Do women claim that a man's appearance does not matter much? But is it really so. How to improve your chances when dealing with the fair sex?
Remember how in high school your buddy promised to introduce you to a certain lady and you asked what she looked like? And he patted you on the back and replied: "Oh, he is an amazing person!" Thus, he made it clear that it is better to give her a flea collar than a bouquet of flowers.
What do you look like? Women argue that a man's appearance does not matter much. But can a fat wallet make up for a fat belly? Can a strong personality compensate for weak muscles? Could huge creativity make up for sparse hair?
Let's put it this way: you're lucky that for women, personality is more important than appearance. The second is amenable to change, but when a person is too busy with the first, mother nature does not like it at all. And yet, in the eyes of a woman, appearance plays a greater role than in the eyes of a man. Do you think one contradicts the other? Nothing like this. I explain.
Objectively higher demands on appearance are made by men. Many people prefer long-legged girls with high breasts and thin waists. But if you line up a hundred women and ask how many you are attracted to, you probably decide that about half of them would not be put out of their bed.
Now let's line up a hundred men and give the ladies a choice. Result? Despite the fact that most of the men in the line will be quite attractive "stallions", only a few of them will make a woman's heart beat faster. Why? Because a woman knows exactly what she is looking for. If she dreams of a man with character, your face should show a strong character - only in this case she will immediately feel physical attraction. If she appreciates a sense of humor, you should get some laugh lines. If she's obsessed with intelligence, let your bald dome shine brighter.
How about generalizations? Yes please. Here is a quote from the British Journal of Social Clinical Psychology, whose staff found out what it is about a man that most women like:
Women are attracted to men whose appearance reveals their exalted feelings; to those who have the outward signs of sexual maturity and a desire for domination; to those who look sociable and approachable and have signs of high social status.
Individuals who exhibit the optimal combination of neotenic (boyish) traits (large eyes), mature male traits (prominent cheekbones and large chins), and a wide, expressive smile, and are also dressed as high-status, are considered more attractive than other men.
Now let's translate this into human language. It says here that women like kind and caring-looking men with expressive features. However, women also like the slight tinge of childishness that allows a man to be maternal. All this is another focus of Mother Nature.
Guys with a mane of shiny hair may find this next question pointless. However, many of your less hairy brothers want to know how women feel about their bald or balding heads.
If you are one of the growing number of men in our aging population who secretly look at the back of their heads in the mirror, counting how many hairs they had to say 'happy landing' over the past week, and wondering if it's time to hurry up and buy some next ' the Chinese formula”- then read on. You'll like the scientists' answer. (Although, if you are not hunting for ladies, but for work, you may be disappointed.)
In a study titled "Forming an Impression of a Man Based on Baldness" (or, more simply, "What Do People Think About Bald?"), The researchers used a computer simulation program to depict the thick hair on the head of a completely bald thirty-year-old man. They then showed his photo to anyone and everyone who agreed to take a look, and asked them a few questions.
The overall result was as follows: the guy with thick hair was recognized as "significantly stronger, more dynamic and courageous" than his bald counterpart. In addition, the owner of the hair looked younger. But then there is good news for sexually aroused bald patrons, so I will quote from the report: "The attractiveness scores of the men in both photographs are no different," according to the women interviewed.
And finally, one more useful word for the wise. What has fallen is gone. I repeat, you don’t need to save a few long hairs in order to comb them across the bald spot. The glow of your skull still cannot be hidden, and besides, you will have to live in constant fear of windy days.
The wigs are even worse. A woman may like to let your hair pass through her fingers, but she does not want it to remain in her hands.
"What about artificial hair implantation?" - you ask. No woman will enjoy ironing a head that feels like coarse sandpaper.
Do women rate my hairstyle? You're kidding!
Gentlemen, I'm not joking at all. In her meticulousness, a woman does not miss anything. She explores you from head to toe with as much attention to detail as a Broadway producer casting for a million dollar show. Every detail, from your hairstyle to the shine of your boots, becomes a kind of sexual cue for her, which she uses to judge whether she wants to put the evening into you. Of course, there is no "right" or "wrong" hairstyle, but since the blue cards from my seminar were frequently asked about hairstyles, we did a survey. Here's what the women in one group said about the different hairstyles.
