We are too different and do not understand the peculiarities of relationships with the opposite sex. 10 relationship secrets that a man and a woman should know about each other.
First secret:
1. A man and a woman are looking for attention to themselves in a relationship. Any dissatisfaction in a relationship arises from the fact that one of the parties receives less attention from a partner.
It may seem that the relationship is breaking down due to a complex nature, bad habits, obscene acts of one or both partners, but if partners give attention to each other, these reasons cannot lead to a breakup.
But when one partner stops giving attention to the other, then a battle begins in which there is a place for all negative feelings.
A man and a woman operate with attention differently. The idea was taken from Yuri Subordin:
There are actually two attentions. The feminine form of attention, when a person fully listens to the interlocutor, i.e. without resistance perceives the image transmitted to him by the interlocutor, and the male form of attention is involvement in some process. In this case, the person is fully involved, and is not distracted by anything else.
A man longs for a woman to fully listen to him, opening her mouth and agreeing with all his arguments. I accepted his information unconditionally. In other words, she showed a feminine form of attention to him. This is roughly how a man expects a woman to be always ready to have sex with him.
And in order for the woman to listen to him, the man uses his technique of handling attention. He involves her (or those in whom he is interested) in the process of forming new impressions so that she (they) open up and begin to listen.
A man in a relationship always sets the direction, i.e. invites you to show interest in something new, where, in his opinion, new impressions can arise and thus they will begin to listen to him.
A woman who does not support a man for a long time in his involvement becomes a source of discomfort for him and gradually he stops winning her attention.
A man who stops involving a woman in the sphere of his interests, does not give her new impressions, causes disappointment in her.
A woman considers a man weak who could not convince her to listen to him, a man considers a woman who is not involved in his proposals to be a bitch.
However, if attention and involvement have existed in the relationship between a man and a woman for at least some time, a connection arises that lives on its own and is the Second Secret.
Second secret:
2. Between a man and a woman there is a channel of relations, a sensual connection. When the relationship is broken, the bond remains and causes suffering for one side and pumping energy for the other. While the connection exists, the partners alternately change the direction of the movement of energy along this channel. Consequently, now one, now the second feels better or worse than the partner.
Any relationship is a kind of energy exchange process, and feelings, emotions, behavioral features are a consequence of it.
The fact that a relationship can be represented in the form of a pipe between a man and a woman, through which feelings and emotions are pumped from one partner to another, greatly simplifies the explanation why, when a relationship breaks up, one of the partners is bad, and the other, as they say, goes into the hands of luck. …
Link, pipe, tie - call it what you want. It is not visible, but there is a feeling of discomfort. As you cannot see the waves that come to your mobile phone, but the sound in the receiver is a reality.
Many of you have often experienced long, exhausting periods of poor health, when you wanted at least a little support from your partner in the form of an SMS, a call or a warm word.
But from there there was no sound, no movement.
And when do you hear rumors that your partner is lucky ?! Inside, resentment, revenge, the desire to tear and toss are beginning to boil!
What to do?
A) Realize that your connection is an independent unit of the Universe. Just like the pipe of your vacuum cleaner. There is a pipe and it is attached to you. A pipe connection will always be looking for a moment to let you know about itself. For this, the pipe will cause negative feelings and an outflow of energy.
B) After you have realized it, use the pipe for its intended purpose one last time. Take everything that belongs to you from your partner through it and give him everything that belongs to him. Thus, the need for a pipe will disappear. It will dissolve.
C) Thank your partner for being in your life. Give him a place in your heart.
C) Do you remember Mystery Zero? In this relationship, did you satisfy the need of your ancestors? If not, then the same partner will take the place of this partner.
So that the relationship does not come to rupture and suffering, you need to know about the Third Secret:
Third secret:
3. A man must divorce his mother before deciding to marry a woman.
A man always has his first woman. This is his mother.
As a boy, he is attached to her for the first twelve years of his life. Further, the connection weakens, but does it always break?
If a mother is a self-sufficient, mature person, she will easily let her son go into the world.
The mother passes her son into the hands of the father. Now the man is responsible for the man. This is how masculinity is passed from father to son.
But things are not always so smooth these days.
Often the mother herself remains a little Inner Girl, full of fear and mistrust. And then she cannot entrust her son to anyone else. Neither the father of the child, who may not have been around for a long time, nor even more so for the girl who has laid eyes on the most precious thing in her life.
The mother does not give freedom to her son, she decides everything for him. If only she knew that she was turning him into a Loser with her own hand!
