Lust, respect, habit, envy, a desire to get even and much more are often mistaken for love. Relationships should be as simple as two kopecks, because love cannot be calculated.
- Relationships that have a chance of being long-term do not have to be complex by definition. Well, how long is a person able to endure the brain for himself and others in a non-stop mode? Well, six months, a year, in especially neglected cases - a couple of years. And then he finally gets everyone and the audience leaves the auditorium in mournful silence, leaving the hero alone to sweat on the stage under the heat of the spotlights.
The so-called difficult relationship, all these "come and go" and many hours of talk about high - this is, sorry, from excess free time. This is a wrong relationship. Seriously. It's like walking into a car dealership and wanting a Bentley, even though your budget is enough for the first installment for a basic ass at best. You can come to this salon for years, but all that shines for you "is the same" asshole ". You will say that the Bentley is the only thing that suits you, you will bite the skull of all your family and friends, you will make a mournful face and wring your hands, you will ruin your life, you will raise suffering into a fetish, but you will never think that all you need is a sturdy, reliable workhorse with air conditioning, a clean interior, and the right rubber to get you from A to B.
Relationships should be as simple as a penny. It doesn't matter whether he is a genius physicist or a simple Vasya the milling machine operator, it doesn't matter what education he has, how many languages he speaks, how many women he has and whether he writes good poetry, the only important thing is how comfortable you are with him. If he brings you to depression, if you are no less shitty with him than without him, if you know that nothing will shine for you with him, if he takes out your brain, if he loves all these phrases: “I'm not ready”, or “We need to wait,” or “I need to think,” or “This is so difficult,” send it. Whether you really loved him or was it just a whim - you will only understand much later, so you have absolutely nothing to lose.
Love is generally an indefinable state, often mistaken for love, lust, respect, habit, envy, a desire to get even and much more. You gain nothing from a "difficult" relationship but a headache. If you need it, this headache, if you cannot live without it, find the courage to admit that you do not need this particular man, but the headache that you get with him. And learn how to extract a headache from a more productive relationship, just warn the p-a-in-and-l-b-n-o-g-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-g-o-o-o-o-o-o-g-o-o-o-g-o-o-o-g-o-o-o-man that on Wednesdays and Saturdays you are a uniform bitch, let him prepare in advance.
Over and over again: Keep the relationship simple. After all, you have to give birth to children with this person, run a household, build plans, visit, communicate with relatives and in general lead the most primitive philistine way of life. And if you think that this cup will pass by you, you are soooooo very much mistaken.
How does it happen?
At first, we need a tall, slender, handsome, intelligent, rich, promising, sexy, romantic, and only much later do we understand - we ALL understand - that we just need a person who can be relied on, who will not be there when his head has the right jump. And always. Always, do you understand? Therefore, reliability is an extremely important quality.
He will help you in the MOST difficult moments of life, when well, a complete ass and, a step to the right, a step to the left, are cranks. Therefore, responsibility is also an extremely important quality.
You will want to share with him your joy and sadness, victories and defeats, dreams and fears, so the ability to empathize is generally kapets how important.
You will study him up and down, you will understand each other perfectly, you will end up rubbing shoulders with each other like gears sharpened on a super mega-extractor, you will continue to scandal and put up, because he is still not you, this is a different person, though he and sharpened under you as well as you under him. Therefore, tolerance is simply not possible without it.
And you will constantly yield to each other a part of yourself, bit by bit biting off your bachelor habits, this is the fashionable word "compromise" today, so flexibility is also very, very important.
And you will make important decisions, together and separately, decisions that are quite capable of changing your current way of life, so without trust - well, just nothing at all.
Think about it, when you were 20, you didn't think about anything, did you? You wanted him to dashingly drive up to you in a super car, give flowers and kiss you beautifully right on the lips. And so that you admire his stunningly beautiful eyes and generally would be like in the picture. So, in fact, all this does not matter even once. I don't care if he is handsome or not, tall or short, slender or plump, fluffy or stutterer. All you need from him is the realization that you are with this person in fire, in water, and in copper pipes, and that when he is near, you feel very good. And that WITHOUT him, you goraaaaazdo shittier than with him.
And, I assure you, when you look back in 20 years, when you are still touched, measuring his temperature and helping to write his will, although he only sneezed once, and when you finally stop having intimate conversations “Where are we going "Because you have ALREADY come where you need to, this is what love will be. Love - it is not calculated in advance. Never.
And all these "difficult" relationships - well, damn it, well, go to macrame courses, or something. Or help the orphans. Leave your poor brain alone, its mouth is full even without you.