Failures in relationships happen due to a lack of understanding of the rules of the game of the sexes. The most common mistakes in the relationship between men and women.
Relationships can be different. And they are divided into the following types: matrimonial, love, friendship, between parents and children, workers. But, regardless of their type, we make the most common mistakes in them, knowing this. Although the mistakes are familiar to us, let's analyze them once again.
List of errors:
1. Selection according to the established template
In search of the second half, we use stereotyped techniques, namely, we are looking not for an individual personality, but for specific traits. For example: 1. The ideal man is ambitious and purposeful; 2. A woman should be able to be affectionate and give herself fully to her family.
2. Illusions of fabulous relationships
Behind the curtain of our imaginations and dreams of a wonderful love relationship and the future, we do not see a real person. By assigning ideal features to it, we present fabulous pictures, not noticing what a person is really ready for. The above described relationships are most inherent in the network, that is, virtual.
3. Overestimation of requirements
After the second half has become an integral part of our life, we begin to ask ourselves a number of questions, from which obligations follow. For example: "It should be done by a man, not a woman," "I expect something completely different from you, why don't you do this?"
4. The requirement to change
The list of calls for change is too long. The most common ones are: “You are rude. Change!”,“Be more economical!”,“Change yourself!”,“Get in shape!”,“Give up your hobby! Why do you need it?". But you cannot change only with the help of appeals and even claims of another person. He must himself realize the need for his change. In the show "Let's Get Married" Guzeeva recommends finding a "ready-made" person who does not need to be redone. Since the desire to improve the soul mate will not work!
5. Attempts to become a leader in relationships
Find out more about the person before you date. Pay attention to how he treats the people around him (his family, comrades, colleagues, and even his ex) and what his opinion of them is. Since the attitude and caring for you at the beginning of the inception of a relationship can hide the real appearance of a partner.
6. Drowning in relationships
Self-sacrifice for the sake of a loved one, the fulfillment of all his whims and desires, constant concessions and compromises, alas, do not bring reciprocal gratitude. It is in vain to hope that he will someday understand devotion, since this is taken for granted. If you don't value yourself, the people around you won't respect you either!
7. Violation of the principles of communication
This is when, instead of calm communication with each other, discussion of requests and desires, criticism, claims and even accusations sound in return. When, playing in silence, they hope that the other will guess the reasons for the resentment and strife.
Games such as “let him run after me”, “let him prove his love”, “most likely we are not suitable for each other” are exhausting, and as a result - broken hearts. These games do not lead to strong relationships or partnerships. Leave the illusion, if there is no respect right away, it will not appear in the future.
9. Desire to hide behind someone else's mask
If you can't be yourself, perhaps you need to reconsider your outlook on life and take a closer look at your self-esteem?
10. Key error
One of the main mistakes is fear (to choose “not your own”, to be alone, to be close, to prove yourself). Whatever the mistake, big or small, is a precious experience, thanks to which we learn, comprehend something new. And there is no need to deprive yourself of this opportunity. Psychology asserts that mistakes do not exist, they are confused with the concepts of "result", "experience". It is better to use the opportunity than to regret not having done (done) anything.