But she does not want to know this - she is a Mother and loves her bloodline more than anyone else!
Subconsciously, she wants to be needed and in demand at least for him, because she feels like a complete Insignificance. And raises his own kind.
So what! - she will say. - As long as I live, he will be under my protection and fully provided.
I just want to ask: And when you are gone, will he also follow you into another world?
Mothers, please, the country needs men! Let them go - let them become Men! Love them for real, not out of fear for your tear-stained Inner Child.
Mom, in order for a man to remain in adulthood in the state of your ward, or even worse as a "psychological husband", he will have to drink. Only there, in a binge, he will be able to fulfill your parental message: "Do not grow!"
Men, do not marry until you divorce your mother. All the same, mom, as “the first and lawful”, will beat you off from your wife.
After a man divorces his mother and, according to the Bible, his wife cleaves to him, what is hidden in the Fourth Secret will arise:
The fourth secret:
4. A woman will always want to deprive a man of his masculinity so that he does not go to another.
Masculinity is the ability to penetrate into the unknown, into a world where nothing is known yet and where it is necessary to create order. The universe has placed this responsibility on men, forcing them to expand their masculinity by overcoming obstacles and unraveling the mysteries of nature.
A man should be involved in the new, master this new and bring prey, knowledge to the feet of his woman. To my wife or mother. (Let's assume that our man is already divorced and brings trophies to his wife).
This is how his masculinity grows.
And what about his woman? She is the Universe that wants to be studied by her man. She then reveals herself to him, then hides some of her secrets in order to arouse his interest in a new knowledge of himself.
And when he wants to start studying another universe, then at first confusion arises in it, and then resentment: “How? You have not yet known me! How can you study something else? I cannot forgive you for this!"
Seeing his mission - to learn new things, she offers him her “ideal solution”:
SIT AT HOME AND HUNT, LEARN FROM HERE!
So she deprives him of his masculinity, because now he cannot refuse her - there will be a scandal: “How? Do you want to cheat on me? Then get out for good!"
He agrees to stay close and slowly becomes her son, and she becomes his mother.
Their sexual relationship is fading away, but for her the main thing has been achieved - there is someone nearby who will always study and serve her Universe.
What is the way out of this stalemate? He's in the Fifth Secret:
Fifth mystery:
5. A man grows in status only on the love of his woman. He has two of these women: a mother and a wife. If a man does not grow in status, then there is no love for him.
What do all people want? That's right, development, growth!
Growth in human everyday life looks like a transition from one status to another.
To grow in status, you need resources, you need support. Who provides this support? The one who believes, the one who loves!
When a couple cannot move from their status to a higher rank for a long time, for example, for a long time it is impossible to save up for the expansion of living space, this means that the man, as a breadwinner and hunter, lacks strength. He needs support.
He can only get support from a woman who, by the power of her faith, will show him that he is strong and cool.
A man is not stronger than a woman. A man becomes stronger when a woman allows him to feel strong.
A woman is not weaker than a man. She just understands that her man needs to feel like a hero when he travels through the vastness of her as yet unexplored universe.
A woman is ready to give a man energy so that he is involved with his attention to her person, to her interests. A woman gives energy, let me remind you, through her attention and a feeling of love for a man.
On her love, he feels stronger and has the opportunity to grow in status in order to transfer this status to his woman (or mother).
As soon as a woman stops giving attention and love to a man, his growth in status stops. You can reproach a man a lot for the lack of growth and money, but the reason is in a woman who does not give him love.
What is love, learn from the Sixth Secret:
Sixth mystery:
6. Love is the desire to develop your partner. If your partner does not want your development, he does not love you.
Very often one can hear such statements: “Why do you need these books, trainings, seminars? Stay at home, take care of the children!"
What does the person saying this want to say? He asks to give him Attention.
If he receives a lot of Attention, but still continues to keep his partner in the “golden cage”, then he does not want his loved one to grow and develop.
Why, then, are these people around?
Because it is beneficial for both of them to remain wounded children and play the role of their dissatisfied ancestors:
One is the victim, the other is the executioner. One is insignificance, the other is superiority.
The one of the two who is in the position from above, in the position of superiority, is the wounded one, but hides this truth from himself. His strategy: in order not to feel your pain, you have to be cooler than others. Towering over the victims, I do not notice that I myself am as poor as they are.
This strategy leads him to a decision not to allow his partner to develop, otherwise the partner will escape from his bondage.
