If you are honest with yourself, it’s easy to find that you don’t like your life. But in the most important aspects to you, your life can be great, just the way you want it. How to realize yourself and achieve success?
You can learn to act confidently and master the tricks of playing on your nerves. Hone these skills to perfection and demonstrate them right and left, telling yourself and everyone around you how cool you are. And yet, something will be wrong. Something will be missing.
If you are honest with yourself, it’s easy to find that you don’t like your life. And you don't like yourself. And you are not strong at all, but simply cunningly avoid situations that you definitely cannot cope with. Although at the same time everyone tells you that you are super! The relic! Self-confident person.
All this is not true. People just want to flatter you. They often say what you want to hear. You want to be praised, right? To be admired at least a little? That's just it. There will be! But there is nothing behind these phrases: you are admired, but nothing more. In the most important thing, Nobody considers you. You have little or no money. Etc.
So confident behavior alone is not enough. You also need to learn to live like a truly strong person. Then confident behavior will become self-evident and will not require tension and titanic efforts.
How to make sure that you not only behave confidently, not only demonstrate strength, but also really be strong? Problem … But in fact it is possible.
Victory in everyday fights is just a stage in gaining self-confidence. The feeling of your own strength, which is always with you, suggests that in your life, in yourself, there is a certain basis, a core - a constant support in any battles, troubles and adversities. You should like your life, and you should also like you.
The way you look affects your feelings in the most direct way. Women, for example, know very well that some kind of hold on stockings or a speck on a blouse, oiled lipstick or mascara can make the whole evening twitch and poison the whole mood.
Your behavior is also important. If it seems to you that you are somehow behaving differently, you will constantly evaluate and control yourself, instead of enjoying life.
Finally, if something important in your life is not the way you want it, this is the end. This is discontent and disappointment. Moreover, constantly and regardless of the reason. Of course, man is not God and cannot fulfill his desires 100%. Then the incentives for growth and achievement will disappear. All this is so, and it is foolish to strive for perfection in absolutely everything. And yet, in the most important aspects to you, your life can be great, just the way you want it. This is what we should strive for.
Now - in detail on each item.
Your body
The body is yourself. If the body is healthy, you can work for a long time, eat and drink anything, fully enjoy sex. If the body is beautiful, people will like you, attract them and turn them on. Your body is the key to positive self-esteem. And the point is not to accept it with all its shortcomings and "love" it for what it is. This is the path of least resistance, which means sitting on your bottom and doing nothing.
The body must be put in order once and for all, as much as the modern level of medicine allows. It will take effort and expense. But then you will only need to keep yourself in shape and enjoy your body.
Above all, eat right. Food should be balanced in protein, fat, carbohydrates, and calories. Don't overeat. Don't eat all kinds of trash like express soups and instant pasta - they contain a lot of harmful chemicals. Avoid eating incompatible foods at the same time, such as meat and bread (proteins and carbohydrates).
And what is there? Hay! The world's food in bulk! Just do not absorb everything that is advertised on TV and with which the shelves of supermarkets are filled up. It's all chemistry and preservatives. It is designed for a sick person, disfigured by civilization. Much better - fresh vegetables and fruits, village milk and sour cream instead of urban slurry from powdered milk, real meat instead of sausages and sausages.
Of course, sausages with pasta cook quickly: poured it with ketchup, ate it with canned food, washed it down with Pepsi-Cola - and I'm happy. But there is so much chemistry in it! You all eat it! Alcohol and nicotine are far less harmful poisons than what you consume every day. The body gets used to small doses and does not seem to notice anything. But you are poisoning yourself …
So over the years, a lot of toxins have accumulated in your body, which, in theory, should be removed, but the body cannot cope: stones in the liver, intestines and kidneys. Invisible until it grabs. And when it grabs you and you roll and yell in pain, the gall bladder will open to you. They always do that. So…
Help your body in advance. The main thing is to cleanse the intestines and liver. You can starve according to Bragg or cleanse according to Malakhov. You can easily find books.
Move: run, swim, ride your bike. Moreover, it is better to swim in the river, not in the pool, run in the woods, and not on the path in the stuffy gym, and ride a bicycle in the park, and not on an exercise bike. How many? Feels like, but regularly.
And there are also different systems for dosing physical activity. Any coach will tell you about five at once.
