Getting to know and starting dating the opposite sex is easier than maintaining a permanent relationship. How to avoid mistakes and build a happy relationship?
Starting a relationship is much easier than maintaining it. As a rule, there are 9 common mistakes in thought and behavior on the way to a long and happy union with a partner.
Psychologist Paula Pietromonaco and her colleagues from Massachusetts analyzed the relationships of many couples and identified 9 common mistakes in the behavior of partners.
Confidence that the partner "will not leave"
Often times, having a partner becomes a habit and the couple forgets to appreciate each other. Signs of attention and surprises gradually disappear. On the one hand, relationships move into a more mature and stable phase, and on the other, romance fades away. Be careful not to let a touch of indifference in your relationship.
Thoughts that your partner will leave you
Obsessive thoughts about the negative and dependence on the behavior of a partner make a person irritable, anxious, which provokes both minor quarrels and serious scandals. Try to think about more productive things and notice the attitude of your partner in actions. Daily behavior and plans for the future mentioned in passing will tell more than petty interrogations about his feelings.
Ignoring the boundaries of personal space
Appreciate each other's sincerity and frankness. It is likely that the information your partner is sharing with you is not intended for outsiders. Do not frame a person or humiliate him by sharing the secrets of your life.
Complaining about your partner to anyone but himself
Very often you want to "correct" something in each other, but instead of discussing it with a partner, girls often pour out their souls to their friends, and men - or partners, or blurt out unflattering parents in their hearts. Discuss your grievances with each other. No one, except you two, will help you to go through to the end and sort out mutual rejection.
Suppress your discontent
Fearing to ruin the relationship, partners at times walk away from problems, suppressing their displeasure. Nevertheless, it does not go anywhere and grows like a snowball. Learn to solve problems. No quarrels, but in an adult way - by the method of discussion and compromise.
It happens that one of the partners "sins" with paranoid insecurity. This is accompanied by excruciating questioning and constant anxiety. It is very difficult to live in such a state, and it always affects the feelings - after all, it is almost impossible to get pleasure being in tension. As a result, the partner often tries to leave in order to take a break from the disturbing thoughts of the other.
Frivolous attitude towards a partner
If your partner does not feel you are interested, he will automatically lose interest in you. He will not be interested in investing himself, his feelings and attention in a person who does not care.
Stop believing in a partner
Support and mutual assistance are the whales on which a lasting alliance is built. If your partner feels that in a difficult moment you do not need him, he will creep in thoughts that there are no feelings. Sooner or later, the troubles will end. Think about whether your partner will leave with them, when everything is already working out, or you will celebrate the victory together.
Stop believing in your relationship
It is very important to keep the fire going. When, in the daily hustle and bustle, both get tired so much that they practically avoid each other, it is very difficult to maintain a relationship. Thoughts appear about the need for this relationship, while, perhaps, separately, you would not be walking the path on which you are stepping into the future. Think about what you have invested in this relationship and whether you are ready to lose it, how you see a joint future, and define it as clearly as possible. The main thing is not to let the feeling of hopelessness overwhelm in moments of fatigue. There is always a way.