Which sexual fantasies are common and which are not typical and bizarre? What do men and women fantasize about in sex? Classification of sex drives and fantasy.
Women are more likely to imagine strangers, men - women they know, but not wives, and they would rather like to make their "hot dreams" come true.
The American Psychiatric Classifier uses the expression "abnormal sexual fantasies" to define sex drive disorders, and the word "unusual" appears in WHO documents. Psychologists from two academic institutions in the structure of the University of Montreal (Canada) considered that this was not enough and tried to find out which erotic fantasies are, in fact, common and frequent and which are rare and unusual. The study * was led by Dr. Christian Joyal, and the results are published in The Journal of Sexual Medicine.
799 men and 718 women from Quebec took part in the online survey, the average age of the respondents is 30 years old, 86, 1% of them identify themselves as heterosexual, 3, 6% - gays and lesbians, the rest are more or less bisexual.
They were asked to evaluate on a 7-point scale, ranging from “strongly disagree” to “totally agree”, 55 statements, constructed according to the scheme “I happened to fantasize about …”. If a particular story received an assessment of 3 points or more from the respondent, it was believed that he had such a fantasy, this made it possible to judge its prevalence. In addition, the authors separately selected the top "favorite" fantasies, that is, more often than others awarded the highest score.
"Favorite" and at the same time the most frequent fantasy among women turned out to be sex in some special or unusual place, followed by sex with a stranger, and group sex closes the "three leaders". The favorites among men, with little difference in numbers, are anal sex in the receiving role, oral sex in the receiving role, and fantasies associated with the place. Group sex is in fourth place, and the percentage of men who like to imagine such scenes is almost equal to the percentage of women. However, they have different ideas about "dream-team" - about the ideal composition of participants in fictional orgies.
BDSM-related plots are quite widespread, that is, eroticized violence and pain in a game context. Predictably, women in such scenes prefer submission, men - a dominant role. The question about rape fantasies was not directly asked, but was asked about forced sex, and its rating is about the same as that of other imaginary BDSM practitioners.
Among the "atypical" fantasies, that is, those that at least occasionally visit less than 15% of respondents - sex with a prostitute, humiliation of a partner under the influence of psychoactive substances, "golden shower" (urinating on a partner) and sex with dressing of the other sex. The rarest fantasy, fortunately, turned out to be sex with a young child, who, even in his thoughts, allows only an insignificant minority, as well as sex with animals.
While there are, of course, gender differences on each item, two are the most curious. Firstly, the hero of erotic dreams in women is either their intimate partner, or a stranger, a fictional character. Men are aroused by the images of specific women, but not of those with whom they actually share the bed, but of acquaintances or "stars". Secondly, men more often would like to realize their fantasies in practice, while women better understand the difference between fictional and real and are not inclined to confuse the two layers of existence.
Finally, Christian Joyeal himself found the most intriguing fantasies that are widespread only among men, namely anal sex in the receiving role, watching a partner who has sex with another man, and sex with a "shemale", that is, transgender with external sexual characteristics and men and women. These fantasies cannot be explained in terms of evolutionary biology, Johaill said.
* S. Joyal, A. Cossette, and V. Lapierre “What exactly is an unusual sexual fantasy?”, The Journal of Sexual Medicine, October 2014.