I also expected ideal conditions and life. When there is more money, a good job, your own apartment, a luxurious car, a woman's love. Here's one thing for you that will change your life forever.
I, too, have always expected some ideal conditions. An extra hour of free time, more money, sound sleep and wellness. Love of a beautiful woman (or women). The day I can get a Jack Russell Terrier and a Snail Terrarium. And my own home, where no one would ever bother me. I, like you, wanted to deal first with all the "routine", arrange my life, and then start doing something worthwhile.
First of all, I will say that I am not known in the whole world, Someone There. You will not find anything about me either on the Internet or among your friends - anywhere. Despite the fact that tomorrow I will turn 26, I am still not, as if I have never been. I am the last person to tell you about success.
And all because I am you.
I, too, have always expected some ideal conditions. An extra hour of free time, more money, sound sleep and wellness. Love of a beautiful woman (or women). The day I can get a Jack Russell Terrier and a Snail Terrarium. And my own home, where no one would ever bother me. I, like you, wanted to deal first with all the "routine", arrange my life, and then start doing something worthwhile.
I didn't expect two suicide attempts and eight years of drunkenness - they happened somehow by themselves. Then I gave it up, but it made it even worse. I became disarmed. The dam disappeared and all the shit of the universe poured on me already unhindered; I tried to fight, but I was too weak. The whole world looked like the stupidest of absurdities and I despised the human race itself, starting with myself. Suddenly the attack ended, but I knew from experience that a third attempt would soon follow. The silence and humility that then reigned in my soul could only reign under the shell of a hydrogen bomb.
Life is often compared to beads, where one moment follows another. In my opinion, this metaphor takes a person away from the essence. They also say that life is like a bead, in which each moment precedes the next. This assimilation is only slightly better than the first. I say this, without metaphors: the current moment in your life may be the last. You never know when you will die because, in a sense, you are dying all the time. One day this process is over and if your plans for the future do not cover the present, then you will screw up great.
2. However, if you don’t dream, nothing will come of it. Dream. Just start fulfilling your dreams right away. To do this, you need a super task, a super dream, a common denominator of all your actions. You must understand your purpose.
For example, I want to be a great writer. Just devilish. And I am writing this post for you - NOW. Later I will begin to do something else, but I will definitely make sure that my desire to create is embodied in this activity. And all because my big integral dream is to make the world a better place, and in every action I do, I learn to see the opportunity for this. Seeing her in writing is easiest and most pleasant for me, because I really love literature.
If you want to do something important in life, then you need to learn to focus on the important - as long as possible, and then move on to the next thing, and so on and on. Don't confuse multitasking with absentmindedness. But also don't confuse multitasking with single-mindedness. At all times, outstanding results were achieved not by those who tried to do everything at once, but by those who devoted themselves entirely to one thing for a long period of time.
4. I was personally helped by meditation. Once I, just like you, considered her stupidity, buffoonery, a dummy in a cheap package of second-rate mysticism. In fact, meditation is a universal exercise for developing concentration in the moment. Without such concentration, work in the stream, which is now so much talked about, is impossible in principle. Sit on a chair or chair, set the timer for 25 minutes (I use the Pomodoro app on my smartphone for this), close your eyes and breathe as usual. Think only of your breath. Focus on the subtle tickling sensation that occurs in the nostrils as air passes through them. You will find that as soon as you “catch” this feeling, it immediately “leaves” - you start thinking about something else. "Return" it every time and long before the timer rings, you will already know exactly what is the root of all your failures.
Surprise: aliens from the future do not exist. If you still want to devote your life to one occupation, you have to take risks.
When I say “dreams of women,” I don’t mean to say that dreaming of a woman is bad. The best periods in a man's life are associated with these dreams. But you yourself know how much time it takes to porn or to like pictures of the girlfriends of your friends' friends.
6. Of course, you can argue that you will not want to fuck from this. But how many have you fucked from those you see on social networks or videos on redtube? Tyler, for example, nobody. And he would continue to jerk off to them with you, if one day he did not understand one funny thing: women do not give you because you do not give them.
A car, an apartment or money has nothing to do with it: they can get it all themselves, by honest or dishonest labor. What is really difficult to get is attention, respect, acceptance and support. Every person deserves them from birth and unsuccessfully demands from others all their life.
As a result of regular meditation, something similar happens, but your mind is not intoxicated, but clarified. This clarity of mind has amazing benefits - especially in creativity and work. What you usually do with difficulty in half a day can be done three times faster and better after meditation. Nothing distracts you, you are calm and focused. Grass cannot be compared with this, if only because you cannot do anything from it, but only laugh or look for the police in the freezer.
With regard to emotions, it is found, for example, that after meditating in situations where you usually exploded in the blink of an eye, you remain unperturbed. Anger does not take possession of you, but flies by like a small cloud. You feel omnipotent, master of the situation, but this feeling cannot be seized with crackers or washed down with sweet tea. Confidence is now becoming an integral quality of your personality.
10. Further, living according to the principle "here and now" is the best way to be yourself and not offend anyone. After all, remembering that in a second you may end up leaving no choice but to always act according to your conscience. To exchange the last moment of your life for mean actions is simply disgusting. The same applies to gossip, squabbles, intrigues, scandals, quarrels, lies, embellishment and hypocrisy.
11. Living in the moment also heals all anxiety. Resign yourself to the fact that you can never know in advance what to do and how. You are free to predict, calculate and believe, but true knowledge will be revealed to you only when the future becomes present, not earlier. Staying calm and ready for this discovery means leading a conscious life.
When I feel myself becoming restless, I usually think of a Buddhist wisdom that goes like this: If a problem is solvable, you don't have to worry about it because it will be solved. If it is not solvable, then there is no need to worry about it, because nothing can be done.
12. It follows that you always know enough. In a unit of time, the sum of all your knowledge, skills and abilities is the maximum, and your mind is always equal to itself. This does not mean that you do not need to study - on the contrary. Everything that you can and know in the future is what you have learned NOW.
14. People read books in order to understand with the help of someone else's life how to better live their own. This is why the stories of vampires and magicians are doomed.
15. Gains and losses are relentless companions of the movement. You should neither be too upset about them, nor too happy. It would be equally foolish to strive for them or avoid them. In general, nothing can be done with them, except how to use them as fuel. Another surprise: even if you do not do this, they will turn into fuel by themselves - such an endless reincarnation sustains the eternal fire of the universal furnace. I only suggest that you stand at the helm. NOW.
16. Don't worry if you don't succeed at first. No one is ever able to think about being in the moment all the time. Perfection is unattainable, but the more often you turn your thoughts to it, the better. What was discussed above is a foundation, not a cell.
Why? Probably because for too long I felt lost, useless, unnecessary, stupid and flawed to wish it now to someone else.
But just passing by is already a wish, isn't it?
