Women consider men to be big children, and men consider women to be capricious children. Some children's features of the psychology of men and women.
MAN AS A CHILD
My heart is fourteen years old … B. Grebenshchikov
I’ll tell you for sure (if you don’t believe, ask any of your girlfriends) that women consider you and me big children. This is how, for example, this attitude is reflected in a poem by Irina Snegova:
… You sit down more and more clearly, Why are you so-Until the churchyard -Godlessly abandoned The tragic age of the Teenager?
Almost all women both grow up in the period of 14-20 years, and then live with about the same level of ordinary "adulthood". Resistant such organisms. The man, however, is incomprehensible to them for his enthusiasm and impulsiveness. But basically, women's confidence that we are children is based on the following male characteristics.
Men are spontaneous and can maintain freshness of perception and the ability to wonder throughout their lives.
Almost all men, until old age, are able to get carried away with something and devote themselves to such things that a woman is not able to perceive other than self-indulgence. A man's hobbies are infinitely varied and can be anything: rock and roll, writing, street racing, scuba diving, go-karting, kiting, rock climbing, DJing, collecting, inventing, political activities, etc. etc. Yes, even the notorious cutting with a jigsaw. A man who is keen on his work will spend all his time on him, will not regret any expenses, will deny himself food and sleep, but will not betray his business - a man is not a man without his work, if you understand what I mean.
A woman, on the other hand, regards everything that has nothing to do with her, her beloved, family or, in extreme cases, health as a waste of time, fooling around and a wasted hobby. “Whatever the child is amusing himself with, as long as he is not hung up,” the woman sighs, not understanding why a man can devote so much energy, time and feelings to things that are completely unnecessary and incomprehensible to her.
Even as a student, Andrei got carried away with bookbinding - he studied old techniques, ordered an oak edging press with a tongue for a tapestry, knives for grinding leather, stamps, font-cash registers and other useful things, added foil, leather, wax, mica paper, cypress and beech planks, he learned to weave silk captal himself and make overhead clasps …
P. Krusanov "Bom-Bom"
A man who is carried away, "burning", forgets about everything for the sake of his cause, and in fact often behaves like a child, and a woman can only wonder why he "does not grow up" for so long.
The explanation is simple. Usually girls very early find for themselves the most interesting hobby in life: their own appearance plus romantic and family relationships - and devote the rest of their lives to this.
A family guest talks to an eight-year-old girl.
- What do you want to become when you grow up?
“I don’t know,” she replies.
- Well, why are you, already such an adult girl, and you still don't know what you will do in life?
“Don’t worry, I’ll finish school, then I’ll go to college, and there, once or twice, and I’m pregnant!”
A woman, as a rule, is close only to what is close to her. That is, all these women's things are always in the foreground for them, all the rest of the diversity of the world passes rather in the background and is suitable only for the role of short-term hobbies, and some forms of male occupation are completely incomprehensible to a woman. Most women look at life as if through an embrasure, not realizing that beyond this degree of view lie huge areas not explored by her.
A man appearing within the studied area gives the woman a variety of information about the world and places that lie outside the space that she is observing. But the woman does not understand this. Yes, by the way, she, even understanding, does not feel any interest - after all, the investigated area is quite enough for her: romantic relationships, her own appearance, everyday issues, etc.
In the fourth year, we were taught psychology.
Faculty of Second Higher Education. Students are quite conscientious healthy uncles. 30-40 years old.
The teacher, a petite young girl who looks like a dandelion, in love with her subject and herself, chirps something cheerfully.
The people habitually doze off, not really delving into the wisdom of science.
Carried away, the "psychologist" began to talk about her former student, who at the age of 18 got into the army and who, oh, horror, was subjected to a tank run-in.
The people, having heard the familiar word (tank), perked up.
- Can you imagine this horror, - chirped a dandelion, running in excitement around the chair, turning over with slender legs on thin heels, - the boys were lying, and huge, terrible tanks were walking past them. Right next door, can you imagine ?! The tanks were walking, and they were lying, and the tanks … they are … huge, can you imagine this horror ?! The boy broke down and lost his mind. Can you imagine what horror he was subjected to ?!
- Why is that? - came a puzzled bass from Kamchatka, - normal preparation….
"Psychologist" hesitated and looked at the audience for the first time.
