman a head start over a man in the first decades of her life. She almost immediately assimilates information, translating it into skills and experience, while experiencing concomitant states. The process of analyzing and building the incoming information into some kind of clear structure is not interesting for women at first, and later it is only interesting in the context of communication with men - as a way to immerse oneself in new states, or get to know the interlocutor better.
Purely mental processes based on some kind of abstraction seem to women completely lifeless, without any experience and therefore tiresome.
This is one of the reasons why men have a false impression of their development in comparison with women. For example, in communication, he tries to reveal her picture of the world through philosophical categories. And a woman does not have such a way of expressing her vision. In general, any speech without tangible states, sound and visible images has a bad effect on it. If a woman speaks mainly in abstract language, she seems to lose her femininity before her eyes. And most women feel it and avoid it in every possible way.
Due to the fact that a woman EXPERIENCES information, and does not think about it, by the age of 25 she is much more experienced than a man. In almost everything. The man next to her during these years is like an immature teenager. He is sure that he knows more than a woman, because she cannot answer his tricky philosophical questions. But when it comes to a specific life situation, it turns out that a woman is able to immediately act without relying on some kind of philosophy, while a man still comprehends what is happening and cannot decide to act in any way.
Have you heard of women who have created some kind of harmonious philosophical or psychological theories? Or maybe spiritual teachings and religions? I think few of you know these.
You may also notice that there are no women in the lineages of most spiritual teachings.
But if you look at the participants in various developmental lectures and trainings, you will notice that there are almost always significantly more women in them. Especially if the host has charisma. Moreover, almost all women are given practical exercises at once. And the reason is the same - a woman prefers to let states pass through herself. Theoretical concepts are secondary to them.
And what about the man?
And a man is dull in his development until he has a clear picture of the world, within which he will act, clearly defining his goals and inclinations. Therefore, for a man, authorities and theories are important, with the help of which he adds up his picture of the world.
This is both a minus and a plus. The downside is that a man has an external support at the beginning of his development path. It hardly rests on its inner core. The plus is that this external support can give him a lofty ideal and some idea of the path to it.
As I wrote earlier, a man first analyzes and comprehends what is happening. For this reason, his attention is constantly directed to external objects, in which he loses the sense of himself. At the root of male perception is a feeling of inferiority, a kind of search. And it's funny that the feeling of inferiority makes a man the main evolutionary link of humanity. Think about it.
For a woman, external objects are not important; for her, her own impressions of them are important. Remember, she first passes information through herself. And in this she is like a vessel into which the world pours various liquids, leaving new tastes on its walls. She takes root in a sense of her own usefulness and does not feel any inner lack. She doesn't need to leave her center. And as a result, its inner core is stronger than a man's.
Does this position have any disadvantages? Yes. Only one. A woman deep inside does not believe that she needs to change something in herself. The feeling of fulfillment deprives her of motivation for spiritual exploits. Just this.
And what is even more interesting, by and large, she does not need this spiritual feat. It can be done by a man whom she fully accepts as herself. This will be enough to receive from him everything that he has come to through efforts. And this, by the way, is not at all easy for her, given her established condescending attitude towards men.
Therefore, in marriage, a wise woman in every way inspires a man to grow. Her task is to raise him to her level. After that, all his further achievements can become her own.
A man, on the other hand, must master the female way of perceiving information. Based on masculine qualities. This is the most difficult task for him. To accept life without his own intervention (in the form of constant thinking and evaluations) is perceived by a man as a kind of internal suicide. Descartes once said:
I think, therefore I am.
This is a very masculine saying. For a man, losing his judgment is tantamount to losing himself. And it's scary.
This step can take years of his spiritual journey.
If a man begins to analyze spiritual practices, or, for example, the mysteries of martial arts, then he will understand that most of them have a "female character." Judge for yourself: accept without resistance, turn the enemy's strength against him, meet firmness with softness, be empty, flexible, pliable, light.
P. S. Of course, in our strange time, male and female qualities have mixed and do not always manifest themselves as clearly as I described. Men and women today often change roles. Nevertheless, a person cannot get away from the original parameters, in the form of a male and female body, which in many ways function differently. For example, their hormonal systems work very differently. And this causes differences in the inclinations of the psyche. And our instincts are manifested in different ways. So everyone who considers our differences to be very conditional - it is better to delve into this issue. There are many more differences than I touched on in this article. I only touched the root.
P. P. S. And, of course, the soul has no gender. But just realizing yourself outside the human form and thinking about it are not the same thing.
P. P. P. S. Inspiration to you!