When you feel that you are being treated unfairly, you can immediately come to terms with the injustice. No fight. But maybe it is better to defend your right to be a man and not a beast?
It's easy to be a victim. All that is required for this is to immediately swallow and throw up his hands: "What can I do?" Admitting your powerlessness in the face of circumstances, without trying to change them.
The opinion that there is a way out of any situation is wrong. Everyone may find themselves in a situation that they are unable to change. Not because he does not want to see a way out of it, but because there is simply no way out. As there are rooms in the world without doors, so there are situations in it from which there is no way out.
Incurable disease. Tsunami that is coming at you. Explosion wave. Or - less banal, but no less scary - the execution of an innocent person due to a miscarriage of justice.
Imagine a person who is accused of terrible crimes, but he did not commit them. What thoughts are wandering in his head while he is in jail? Something like this: “What does my wife think of me? My friends? Can't the court figure it out? Can not be! It's not my fault."
Such a person sits during interrogation by the investigator, says something to him, but he does not hear him. In this situation, it is useless to appeal to the pity of the investigator, to his common sense. The investigator needs to tick the box. They put pressure on him from above: “Find the criminal! Close the case! " For such an investigator, you are just a statistic, a surname in a criminal case.
And this "statistics" is sitting, which, in fact, a person thinks: "Everyone turned their backs on me: wife, children, friends, parents. They point the finger at my loved ones. They are suffering. And I am suffering. But I haven't done anything."
Then the person is taken to be shot, and he knows that he is not to blame. How does he feel? Can you imagine? And I will say that: powerlessness and despair in front of the monstrous injustice that he faced.
From one attempt to get used to the skin of such a person, I feel very uncomfortable. The man fell under the roller of the judicial system, and she killed him. Then, most likely, she apologized and rehabilitated, but could not return his life.
Did the man have a way out when he was led down a narrow corridor to be shot? When did you enter a small, windowless, rubber-paneled room? Could a person, having changed something at the last moment, stay alive?
No. The person felt powerless in the face of circumstances, and it was objective.
Consider another situation: a family relationship where the husband can hit his wife.
I know a woman who gets punches from her husband from time to time. Outwardly, she is absolutely safe: she has parents, work, housing. She has where to live, and has something to live on, separately from her husband. And, nevertheless, it allows you to raise your hand.
- Why do you put up with it? I asked.
- What should I do? she replied.
- You have wealthy parents. There is an apartment and a good education. What for? Do you have a sick love for him, or what?
- No, I don't like him. But what will I tell my parents if we get divorced? I have no other choice, do you understand?
One hundred percent prosperous, the young woman prefers to weep and endure. And he doesn't even try to change anything.
Why? Because it’s easier to endure. If she continues to swallow resentments, she will not have to answer uncomfortable questions from her parents. You don't have to move somewhere and go through an unpleasant divorce procedure. You don't have to get your ass off the couch and dust off your diploma and look for a job and a new husband. That's why he endures that he doesn't want to go through all this.
Does this woman, in contrast to the one sentenced to death or terminally ill, have another way out? Of course there is, and it's obvious. But the woman does not want to leave the tight, stuffy, but still soft cocoon of the victim.
Being a victim is like spending your whole life in the womb. You were born, your brain turned on, but you refuse to go out into the world: you sit in your mother's belly. You are relatively safe there, relatively comfortable, but the main thing is that you do not have to be responsible for your life, for your actions, for your choice. Victims deliberately give up their choice.
Imagine the queue at the clinic. For example, to the lore. People sat at the door for an hour and a half. At the same time, every 20 minutes in the office, bypassing the queue, someone "own", a thug enters. With the wording: "The doctor told me to skip the line." And people tolerate it.
I never endure.
Once you behave like a victim, that is, admit your powerlessness in a situation without trying to change it, there will be a lot of such situations in life. They will go through your only, precious life with metastases, killing joy, hope, faith in yourself, people and even Gd.
When I see some thug, with his nose raised, trying to bypass me in line, I go into the office with him, look into the eyes of the “cheerleader” and ask: “On what basis is he walking in front of me?”
I have heard different answers. More often than not, they made my life difficult. For example, having defended my right to receive medical care in the order of the queue, in which thieves are on a par with me, I received poor-quality treatment. Well, what doctor would try for the one who poked his nose in the shit? I had to go to another doctor, wasting time and nerves.
Wasted time and nerves are always a way out of your comfort zone. However, I prefer to get out of it, but remain human at the same time, than to sit there spat upon by cattle.
When you feel that you are being treated unfairly, you can immediately come to terms with the injustice. No fight. In this case, you do not have to waste time or nerves. But know: having once tried on the victim's skin, it is very difficult to tear it off from yourself.
And the worst thing, you know what? At first, you will think that you have been wronged even though you do not deserve it. However, over time, you yourself will believe that you are worthy of a bestial attitude towards yourself, and you will justify those who treat you disrespectfully.
You will say about yourself: "I have no other choice." But in the same way you will say about your offenders: “They have no other choice. I, in principle, understand them."
So you will talk about husbands or wives who offend you. About doctors with extensive family ties. About investigators who are under pressure from above. About Fedorovs with their Volodchenkas and Ganichs. You will justify yourself as a victim. And you will justify those who make you feel like her.
What is the greatest horror and shame of the victim's behavior? In the fact that, having allowed himself to be pissed, the victim justifies those who have pissed by the fact that they really wanted to “pee”. Well, they couldn't help but urinate! Well, it's not their own pants to piss in, after all!
Yes, I'm exaggerating. But know: whenever you swallow an unfair attitude towards yourself, without trying to change anything, you give yourself a piss. And the more you let yourself be pissed, the more piss on you. And you just have to stink of someone else's urine.
Victims have a special scent. They smell like fear, powerlessness and lack of self-respect. And there is no stench in the world more sickening than this.
Don't be a victim, my dears. Never. Under no circumstances. Always defend your right to be a human, not a brute. You are born human. You did not come into this world to be pissed on here. This is not your mission.
If something is wrong with you, be sure to try to do something about it. Let you waste time and nerves. Even if it doesn't work out. But by your actions, you will break the inertia of the system and will not enter the victim's circle - the place where they will urinate on you.
You will remain human, and this will be your greatest victory in life. No money, no comfort, no ambition and no feelings are worth allowing someone to piss on for their sake.
We came to this world as human beings. Try to by the time people leave it and stay. Few succeed in this, in fact. Most flush life down the toilet, living it crawling on all fours. In a state of beast. And even if under your knees is the expensive parquet floor of a high-ranking office, you are still a brute, since you can feel the floor on your knees.
The one who understands that he came into this world not to be pissed on here, and retains a person in himself, always receives a hand from above. Anyone who has fucked up a person in himself is swimming alone in someone else's urine.
What do you choose?
Have you had situations in which you behaved like a victim? How did they end?