The people sitting in front of her visited hot spots, knew how to shoot, blow up and walk into the mountains, take "tongues" and participate in forceful detentions, "stab" those under investigation and conduct "express" interrogations. Former combat swimmers, officers, KGB officers, employees of the criminal investigation department, instructors.
- What are you, - the girl asked quietly, - did you all go through this training?
- No, - came from another corner, - I, for example, did not pass. I only drove one of these tanks.
Man's interests and affairs of a woman are often, let's say, surprising. At the same time, she is often jealous of a man for his hobby and sometimes even makes attempts to join this business - but rather in order not to let the man get out of control.
In the premarital period, my girlfriend did not miss a single rehearsal of a rock group, where her fiance played drums. She brought pies to her betrothed, ran for cigarettes, portrayed a crowd of admiring listeners and even began to sing along in a second voice in some songs. In general, there was a complete impression that she understood, shared and even welcomed her boyfriend's hobby. This had an extremely positive effect on his attitude towards her, which, accordingly, led to his marriage. Then everything began to change in the most magical way - at first the young wife also went to rehearsals, then she began to appear less and less often. And since letting her husband out of control was not part of her plans, she, using various female training techniques, first took her husband out of this group, and then he completely sold drums and gave up music.
Conclusion: the lightness and curiosity of men, their "live" attitude to life, characteristic of children, is perceived by women as childish spontaneity and enthusiasm.
Men are unpretentious in everyday life.
The soldier easily got ready for his journey, without further ado says goodbye. And all his property can fit in one bag … Good song
As you know, a man is able to eat "Doshirak" for weeks, walk in the same pants for months and not notice that there are no curtains on the windows for years. This is a commendable minimalist perception of the world, this millennia formed in men and is extremely necessary for a soldier, a warrior and a wanderer, unpretentiousness by a woman is perceived as infantilism. That is, everything turns upside down again: if a man cannot wash his shirt, cook borscht, or take a shower five times a day, then he is a child and requires care and supervision.
Asceticism, unwillingness to concentrate on little things, directing one's resources (strength, time, money, energy) to more important things - all this is assessed and perceived by a woman as a child's inability to live, well, and, of course, increases her own value in women's eyes: “Well, where are they without us, they would have disappeared altogether."
One friend of mine, an inveterate bachelor, but at the same time a very thorough and economical person, causes quiet hatred among all female acquaintances by the fact that he lives completely differently from how, in their opinion, a bachelor should live. That is, no mess, endless dumplings, unwashed socks and piles of empty beer bottles in the kitchen. On the contrary: a perfectly renovated, regularly cleaned apartment, good food (the guy knows how and loves to cook, so some of our mutual friends almost went to visit him, running away from their inept wives) and neatly disassembled things. Of course, such "boring" is more an exception than a rule, but even such rare exceptions infuriate women, violating the genetically programmed picture of the world in each of them.
A woman is simply not able to understand the male point of view on many issues. And the man, in turn, does not attach importance to other things that are obvious to a woman. It is not worth twitching about this, and the most reasonable feeling on the part of a man in relation to a woman will be condescension. Because women - well, indeed, they themselves are like children!..
WOMAN AS CHILD
Women, like children, love to say no. Men, like children, take it seriously.
Yanina Ipohorskaya
The lower always and everywhere needs more than the higher. The sick outnumber the healthy in the number of needs, children - adults, women - men, only the gods do not need anything.
Lucian of Samosata
Condescension is what will allow you to forgive women for all their quirks and stupidity, which in any of them is more than live weight. Look at a woman the way you, a man, should, - from top to bottom (I did not quote the quote from Lucian for nothing). A woman is indeed less intelligent and more dependent, and most importantly, she herself needs such an attitude towards herself. For her, as well as for a child, being with someone is one of the elements of happiness. But since you are responsible for the one you have tamed, then you need to learn to be more forgiving to him, which, of course, does not negate severity and does not imply the ability to let loose.
Everything is exactly the same as with the child.
After all, the meaning of the bundle "women and children" is much deeper than just a description of the members of society, who are the first to be evacuated into boats during a shipwreck. And if we look at the features of the female character with a strict male gaze, then we will find a lot of much more "childish" traits, moreover, inherent in children of the earliest (preschool and even pre-Kindergarten) age.
