There are often obstacles in life when you cannot get something or another person claims it. It could be a pie, a hundred bucks, a beauty …
* May I please …
* Would you mind?..
* Can I?..
Surely in childhood you were taught to say something like that. Ask permission for any reason. Perhaps your parents were worried about sticking your fingers in the grinder and your head in the microwave. Therefore, they were forced to ask permission.
But now you have grown up and now you know very well where and what you can poke in, and where you cannot. Well, at least approximately. And yet you still ask permission for any reason, and more often for no reason at all. And you think that you are being particularly polite. But in reality - it is extremely uncertain.
What does this mean for you?
First, a lot of people have a weird quirk. They love to refuse. Especially all sorts of officials, but not only them. For example, you are on the bus. Hot. You want to open the window. And, like a polite idiot, you address all passengers: "Do you mind if I open?" And there will definitely be someone who is against it. And you will not open the window, because you were not allowed. And if you did not ask, but simply opened it, you would breathe air. And everyone around would be grateful to you.
Refusing, such a person feels satisfaction. Simply because he rules, controls you, and you obey. He is the master and you are the servant. This happens very often. You ask - you are denied. Can? - It is forbidden! Excuse me? - I will not let it! Allow me? - No! When you hear this, you will no longer do what you wanted. It's hard to go against another person. Somehow impolite.
So don't ask permission. If you want to do something, just do it. If someone doesn't like it, you will be corrected. And you decide whether to take this wish into account or not. But they will ask you.
Secondly, constant "can" and "allow" irritate others. Imagine that you are at a table. May I have some salad? Can I have some more wine? Can I dry my hands? Can? Can? Can? So you will quickly get the owner. And he will no longer be glad that he invited you. Eat, drink, and dry up, since you've been invited.
Third, inappropriate "can I?" and "may I?" demonstrate your insecurity to everyone. And they are inappropriate in almost all cases, except for one thing: when you want to borrow something from someone - money or a thing. Otherwise, it turns out that you have stolen. And for this they can be imprisoned.
If you want to take a girl to the theater, do not ask: "Can I invite you?" Invite. And she will go. If you want to kiss, don't ask either.
Kiss, hug, and so on. If she doesn't like it, you will find out. But if you ask permission, you yourself create an opportunity for refusal, for "no", which you will not cross, otherwise rape will come out.
If you want to make a business, buy something somewhere and sell at a profit, do not ask anything or anyone. Otherwise, you will be bypassed at the turn. They will appropriate and implement your idea before you have time to swing. You will simply waste time instead of acting.
Give - take it. Don't give - take it anyway
Imagine you want something. For example, a pie on a plate (eat), a hundred-dollar bill that someone lost (grab and hide in your pocket), a beauty on the beach (think for yourself). And suddenly, as if by magic, some type appears nearby who wants exactly the same thing: eat, grab … And now - a question. Who will get it? Pie, hundred bucks, pretty …
Here are the options.
1. This type.
2. To you.
3. Of course you!
The correct answer is number 3. Of course you! Who else? There are so many different types around. You can't get enough of all the pies. And I want to eat.
This is all a joke. And at the same time, many are afraid to take. Just take, grab and appropriate what lies by itself and is waiting for its master. Your eater or gentleman. You, like any person, want a lot. And you can get it in only one way: from the world around you. Everything you need is there. And there are two ways to get it.
The first way. You pay money and they give it to you.
Simple and stress-free. The main thing is to have more money. But here's the catch: not everything can be bought. The most commonplace: a seat on the bus - you need to take it. Further, a lover or mistress - they need to be seduced. Although you can pay a prostitute. Also - a lucrative position. Here you need to outplay your competitor. An example for generals: fortresses and lands. They are captured, knocking out enemies. A final example: money itself. They are not bought, but earned or lured out and taken from others.
The second way to get what you want is to just take it. And that's all.
It seems that taking is easy, but many do not know how. Some are shy, they lack determination. Indeed, often in order to take, one must show assertiveness, and even arrogance. Demand a salary increase or debt repayment. Take a seat in transport or in the bed of someone you like. Others want little. So, they don't want to take it. Most often, they artificially limit their needs, suppress their desires, then that they do not believe that they can improve their lives. Such people need to learn to want.
The ability to take, appropriate, use, devour is very important. Even if there is an abundance of food, beautiful things, sexual partners, opportunities for entertainment around you, you may well remain hungry and dissatisfied if you are so lazy and indecisive that you cannot reach out and grab what you want. Nobody will do it for you. Therefore, systematically learn to take.
How? Yes, simple. Just take what you want. Money. Things. Lovers. Pleasure. Often it lies completely without the owner, sometimes it goes into your hands. So don't refuse. Take it. There won't be many. You will digest everything and want more. Appetite comes with eating.
How often do you make yourself happy? And what are you doing for this? What can please you? Delicious exotic food? Good wine? Traveling to the other end of the world?
All this requires money, and more often than not a lot. Therefore, many people rigidly deny themselves pleasure. They do not want to spend money, they believe that they can do without it … And as a result, their life becomes boring and joyless.
It becomes unclear why such people live at all. To work, to eat away the crumbs earned, to work again … If you look closely, it turns out that such people do not strive for anything more. They are lazy and lacking in initiative. They are not capable of anything other than the daily chores of the household and at work. Their life is a miserable existence. Their joys: TV, reading matter, alcohol - crude, primitive and cheap. However, this is their normal state, they feel good in it.
The fact is that such people do not know how to experience pure, uncomplicated joy. No matter what happens to them, no matter what pleasure life gives them, they constantly think and calculate how much money they have spent and how much is left, for how many days they will still be enough, they scold themselves for having spent, and others for what that put them into a waste. In fact, no one and nothing can please such people. They themselves will poison everything, and so will others.
Some say that joys should be sublime and spiritual: from contemplating a picture, listening to good music, admiring nature … And all other pleasures are base, primitive and crude. And such people consider themselves highly cultured, noble and towering above everything vulgar.
And the truth is that such "elevators" simply have not seen anything in their lives. They are too lazy to work for this, and sanctimoniously deny the value of what is not available to them.
Make yourself happy. First of all, understand what gives you joy and pleasure. What exactly do you want? Give yourself thirty minutes to dream. Write down everything that comes to your mind. And make it a rule to give yourself at least one joy every week. Even though it costs money. Despite the fact that you can do without it. No matter what.
After all, you live to rejoice!