Will wake up, see that the path to freedom is open and run away!
But growth cannot be stopped, and then slowly, slowly, through his role as an executioner, a tyrant, the partner begins on his own, within the created "golden cage", to pull out her wounded Inner children from his victim.
The process is painful and it is enclosed in the Seventh Secret:
Seventh secret:
7. A man serves a woman with his every action, even negative: drunkenness, idleness, beatings. A man is a mirror of a woman, which reflects everything that she does not want to know about herself.
Even in the most difficult relationships, in the so-called dysfunctional families, a man and a woman serve each other. They are a mirror of what they themselves do not want to admit.
Two are always together, as long as they have something to give each other. And, perhaps, they give each other pain, humiliation, suffering. But they don't diverge. And there is only one reason: the history of ancestors.
Two repeat the story of their ancestors, showing their love not for a partner, but for an ancestor: grandmother, great-grandfather, or for the mother's aborted child.
I wrote a lot about this on the pages of my Blog, but now I just want to repeat an old thought with new words:
If you do not disagree with the one who does not develop you and makes you suffer, you, thanks to your tyrant, gradually realize and extract from yourself those wounded Inner Children that were created during the life of your ancestors.
It is a pity, but this is so … Thank the tyrant, because his family has the same stories as yours. Therefore, you and the couple.
Two are fighting for love, but you can only win if you know the Eighth Secret:
Eighth mystery:
8. In order for a man to defeat a woman, he needs to win the battle in her eyes; in order for a woman to defeat a man, she needs to lose to him.
The Taoists said: "A woman is wide, and a man is deep."
This means that a woman feels good when she can open her soul wide, wide, and for this she needs to allow herself to trust the world, to accept it, not wanting changes.
Such a state happens in the field, when you lie on the grass and let in the sky, sun, air, grass, goose bumps and sun. And everyone, everyone, everyone.
Feminine energy flows horizontally, it is like the Earth.
And the male energy is vertical, and the man feels great when, rising like a strong tree, penetrates deeply into the ground with its roots.
A man is powered by feminine energy, just as a tree is powered by earth.
In a relationship, if a woman rises above a man, she feels victory, but in the end she loses, because a tree under the ground means an earthquake.
At these moments, the woman is shaking like mountains during tremors and she feels a deeply hidden anxiety. With each victory over the tree men, anxiety grows and fatigue grows from this. Victories are no longer encouraging, because no one wants to settle on this land for a long time.
There are always few inhabitants in the mountains and they all ended up there for one reason: once their ancestors fled from mortal danger to these mountain gorges so that no one would find them there. This is how their descendants became highlanders. I myself am a mountaineer, so I can say so.
A woman who loses to a man is always a winner. Her energy is calm and flat. Many people join its territory and life is becoming more and more diverse.
Such a woman has many friends and assistants, because she does not shake with her energy those who decide to approach her open spaces.
She is now ready for new growth, which is revealed in the Ninth Secret:
Ninth secret:
9. A man dreams of turning his woman into a Queen, and a woman dreams of a ready-made King.
A woman is always looking for a Man-Teacher who can help her know herself. Her boundless Universe needs a person who will not pass by her various phenomena and can include all her feminine states: the Girl, the Mistress, the Mistress and the Queen.
Only the King is capable of this, and therefore she needs a strong man who has grown over his childhood fears and calmed the spirits of her ancestors.
And a man wants to be the creator of a woman, he is ready to create a Queen out of his woman himself, and therefore he so jealously listens to her words that she would like to learn somewhere, but not from him.
To transform a man into a King, a woman should give him royal attention and respectfully acknowledge his services to her.
He is the King, and the woman who creates in the man the state of the realized King is always happy and lives in harmony and abundance.
Every man understands this and in order to feel like a King, he must know the Tenth Secret:
Tenth mystery:
10. A man should understand that his intonation affects the state of a woman. After all, she loves with her ears. Therefore, a man should be able to love with his voice, taking care of his intonations.
Strong Man, King - one who can understand the feelings of a woman. Feelings are not words. They are like leaves in the wind. They tremble from the strong wind.
An ordinary man does not even assume that his words and intonations are the wind that can scare a woman. A woman can be so scared that she will hide and deny the man Attention.
And without her Attention, he stops growing in status.
Therefore, the King knows that the softer his voice, the faster his success.
The king gives warmth. The King is the Sun man, and the Queen is the flower enjoying the Sun and the gentle breeze.
