Ten interesting psychological studies that will help you go the long way from "first sight" to "growing old together." What does every lover need to know?
The role of kissing in relationships, why spouses become more similar over time, what kills relationships, and much more. We bring to your attention ten psychological studies that will help you go the long way from “first sight” to “growing old together”.
“To love is not to look at each other, but to look together in the same direction” Antoine de Saint-Exupery.
1. To fall in love, 1/5 of a second is enough
Surprisingly, only 1/5 of a second is enough for a person to fall in love. During this time, the body begins to produce hormones that cause euphoria when you look at the subject of adoration.
For this, as it turned out, a short-lived process is responsible, no less, but 12 areas of our brain.
The brain releases a cocktail of so-called neurotransmitters into the bloodstream: oxytocin, dopamine, vasopressin, and adrenaline when you watch or just think about that very person. It turns out that the brain reacts to "love" in the same way as to a small dose of cocaine.
2. Love and sex drive are similar in nature
Studies have shown that "love" and "sex drive" activate very similar neural networks in the brain. These are the same areas that are responsible for emotions, motivation.
This finding suggests that sexual desire is little more than a basic instinct, as it includes motivation and emotion.
3. A kiss helps to make a choice
One of the criteria by which a person chooses a partner, as it turned out, is a kiss. According to the survey, women take kissing more seriously than men and agree that it is an effective way to "test" their new boyfriend.
A kiss is important not only at the very beginning of a relationship, it plays a big role in maintaining that relationship. According to the study, there is a definite relationship between the amount of kiss in people who have lived with each other for a long time and the quality of their relationship.
4. After 25 years of marriage, couples become similar to each other
It turns out that the couples who celebrated the silver wedding become similar to each other not only in habits, but also in appearance. This effect arises from many similar factors in the two partners: the same diet, the environment, a similar nature, or even a feeling of empathy for your partner.
5. Long-distance relationships are possible
Contrary to common sense, recent research has established the fact that long-distance relationships are indeed possible.
People who managed to keep their relationship at a distance were characterized by the following:
mutual trust that allows you to share the most intimate secrets;
idealizing a partner.
As a result, people separated by kilometers had the same level of satisfaction with their relationships as those in close proximity to each other.
6. Four things that will kill your relationship
Professor John Gottman has been researching family relationships for over 40 years.
He has observed couples for decades in an effort to identify the very type of behavior in a couple that will indicate whether the couple will stay together or not.
In his research, he came to the conclusion that any relationship can destroy 4 things: constant criticism of the partner, contempt and sarcasm, constant protection from the partner and opposing himself to him.
7. Modern marriage = psychological self-realization
It is no secret that the institution of marriage has undergone significant changes in recent years.
Previously, marriage was associated with a sense of security and reliability, while at the moment, marriage is more of a psychological self-realization.
To a large extent, people see marriage as a way to fulfill their desires and define themselves in this world. Unfortunately, often both partners, even realizing their own mistakes, do not pay enough attention to each other.
8. A sure way to save a marriage
If you feel a lack of tenderness, love and care, then watching a movie together can be an easy solution to this problem. The results of a recent study have shown that the divorce rate can be cut in half, after watching some melodrama, the spouses will discuss what they have seen and exchange opinions about the characters.
9. Relationships after divorce
With a divorce, especially in the presence of common children, the relationship between the former spouses does not cease to exist.
Scientists argue that relationships between divorced people can develop in one of 5 ways:
A broken duet where (usually) the father disappears.
Good pals, where the parents continue to be best friends.
Supportive colleagues, where former spouses go their own way, but support each other.
Angry partners where the fight continues after the divorce.
Ardent opponents, where children become pawns in the struggle between ex-spouses, and, as a result, suffer.
10. Important little things
We live in an extremely commercialized world where the idea that everything can be bought and sold, even love, does not scare anyone. Everything has its own price - this is the dominant idea of today. But do not forget that seemingly unimportant little things play just the first violin in the orchestra of family relations. 4 thousand Britons, who took part in an amusing experiment, confirmed this idea: a little attention and care will do more than you thought.
Bring a cup of hot tea to bed, take out the trash on time, or compliment your partner's figure and see that such a seemingly small thing will work better and faster than chocolate or a bouquet of flowers.
Although, I must admit, neither chocolate nor bouquet will harm the relationship!