As a result of working, walking, talking and physical activity, you expend energy. Your body is tired and you need to recuperate. It is for this purpose that rest serves. However, many people do not know how to rest. Sitting in front of the TV with a glass of beer, reading tabloid novels, going to a restaurant are not the best types of recreation. You don't seem to be doing anything, but you don't completely relax either. Therefore, after such a "rest" you feel tired.
A good rest assumes complete relaxation. After it, you should be vigorous, full of strength and desire. Experiment: Try different types of recreation and choose the ones that work for you.
Correct figure flaws. Your body should be beautiful, harmoniously built. Where muscles are provided by nature, they should be. And all sorts of excesses like fat must be eliminated mercilessly. Take care of yourself closely and albeit with difficulty, with sweat and blood at first, but put yourself in order: a little muscle - pump up, a lot of fat - drive away, something is not - build up (in extreme cases - by means of plastic surgery). Once and for life.
Heal your sores. Someone has bad teeth. Eight pieces. And he keeps putting off the visit to the dentist. Let it get to ten. Or because it is expensive. The other has a stinking breath, and he sucks on tik-taki and chews gum for fresh breath. Someone had a knot in their spine. Do not carry sores with you! List them and heal. Just do not flirt with the hospital, otherwise you can be treated all the way to the cemetery.
Another important note about the body: it (that is, you) must smell good. Smell is the most important channel of information about the world around us. Since ancient times it has been used by animals for orientation in the world. The smell allows you to detect the enemy long before he saw or heard him. People have forgotten how to use smell like animals. But their sense of smell was by no means atrophied. And if you smell unpleasant or, God forbid, you smell so bad that you want to open the window and stick your nose into it, this will alienate anyone from you. No image will help here: it will simply be impossible to be with you - physically impossible. Wash often and get used to using perfume. As for bad breath, go to the dentist.
One last thing: relax. Almost all people have something constantly tense somewhere, jaws are clenched, shoulders are raised, arms and legs are twisted and cut - all this takes away strength, leads to fatigue and fatigue. After all, to maintain a muscle in a state of tension, you need a lot of energy. The same energy that can be used to fulfill desires and achieve goals. Here you will find a sauna, massage and body-oriented therapy.
Ideally, the body should not remind of itself. And you don't need to do it on purpose, unless you are, of course, a professional athlete. Just tidy yourself up, and then keep in shape. It will take minimal effort and you will be pleased.
Image
It's quite simple here. You will need three things: a desire to look pretty, a good stylist, and money. The desire is supposed to already be there. Stylists are like cockroaches, just find a real master. You may need a lot of money. But these are your problems.
Appearance is a means of non-verbal communication. With its help, we can tell people information about ourselves that will help them form an opinion about us. By changing only small details of our appearance, we can change the attitude of people towards us and, thus, achieve the desired results and fulfill our own dreams.
Psychologists have come to the conclusion that appearance - height, weight, skin color, clothes, hairstyle, accessories, and when it comes to women, also makeup and jewelry - determines 55% of the first impression of a person. Therefore, what impression we make on others depends on the correct attitude to our own appearance. The next 38% of first impressions are our demeanor - body language: facial expressions and gestures, gait and posture, intonation and eye contact. What you know or talk about is only 7%. Surprisingly, this is how people perceive each other.
Changing your image is not easy. Some people seem to grow into their image. They get used to their hairstyles and glasses, suit and boots. Changing habits is always stressful. And the more we change, the higher the stress level.
Developing a style is no less difficult than painting a painting. Not everyone can paint a picture. But all people can easily judge which clothes suit to whom. Uncritically following other people's recommendations, you can dress completely tasteless and make a miserable impression.
Many people say that a certain thing suits you, just to say something nice to you. Sellers say this to hand you their product. Parents say this to their children in order to make them wear existing things and not spend money on buying new ones.
Therefore, be careful, relying on someone else's taste, better develop your own. And if you do not have time for this, contact a professional. One consultation from a good make-up artist - and you will receive answers to all questions about your appearance. In general, in such a matter as changing the image, the help of professionals can be very useful.
The stylist will work out your look from the frames for glasses to the style of the scarf, from the makeup to the color of the mobile phone. You will not recognize yourself! And your friends won't recognize you! It will be great. If so, you've found a master. Just keep in mind two important points.
1. Don't rely on your own taste. It is less developed than that of the master. Do not cling to your habits, to the way your mother dressed you. It all sucks. Once you have come to a professional, let them completely remake you. If you want to later, go back to the previous style. Easily. Just vilify the new image for at least a week, feel how it sits on you, how the attitude towards you has changed. And only then decide whether to go back to the old.
