You suddenly realize that it's time to make a list of rules in order to be a really successful loser. The answer may seem harsh, direct and incorrect to someone, but it's worth saying.
We live in not the most peaceful time, if you want to know. Many generations before us lived in a better environment, although they did not have all the benefits that modern man is often surrounded by. We have it all - accommodation, food, entertainment, books, hobby clubs, sports, business, science, and so on. However, what are we doing with all this good?
The answer may seem harsh, direct and incorrect to someone, but it's worth saying. We consume it all without giving anything in return. This is no secret, and there is nothing in it that can be regarded as an insult. It's just that life is like that, and there's nothing you can do about it. They produce a lot of products, consume a lot. They produce little food and consume little. Newton's third law, if you will.
Today we're going to talk about how to be a successful loser. How to achieve success on the path to oblivion, mental retardation, and consumerism in the highest instance. How to make a person out of yourself who does not care about what is happening around. How to get a diploma and start working for an uncle, spending time in social networks, online games and drinking beer on weekends. How do you achieve all this?
First you need to be born in the most ordinary family, where you are surrounded by loving mom and dad. They give you life guidelines - what should be done, and what should not be done in any case. They show you a model of life. They are pumping a strategy for achieving goals into your still fragile brain.
Initially, the information given from parents can be of two types. It can be subjective or it can be objective. Man is a being who is used to receiving information from his own kind, without bothering to begin to comprehend the world himself.
The experiment, which is already legendary, gave many answers to the question - "Why do people act this way?" The experiment consisted of throwing bananas in a cage with monkeys. However, whenever one of the primates wanted to take a banana, it was doused with cold water from a hose. Then a new monkey was put into the cage. She, as a beginner, did not know all the tricks, and tried to take a banana, after which all the monkeys were poured with cold water. Every time a monkey was put in a cage, she made an attempt to take a banana. However, this is what happened. Those old monkeys that were sitting in cages did not want to be under a cold shower again. Angrily looking at the newly arrived monkeys, the "old men" forbade them to take bananas. It got to the point that there were new monkeys in the cage, which were never doused with a hose, but they refused to take the banana.
This pattern of behavior is common in life. People were told - "It is necessary", and they do so, without making attempts to take luck by the tail.
Parents love their children, so they give them everything they have, and also lay down the behavioral strategies that they received during their life from their parents, friends and colleagues.
It's not easy to become a failure. Many may say: “Well, what’s there, tomorrow I’ll take it and become a loser. Everything is easy! " This is not entirely true. In order to become, for example, a lazy person, you must at least do nothing useful, and this is very difficult. For example, in order not to read books, you need to watch TV. Try it! It takes patience and perseverance. And to be a decrepit drish, you need to install Warcraft and play 18 hours a day without stopping. Well, who will undertake this? Everything is achieved through long and tedious workouts, which, well, absolutely cannot be missed. If you miss one, everything will go awry.
Becoming a drunk is the hardest thing. This requires strength, endurance and support from beer friends. First you need to start drinking cheap drinks, since the money in your student years is only enough for them. Vodka and beer are excellent biostimulants for the growth of a young organism. Without them, no one person can be a successful failure.
Well, you have matured. You can afford to drink more expensive drinks. Whiskey, martini, tequila. The names are beautiful, the taste is wonderful, and the fog in my head makes me think - I'll write a text message to my ex, maybe it will come out like nothing but sex. You do it! And you do it! She says yes! You come and you have sex. Simply fantastic! You are glad, she is even more glad, and in the morning you are glad that there is still a little beer left in the refrigerator to improve your health.
It gets hard when you apply for a job. It's hard to bear your burden when upstarts, fagots and idiots are all around you. You faithfully sit for eight hours in the social. networks, pounding orcs online, and you print out two sheets of paper to show your boss what a big client you have found. And now the end of the month. The salary. You get your fabulous sum of fifteen thousand rubles, and you go to the store to stock up on the best drink in the world - beer. But you also take croutons with it, and of course potato chips. You are practically happy. You have achieved everything. Slow music plays.
However, for a moment you stop and look in the mirror. You understand that there is still a lot you need to be a successful loser. And then you start to burn to the fullest. You go to the bank and take out a loan to buy a car or mobile, and maybe even a TV with a huge diagonal. You're doing it! You won again! You are given a loan, you buy this very thing.
Every morning when you wake up, you scratch your butt and walk towards the kitchen to drink a little water, straightening your appearance. Then you go to the bathroom and slam the door so no one can see you. You brush your teeth and wash your face, and then a delicious breakfast of three sandwiches and ham and eggs awaits you. Charged with the most delicious food in the world, you put on your lovely jeans, black shirt, and jacket. Time to work.
On the way to the office, you suddenly realize that it's time to make a list of rules in order to become a really successful loser. You open your notebook and write.
1. To act as said is the truth.
2. Sit in contact for 8 hours and this is only when you are at work. At home there are more hours in social networks. networks. Porn is the panacea for all diseases.
3. Play online games and try to buy new games to keep up with life.
4. Eat the right food - dumplings, mayonnaise, coca-cola, pizza. Belyash and hot dog - the queen of the refrigerator!
5. Smoking cigarettes.
6. Drink beer. You can have vodka, but you need it more often. It is still difficult to reach this level. We must try.
7. Do not communicate with girls. They are all fools, they do not understand anything in life.
8. Never, under no circumstances, and under any circumstances, do not climb on foot, even if it is the second floor. There should be an elevator.
9. Keep a diary of achievements in World Of Tanks and Warcraft.
10. Jerk off.
11. Live with your parents.
