How to properly respond to criticism
How to properly respond to criticism

Nobody who loves criticism, but not much more than those who know how to perceive it correctly. How to respond to criticism and what to do in this situation? We respond to negative comments without tears or anger!

“Nobody likes to be criticized. However, it can be an opportunity to demonstrate a rare quality - the ability to positively accept negative reviews,”says Sue Schellenbarger, journalist for The Wall Street Journal. This skill takes practice, humility, and a lot of introspection.

Managers say that many employees do not have this practice. First of all, criticism is out of fashion: according to a 2013 survey by the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) and Globoforce, more than 94% of HR leaders prefer positive feedback - praise is better earned, they know.

But if you are criticized, it can be difficult to cope with feelings. “If you have tears in your eyes or you feel bristling, ask for a 24 hour response,” recommends Brad Karsh, president of JB Training Solutions. “Just say,“Thank you very much for the information. I would like to think it over."

Douglas Stone, a lecturer at Harvard University, believes that people do not respond well to criticism for three reasons: “The criticism seems excessive or unfair to them. The addressee of criticism does not like or respect the person from whom it comes. Or the comments hurt his sense of identity or security."

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Some fan the remark into destructive criticism. In this case, Stone advises to create a table with two columns: "What this criticism affects, and what does not." The purpose of this exercise is to sweep away distorted interpretations.

According to consultant Garrett Miller, if you are criticized, it is more productive to ask specific questions. Specify: "What data have you reviewed?" - and do not be indignant: "Why do you say that?" Questions that begin with "why" only annoy and lead the conversation to a standstill.

“Extra restraint is needed if a boss or colleague criticizes you in front of everyone in a meeting,” says Schellenbarger.

“Don't make a scene,” advises Karsh. - Later, you can say that you took note of the comment, but notice that it is inappropriate and unproductive to berate you in front of others. Ask for such face-to-face discussions to continue in the future.”

It happens that some criticisms do not apply to you or your work in any way. It is allowed to ask the boss what his criticism is based on. If your boss hasn't bothered to interview your coworkers, customers, or customers, it's worth asking him to take their opinions into account as well.

Be that as it may, after a little reflection on the criticism addressed to them, most people come to the conclusion: "I perfectly understand what could have moved someone to such words."

“There is some truth in any comment,” says Miller. Before dismissing it, ask yourself, "How can I benefit from this?"

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How to respond to boss criticism

Don't: get angry and show that you are angry

Why: Because your boss will get angry and suspicious of you.

If you nevertheless reacted in this way, then: calm down, go to the boss later, apologize and ask for specific examples or evidence.

And how to react: “I would like to be sure that I understood everything correctly. Do you mean that …"

Don't: cry

Why: All your boss will remember is your tears.

If you nevertheless reacted that way, then: ask to be received later, apologize for being overly emotional and focus on specifics and what steps should be taken next.

How should you react: "Do you mind if I think about it a little and we will discuss it later?"

Not worth it: deny everything

Why: Your boss wonders if you can be trusted.

If you nevertheless reacted in this way, then: go to the boss later, explain that you did not see the picture in its entirety at once, and ask for specific examples.

And how to react: “This is a surprise for me. Could you give examples?"

Don't: blame others

Why: Your boss will lose respect for you.

If this is how you responded, focus on yourself and think about what lessons you can learn from what you heard, then meet with your boss again.

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And how to react: “I have not seen the situation from that point of view. Could you tell us more about your vision?"

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