So, a woman, like a child:
… Initially I am sure that everything is possible for her.
Just by the right of her existence. A child (at least up to a certain age) believes that parents should forgive him everything: after all, these are his dad and mom! Often children say to their parents: “I didn’t ask you to give birth to me,” meaning something like “Now bear with me”. A woman thinks the same way: if a man has struck up a relationship with her, you can do whatever you want with him, and demand from him anything you want - as a dependent being, she quite logically puts responsibility for herself on the one who is more important. Children do the same; the only difference is that children are really dependent and obedient, and a woman often only plays in such dependence in order to awaken in a man the patriarchal instincts of a leader, protector, etc. Skillfully using these instincts for her selfish purposes, a woman often oversteps all permissible boundaries in a relationship, since the child knows that he can be punished, but the woman is usually not threatened.
I know one charming girl who intuitively knows how to handle fans. Starting small, she ends up making them comply with even the wildest whims. And if someone tries to rebel (takes offense or tries to put in place, in our context it can be considered as an attempt to “punish a child”), then one of two proven methods is used: someone he does not really value) or a "spontaneous" outburst of affection: "Uchi-ways, masik, well, you are offended, or something, malyupusik." The hero immediately melts and runs in cyrlah to fulfill the required:-).
… She is capricious and touchy, has a changeable character, considers herself the center of the earth and the center of the universe, and is also extremely demanding.
Demanding it is clear why. After all, a man bears responsibility for her as a "parent", and it is a sin not to demand everything from parents at once. The parent should! I'm his child! And often women's scandals and whims resemble children's tantrums for trifling reasons, when the baby is lying on his back and pounding his feet on the floor. Women behave in much the same way - unless they are lying on the ground.
Girls have such an attitude from childhood - as a rule, they grow up in an atmosphere of complete indulgence of all desires and whims, while the attitude towards boys is usually different in principle.
However, sometimes it is possible and necessary to indulge the whims of a woman (more or less reasonable, of course). For a real man, this has its own thrill - after all, when a parent pampers his beloved child, he gets pleasure. But in this matter you need to be very careful and circumspect, because a woman …
… Feeling his power, he quickly becomes spoiled.
As is typical for children who are accustomed to receive everything they want from their parents. In many cases, especially when the parents are weak-willed and love the child very much, the process of "upbringing" goes in the opposite direction, that is, it is not the parents who raise their children, but the other way around.
Likewise, a woman, feeling her power over you, will exert pressure on you in order to "educate" you in accordance with her understanding and turn you around for her own purposes. In this case, like a spoiled child, her requests will increase, moodiness and exactingness will increase, and most likely the relationship will eventually deteriorate, and then it will end altogether.
- I heard that Trifonov, as if on purpose, in his previous three marriages chose women as his life companions who were stronger in character …
- This is not entirely true. Yuri Valentinovich was a strong man with firm attitudes in life. And the women thought that they could break it and crush it under themselves. It was a temptation, because they were deluded, mistaking complaisance as a sign of weakness and generosity as yielding. Women who do not distinguish such nuances will sooner or later pay dearly for this …
Olga Trifonova about her husband, writer Yuri Trifonov
Newspaper "Trud", No. 036, 27.02.2003
And, by the way, when such an hour of reckoning comes, in the deterioration of relations and their breakup anyway, from the point of view of a woman, you will be to blame, because a woman, like a child …
… Likes to shift responsibility to the "parents" (man).
Small children are not responsible for anything. For this they have a parent - on whom all responsibility lies.
A woman treats her man in the same way. A man's inability to be responsible, to solve problems, to protect his "child" is one of the main factors for disappointment in him. This includes the ability of a man to be tough, independent, the ability to insist on his own and unconditionally prove who is in charge in a pair. Modern women of this - real, masculine - are sorely lacking, because the world has feminized not only women, but men as well. Therefore, if you cannot be strong, reliable, self-confident, your woman will end up disappointed in you.
However, children are disappointed in their parents for the same reasons.
The girl I have already mentioned divides her fans into "cats" and "deer". She twirls the "deer" and does not value any of them at all, but when she finally meets the "cat", she … breaks up with him quite quickly, because the "cats" do not allow themselves to steer with such careless ease, but in a different way she does not know how yet. She worries, of course … But sooner or later everything will be fine with her - you just have to learn to see in a man not a hybrid of a vibrator and an ATM, but a man.
