Where to study, work, whom to marry? We constantly have to choose our path in life. Of two evils, you can always choose the lesser, and of the good options, the best.
Any behavior is a choice of the best option available at the moment.
Advocate to your client:
- The best thing in your situation will be to go to your wife and make up.
- I wonder what will be the worst?
It's not a secret for anyone that, walking through life, we periodically find ourselves in the "points of choice." At these points, we are forced to make decisions, to one degree or another, determining our future.
My years are growing
will be seventeen.
Where do I work then
What to do?
Where to work? Who to study for? Who to marry? And the further you go in life, the more you have to choose. It is clear that the breadth of choice is determined by our capabilities. Great opportunities - a wide choice. Modest opportunities … In general, we choose from what is. Best available.
Mr. Brown is indignant:
- It's just immoral to look for a life friend using a computer.
- How did you meet your mother? His son asks.
- Okay, won poker.
An elderly Japanese woman admitted:
- I am very pleased that my parents chose my husband. You see, I would have died from the thought that I chose him myself.
But this is understandable. In fact, this presupposition contains a much stronger statement. It states that any behavior is a choice of the best option available at the moment. This means that each time before we do something, we choose exactly these actions. Naturally, from what is.
- What is the peculiarity of a one-way street?
- The fact that you can crash into another car only from behind.
How do we manage not to go crazy, constantly solving optimization problems with a lot of parameters in our minds? Very simple. We consciously solve only a very small range of tasks. The rest is decided by our subconscious. Selects from automatic and very familiar reactions.
- Mom, the mouse jumped into a can of milk!
- Did you get her out?
- No, but I threw the cat in there.
Remember that positive intention is at the heart of all behavior. Here is another answer to the question: "Why is negative behavior possible with a positive intention?" There was just a choice between bad and very bad.
Somehow, Comrade Stalin, the leader of all nations, watched another movie before its release to the masses. After watching, Stalin lit his pipe, puffed and finally uttered:
- And what is the mustache of the main villain, like Comrade Stalin? Is this a conspiracy? Comrade Beria, shoot the actor, make-up artist, screenwriter and director.
- There is!
Scared to death director:
- Maybe we just shave his mustache?
- … Or so.
As you can see, if you add a new variation, the behavior can change significantly. I want to warn you right away: instead of rushing to others with your advice, take care of yourself. Look for new alternatives for your behavior. Develop your own behavioral flexibility. In cybernetics, there is such a law: "In any system consisting of people or machines, the element with the greatest variability will be the controlling one." And here's an illustration.
A crocodile swims along the Nile River. Floats and dies of boredom. Suddenly he sees: a monkey is hanging on a palm tree and eating a banana. “Give,” he thinks, “I'll make fun of her. I ask if she is married? If the answer is yes, I will ask, who took her monkey? If not, who will marry her monkey? " Swims up and asks with a kind of grin:
- Monkey, are you married?
- You will come out here when only crocodiles are swimming around!
The question naturally arises: "How many options will be the minimum sufficient?" Let's figure it out. We always have one response option.
- What can you do?
- I can dig.
- And what else?
- I can not dig.
This situation is called linear choice and is well illustrated by the classic: "To be or not to be?" Adding one more alternative creates a dilemma. Here again we do not select anything. Having abandoned one option, we immediately fall into the power of another.
The head of the joint venture calls the employee:
- Tomorrow you are leaving on a business trip to Canada. How do you feel about Canadians?
- I believe that only hockey players and prostitutes live in Canada.
- But, but, be careful! My wife is Canadian!
- Yes?! And what team does she play on?
Only when we have three independent alternatives do we finally find ourselves in a situation of choice. Now we can really choose. Now our behavior is almost impossible to predict.
And finally: for successful adaptation, the level of flexibility of a system element must be proportional to the variability of the rest of the system. Translated into human language, this means that under constantly changing external conditions, the one who knows how to adapt to these changes feels best. The one with the most behavioral flexibility.
• People around you are much more friendly than it might seem at first glance. Take a closer look and see.
• In addition, calibration will help you to collect information about the state of the interlocutor. You know: mind and body are parts of a single cybernetic system. By the way, do you still remember that you can influence your own mood?
• Memory itself is a solid resource. And you can always use it. All our life experiences are encoded in our nervous system. Remember how many different people have taken care of you since birth.
• See how many talented people there are in this world! All this can be learned, because subjective experience is determined by five systems of perception: visual, auditory, tactile, gustatory and olfactory. Secretly: psychic too.
• The meaning of a message is in the reaction it evokes. You have received a message. Now it depends only on you how to react to it.
• Information is one of the most important resources. The Universe gives it to you constantly and with unprecedented generosity. There are no failures, only feedback. Take full advantage of it
• Sometimes people around you gave you unpleasant moments. But remember that all behavior is based on a positive intention, it is related to the original environment. They just haven't learned how to make friends properly. Help them.
• Any behavior is a choice of the best option available at the moment. In fact, there is an endless variety of options available to you. It remains only to include them in the repertoire of their own choices.
• Everyone has all the resources they need.
• And again: the Universe is a friendly environment, abundant in resources. Neuro-linguistic programming allows you to learn how to harmoniously interact with yourself and the Universe. It does not heal, it teaches. It opens up many prospects for development, because the most important thing is already clear: you can be friends with the Universe.