Tired of the fragile modern relationship, it's time to remember about patriarchy. The effectiveness of this form of relationship has been tested by time! We build relationships according to the principle - the man is in charge!
I thought it would be nice to describe my experience, the experience of older comrades, father, grandfather, which they passed on to me, and the experience of my peers who decided to arrange their family according to the principle that the man is in charge!
The post is for informational purposes only for those who realized that the options "henpecked" and "equal partner" in terms of family formation are not for them.
I will try to write my point of view, criticism and comments are welcome.
1. So what is patriarchy? The patriarch (literally, the power of the father, also andrarchy, androcracy) is a form of social organization in which a man is the main bearer of political power and moral authority, exercises control over property, and fathers in families have power over women and children. Patriarchy is characterized by the presence of institutions of male power and male privileges, as well as the subordination of women. Many patriarchal societies are also patrilineal, that is, property and social status are inherited through the paternal line. (via wiki)
Patriarchy as a family structure is a traditional form of a social unit throughout the entire existence of mankind; it is characteristic of almost the entire population of the earth, the main religions and state structures. But at the moment we live in a world with broad rights of women and the institution of patriarchy is losing its position. Of course, in its classical version, it is practically impossible in civilized countries - including Russia. Therefore, it needs to be adapted to modern realities.
For a young man, of course, he wants to see a gorgeous porn star next to him, but someone may decide that he needs a gray mouse - this is not so. Everything is quite simple, you need to look for a girl who is ready to live with you in a family according to your rules. Usually, very beautiful ladies are very spoiled by the age of 18-20 and try to use their holes instead of visa gold, and their self-esteem the size of a galaxy will not allow you to create a worthy wife out of her. Such - to the forest. We also sweep aside the clogged young ladies with zero self-esteem, because they turn into a helpless child next to a strong man, and this does not suit us. We are looking for the keeper of the hearth and the mother of our children, not a mute creature with the rights of a dog. You need to look for a middle ground.
You need to clearly understand what is important to you in a woman and make a list. But in order to create a family according to the principle of patriarchy, it must necessarily have the following qualities:
1) The desire to be a housewife (may not be able to cook - the main thing is the desire itself)
2) Be independent (no friendships until death with mom)
3) Should not be very smart (a lively mind will not let her deal only with home and family)
4) She must love you very much (this is not necessary for you)
5) She must be a girl with a capital letter, no boyish manners.
The order for an example is as follows. Morning. The wife gets up 25-30 minutes earlier than her husband - prepares breakfast, walks the dog, takes care of the child. You get up, have breakfast, be sure to devote 5 minutes to your wife and stomp to work. In the evening, dinner and your time are waiting for you (you need to agree with your wife that you have an hour and a half after work, when you unload negativity or fatigue after a working day) after that, be sure to devote time to your wife and children. Such a scheme will allow you to avoid unwanted conflicts with your wife, and you, do not forget, are the head of the family and any irritability or hysteria greatly undermines your authority in her eyes. Sometimes it is worth raising your voice or scolding your spouse for obvious shoals, but these are rare exceptions and this should be used only in those moments when she really deserves it. If you part with this, then sooner or later it will not be effective. And if you break off because of a bad mood or failures at work, then your wife will harbor a well-deserved resentment against you.
A) Friends. You need to control her social circle. It is advisable to drive away unmarried wagtails and single "childhood friends" from her. Wagtails can whisper feminist "values" out of envy. There were cases when these sluts broke up families, and then offered their services as a replacement. There is no female friendship - let it be friends with the wives of your friends, period! And "childhood friends" can take your wife away from you under the auspices of romance, etc. heresy. After which, of course, she will crawl back, but it is no longer realistic to forgive this. Also not rare cases. This is very easy to do. One has only to hint that the "wagtail" is nothing and she will disappear from sight. Try to create her society for her yourself. Be interested in which of the friends of friends she likes more and meet with this friend more often. This is a big, but very important job.
B) Mother-in-law. Mother-in-law, mother-in-law, but still mother-in-law. Make your family as independent as possible from your wife's family.
C) Domestic violence. No violence! Do not dare to raise a hand against your wife - there will be no way back. Sometimes it's worth raising your voice, but rarely and on business. No long analysis of the relationship. You can have a heart-to-heart talk no more than once every 3-4 months. But teenage showdowns - leave to teenagers. If it starts to itch, ignore it. She is a woman and itching for all the bullshit in her nature - do not react. Do not forget that you are much stronger and smarter - do not react - otherwise you will lose credibility. It will always itch - develop immunity.