Perhaps your biggest problem is that you talk too much and listen too little. You have missed all the important life lessons that will help you be successful and happy.
"What? Does he want me to be silent ?!"
Yes I want to. Someone has to say that. If you are like most people, then most likely you say so much that you do not hear what others have to say to you. My father used to put it this way: "You broadcast when you need to listen." In other words, close your mouth for a minute and listen to me.
This may have been your biggest problem. You talked so much that you didn't even bother to shut up and listen. You have missed all the important life lessons.
Most of us are so busy running around aimlessly and staging the soap opera we call our lives that we don't hear anything. Louise Hay
In the New Testament, there is a story about how Jesus traveled in a fishing boat with his disciples. A strong wind began to blow, a storm began, and all the disciples decided that they would die. They woke Jesus up, complaining and crying, and he said to the sea, “Be quiet, stop it” (Mark 4:39). Then he turned to his disciples and began to talk to them about their faith. But first, he had to make the wind, waves and students subside.
When I was growing up, I was often told: "Hush!" I knew exactly what this phrase meant. In fact, the quieter word was shortened to sh-shshh. I bet you didn't know that. See, you are already learning something! When you hear the word quieter or just shhhh, you know to shut up. In general, I am sure that if those words of Christ were translated today, they would sound like this: “Quiet! Shut up! I'm going to teach you something."
This is exactly what I want to tell you. Shut up! I want to teach you something.
Be silent and listen
You cannot listen to someone and speak at the same time. This is simply not possible. But all the important information comes to us only when we are silent and listen. You cannot study while you chat. You can only learn when you are listening. When was the last time you were really silent and listened? I mean really listened? Try this for once. You will be surprised at what you hear. Jimi Hendrix once said, "Knowledge speaks and wisdom listens."
Listen to others
Stop and listen to your spouse, or another person close to you. I do not mean to listen to the sound of the TV. I mean to listen to the other when you stop, hold hands, look each other in the eyes and really listen. This special way of communication will take you to new heights in your relationship.
Take time for your children and listen to what they have to say. I once learned that, on average, each parent spends less than seven minutes a day in direct contact with their children. I know how difficult it is to communicate with your children. I experienced it. This is especially difficult when you are the parent of a teenager. Sometimes talking to you is the last thing he wants. It is usually much easier not to talk to them, because the most you can hear from them is monosyllabic mumbling in response to all your questions. Hard. Make them talk. Pull out of them by phrase and force them to communicate, if necessary. Both of my sons went through a period when they hated talking to me. It was very unpleasant for them, but I kept talking and made them listen to me. I made them talk and forced myself to listen, even when they said things that were hard for me to hear. For example, my son Tyler once told me that I should listen to my own speech. Ay-ay!
Most people believe that communication is primarily about speaking. But this is only a small part of the whole process. Listening is the main thing. Learn to listen to those you love.
Listen to your customers
The Earl of Nightingale said, "All the money you are about to take is in the hands of other people." In business, we call other people customers. They own the money. They share their money with us when we serve them well. One of the ways you can serve your customers is by listening to them.
You may say that you don't really have clients, but we all have clients. You may not call them clients, but you still have them. You can call them patients, employees, or audiences, but they are still your customers. Listen to them. They have all the information they need to be able to serve them, solve their problems, and make them happy. Do all of these and you will be rewarded.
Listen to those who know more than you
Someone knows more than you. You may find it hard to believe, but it is. And some of those who know more than you are willing to share information with you. Find them. Ask them for help. Do you know what happens if you ask? They will help. I am not kidding. Most people who are more knowledgeable are usually willing to help others, but many are simply hesitant to genuinely ask for help. Instead, they complain about how bad things are for them. This is very different from asking sincerely for information. Very few people ask for help, but even fewer people use the advice they receive. Don't be like that. When asked, apply the advice you were given. After all, you are asking someone who knows more than you. Don't miss this opportunity.
By the way, do you know how to understand that a person knows more than you? Look at its results. They never lie. If these results are better than yours, then that person really knows more. Or perhaps he is simply willing to do more than you. In any case, pay attention to this person.