… Has a passion for bright things and useless toys.
If a man is fond of some kind of "toys", then most likely they are still functional or collectible items - even if they are expensive or rare.
For women, the concept of "trinket" was specially introduced and a whole industry of various unnecessary things was formed. Hence the love of adult women for toys in general: for different teddy bears, sheep and cats. This also includes the passion of women for bright colors: even phones for them are made as colorful as possible - red, orange or pink. It is worth mentioning here that the passion for flashy flowers is also characteristic of primitive peoples close to nature (we will talk about the similarity of feminine and primitive thinking later).
… He is unable to follow his speech and express thoughts coherently.
Hence - the talkativeness, the inability to "keep his mouth shut", the inability to concentrate on the main thing, the increased emotionality of the conversation and its low information content.
The feminine manner of speaking is also often called chirping. Just like children, ladies tend to convey information in a conversation not on a verbal level, but on an emotional level - to raise or lower the pitch of sounds, often use interjections, facial expressions and gestures.
… Possesses a "short" memory.
New vivid impressions can completely erase the previous impressions from her memory. Little things that a woman pays attention to can overshadow more important things that a woman, due to the peculiarities of her thinking, did not notice. For example, who, when and what was dressed, a woman will be able to remember in years, but what the conversation was about or where the meeting took place will be completely forgotten. (In fairness, it is worth noting that this applies only to those cases when the topic of conversation is not very close to a woman, but, say, a lady can remember some gossip for the rest of her life.)
… Perceives the world emotionally, without using logic.
Moreover, she does not need it. Having shifted responsibility for himself onto the shoulders of the parent, the child, in which case, can always turn to him for help or clarification. You yourself act as a parent for a woman, and you probably have already come across the fact that your conversations with your friend take place in the "you talk, she listens" mode.
In a word, children and women live by feelings, not by reason, therefore they see the world from a completely different side.
So, as you can see, "childishness" is present in the character of a woman to a much greater extent than in a man's. There is, however, one serious difference: preschoolers strive to learn the world, look for something new for themselves, develop … And a woman most often avoids this, unless this new thing concerns entertainment or clothes. Anything radical scares a woman, and she prefers to see a share of conservatism in every manifestation of novelty. For example, any of the freshest Hollywood blockbuster, like Frankenstein, sewn from segments of films that have already been shot, filled with clichés and platitudes - this is the degree of novelty that a woman is willing to allow into her life. The most conservative part of human society is women over 55 years old who keep matron traditions. But, of course, the desire to avoid changes, the desire for peace in women is always in the blood, regardless of age, it just becomes more noticeable over time.
Ladies themselves love to present themselves to us as children. Mischievous pigtails, short dresses, lisping, some kind of teddy bear attached to a mobile phone, naively open eyes, bright handbags …
One familiar girl, in conversations with her men, calls herself nothing more than "beloved child" - just like that, in the third person. "Why didn't you call your beloved child back?" "My beloved child was bored." "Buy your favorite child ice cream." Attached is a "childish" tone, slightly puffed lips, eyebrows with a house, shaking the head and a shy look to the side. In especially difficult situations, she, like a real little girl, hides her hands behind her back and, as it were, fiddles with her thumb: such an interlude looks extremely touching, and the boys melt faster than a jellyfish on a hot tar.
Women want to appear as children in order to manipulate us - this is an indisputable fact.
Women want to feel like children, because this gives them the opportunity to be under the protection and patronage, which the female nature requires, is also a fact.
But women are in fact children in many ways (like you and me, what can we hide, my friend). And to the children, let me remind you, you need to be condescending. For some things, it is not even accepted to scold them. But for some - it is worth punishing, and punishing seriously.
Conclusion: treat a woman like a child. It will help you, and this is what women want. Be more patient and indulgent, but do not spoil the child too much. Your relationship with a woman is like a parent-child relationship: it is a mutual educational process, the result of which should be a mutually pleasant, respectful and problem-free coexistence. True, it is more difficult with a woman than with a child, because she needs not so much to educate as to re-educate, because some basics of her attitude towards herself, the world and a man were laid down even before meeting you.