2. You can do this: today - a scarf, on Friday - a blouse, a year later - boots … But it is better to update immediately, at a time. Come to the stylist with the money you are willing to spend on yourself. Straightaway! The effect will be completely different for you and for those around you.
Otherwise, no one will simply notice the change. And you yourself, too, will not notice or feel anything, and you will remain in a bad mood as before.
Don't mix styles: don't wear trainers with a business suit and evening shoes with shorts and a T-shirt. It's funny, but you're not a circus clown. There should be no holes in your image. For example, you are all dressed up and dressed up, but at the same time you have (to choose from): dirty shoes, smelly socks, knotted laces … These signs will stand out in bright flags against the background of your superimage.
Do not get carried away with fakes. A cheap wallet with big Hugo Boss letters will add nothing to your image. The aliai Mercedes keychain will look ridiculous if you drive a “penny”. Everyone will understand that you want to look cooler than you can afford, which means that you are poor.
There are tons of beauty salons, stylists, and image books. Take advantage of them. And you will succeed.
Non-verbal communication
Posture - slim and fit. Gait - smooth or rapid. The pose is imposing or interested. But not twisted or shriveled. The look is languid or piercing, calling or contemptuous. A smile - friendly, condescending, or whatever happens there. Gestures are calm or, conversely, impetuous. Speech is fluid or passionate. The intonation is of your choice.
In general, we are talking about the fact that the body is an instrument with which we express our feelings, desires, attitude towards people, the world and ourselves. This tool can be controlled, of course, not as sophisticated as professional actors and actors, but still …
The body should tell people exactly what you want to say, and not mislead them and not reveal your secrets. In general, a person's confidence and attitude towards himself is judged primarily by his non-verbal manifestations: posture, facial expression, look, intonation.
So work out your body language: facial expressions, gestures, gait. These traits define 33% of the first impression you make on others. You can enroll in acting classes. Or use a body language book to get you started, then observe yourself and consciously change your non-verbal behavior to make the impression you want. It's good if your friends tell you what about your non-verbal behavior, in their opinion, is not good for you.
Learn to speak beautifully. People communicate using speech. The way a person uses speech speaks of his intelligence and culture. In turn, intonation allows others to know about your feelings. Therefore, improve the culture of speech, work on its intonation characteristics. This can be done in rhetoric courses.
Good manners
If it seems to you that you are biting the cutlet from the wrong side or you are holding the lady in the dance for the wrong place, go to the bookstore for the thickest book about etiquette. Read it three times and memorize it (just kidding). Then there will be no need to doubt anything, you will just know how it is accepted and how not. Actually, etiquette is not that important. Would be a good man!
Your desires
What does this mean? Every person has unfulfilled desires. There are those that you just want to implement, and then live as you lived. Visit Paris. Переспать с негром. Cross the ocean by boat. There are others who will come true if something changes in our daily life. This may be, for example, the desire to make a fireplace at home and bask in the fire every evening. Or get a dog, but only mom is against it. Or go to a restaurant once a week. Almost everyone also wants to learn something - to paint landscapes, play the trumpet …
Ideally, as soon as a desire is formed, a person realizes it: he goes to Paris, gets a dog, learns to draw. But this is not always the case. Very often people procrastinate. Because there is no money. Or time. Because somehow it is unreal. Or just laziness. They plan and dream, but desires remain desires. Then new ones appear, push the old ones aside, but they are not fulfilled either. Unfulfilled dreams like a lump accumulate in the soul, and a person eventually unlearns to want something strongly and passionately. And without this, life is not life, and you will not find the strength to do anything in yourself.
So make your dreams come true. Understand what is important to you and do it. Even if it costs a lot, even if no one else does it. By the way, then it will be easy for you to give in, to meet others halfway, because everything is in order with the most important things in your life. This means that in the little things you can not insist on your own.
Just keep in mind that everything that has been said is not specific instructions for changing the image and not a guide to procedures. Much has been written about these things, but here's the trouble: most people are rushing about with the idea of self-change, whether it be a new image or improvement, but they do not bring things to the end. They simply like to deceive themselves and others: how well they are working on themselves and how they are going to become beautiful, healthy and attractive. But they never do, because then there will be no reason to rush about with beautiful ideas and fantasies. Only one thing will remain - just to live, and many are afraid of this. Do not be afraid of life!