Spend some time with people who are doing better than you. Watch them. Listen to them. Figure out what they are doing and then do the same. If you double your efforts, you will double your results. As my friend Joe Charbonneau said: "Do what the masters do, and you yourself will become a master."
Listen to the experts
You have a great opportunity to listen to many good speakers, teachers and books on audio cassettes, CDs, or get to know them on the Web. My best teachers came to me through audio recordings. The beauty of this method is that it is very convenient. There was always time on my schedule to listen to an audio tape or CD from my mentors. I could do this in the car, on the plane, in the office, or when I was relaxing in the pool. I once heard that in our entire lives we spend as much time driving as four PhDs in philosophy. You can use this time to learn anything: to succeed in business, become a leader, or a loving and understanding parent. Just name a problem and I will tell you that there is a special audio program to solve it. You can even learn how to lose weight by listening to audio recordings. The best way to lose weight, though, is to stop eating such a huge amount of food!
I have invested thousands of dollars in my audio library. This is one of my most valuable acquisitions. I am convinced that my audio library has had a greater impact on my life than any other teaching medium.
Listen to great music
It is difficult for me to be in complete silence. I wish things were different. I would like to sit in complete silence and meditate. I have friends who can do this, and they admit that it's great. But I can't do that. So I learned to listen to meditative music, music that can relax me, music that can inspire. Some pieces of music set me up for creativity, others help me fall asleep, and still others make me smile.
Go to a good music store and go to the esoteric and classical music departments. Pick some good instrumental music, turn on the stereo and enjoy.
I am not asking you to part with your favorite music. She also serves a good purpose. No one is going to make me give up Leon Russell, Elvis, Merl Haggard, Willie Nelson, Van Morrison or the amazing rock and roll of the 1950s, 1960s and early 1970s. I will never do that. Blues, classical, rock, country, esoteric and instrumental music (but not rap, I hate it) serve their purpose, and I love listening to a lot of these styles. Listen only to good music and learn to enjoy it.
Listen to your self
I do not mean that you have to talk to yourself and listen to yourself, you do it all the time. I'm talking about listening to your higher self. It knows what you should do. You can call this part of yourself your consciousness. You can call it your base.
It doesn't matter what you call it; all you have to do is listen to it. It is smarter than you. It is tuned to higher levels than you are. It knows! Try to do what your “I” tells you.
Listen to god
By the way, the higher self, which I just spoke about, is God. Truth. Some people feel uncomfortable thinking that they actually have a direct connection with God. But you have it. This wise inner voice that loves you, knows what to do, and wants the best for you, is God. He lives in everyone. The problem is that we don't listen to him. We are listening to a different voice. One that is full of doubt. This is not God. It is you.
Sometimes you shouldn't listen
“Wait, first you say that I have to listen, and now you tell me not to listen. Decide. Is there really something that I better not listen to?"
Yes. Just as there are those who are good to listen to, there are those who should not be listened to.
• Do not listen to a bankrupt person who tells you how to get rich.
• Don't listen to a fat smoking doctor who tells you how to get healthy.
• Don't listen to a loser who tells you how to succeed.
• Do not listen to a priest who declares you to be an insignificant sinner.
• Don't listen to someone who speaks badly of other people.
• Don't listen to office gossip.
• Do not listen to someone who interrupts you for any reason at any time.
• Don't listen to yourself when you say bad things about yourself.
This requires a separate explanation. I know that I advised you to listen to your self. This is true. But be very careful when you listen to it. No one will ever say worse about you than you about yourself. Do your best to control negative self-talk. When you find yourself thinking, "I can never do this," or "I'm not good enough at this," or "I'm so stupid," say to yourself, "STOP!" Replace negative thoughts about yourself with positive ones: "I can do this!" They will push you towards the desired result, not remove you from it.
“Everything is clear anyway! Not so much new. When will we get to something really useful? What's next?"
Are you ready for some really useful information? I'm almost there. You need to lay a good foundation to start with. Do not worry. You will soon feel uncomfortable. I will not disappoint you.
So what comes next? It's simple. Stop whining.