Thoroughly cut hair, styled with a hairdryer and varnished. Perhaps in the morning you look in the mirror and say, “This is part of my image of a strong man,” but women don't like this hairstyle. If a man's head is too well-groomed, the woman thinks: "A braggart with an excessively inflated conceit."
Dyed hair. Fine, if only they are painted well and the woman did not notice the paint.
Long hair: Many men ask me, "What about long hair?" They think that this hairstyle makes them look creative and artistic. It also happens. However, if you are not an artist, musician, or rock star with a big name, the woman will most likely decide that you are making little money.
There was one guy who cut his hair short in front and wore a tail on the back of his head. He asked what women had to say about his hairstyle and remarked that he thought he could please everyone because the tail was good for fun and the conservative hairstyle for work. But the women did not buy it and were ruthless. They stated: this style means that the man is clearly "not from the elite" and "thinks too much about how to please his long-haired boyfriends."
Feel the main idea? Women don't like any of the styles that suggest insecurity or, conversely, high self-esteem.
The best, most beloved hairstyle by women, preferred by 99 women out of 100, is well-cut, neat, clean hair without styling, without dye and without varnish. This means: “I am not chasing cheap, not overly conceited, and not overly concerned about what representatives of any social group think of me. I am successful and I care about my appearance."
What about an athletic physique? And growth?
Get out the centimeter, because now we are going to strike below the belt. The average physique is still held in high esteem, but girls like it to be higher for a man above the belt than below. According to research, women prefer V-shaped figures over pear-shaped ones. But it is also a question of social status. Women born in cheap paper shirts prefer muscular men. Conversely, those with high-paying jobs find these heavyweight athletes downright awful. They prefer fit and slender figures.
Height? Let's look at the statistics. Virtually every president who has enjoyed the most popularity (today that does not mean he was elected) in the United States since 1900 has been taller than his rival. A Wall Street Journal claims that taller college graduates (1.85m and taller) earn about 12.4 percent more wages from the outset than those who are less than 1.80m tall. that when it comes to love and sex, women prefer tall men.
And now let us please those who do not reach the mark of 1.80 m. It is quite obvious that in a horizontal position a tall man has no advantages. Women of different heights - short, medium height and tall - ranked men according to their level of sexual attractiveness. Men of average height won.
So if you are not a V-figure with a slight hint of athleticism, then all is lost? Not at all. If you want a few more women to whisper, "He's so handsome," as you approach, you need to learn to "move well." If you are looking to boost your quotes in terms of appearance, check out the photographs of men in advertisements for Calvin Klein apparel or Armani blazers. Well, you know, such a look like "I see you through the dress" and the lightest unshaven, certifying the masculinity of its owner. And the coolest thing is how they stand - the weight is transferred to one leg, two fingers are holding the jacket, casually thrown over the shoulder, and the head is thrown back at just the right angle. In the modeling business, this is called the ability to move well. You are quite capable of doing the same.
You don't have to wander the streets, taking spectacular poses every second, otherwise you will be considered a poseur. Just pay attention to how you move. Movements should be courageous, full of strength. (Learn to walk beautifully.) Move with gallantry. (When in a restaurant, get up when she comes back from the toilet and walks to the table.) Movement should be protective. (Crossing the street, offer your hand to the lady.) Movements should be filled with love. (Adjust her collar or loosen her hair after helping her put on the raincoat.) Move with courage!
Is it really that important what I am wearing?
In short: YES! You will be very surprised when you find out what a woman notes in your appearance. When you are dressed in expensive or well-fitting clothes, she subconsciously takes it as proof of your ability to provide for a future offspring. Do not blame the girl: she only does what her mother (nature) tells her. Even the local coffee shop waitress, who has never been outside the city, after which her eatery is named, somehow supernaturally senses how much the clothes cost. Genes, not otherwise!
Before going through a bunch of studies looking for data on clothing, I fell into the sin of thinking. As a woman, I adore the whimsical inventions of designers and I will scour the shops until I come across an elegant outfit that will make my beau faint. What a waste of money! Everything is as simple as an orange. Since in his mind a man will undress a woman anyway, why waste hard earned money on clothes with some unimaginable signature on the label? Why the hell, you ask?
The fact that you don't care about what exactly your body is covered with does not mean that the lady treats it in the same way. Unlike you, she does not paint naked men in her imagination. She's not going to mentally undress you and represent your stone muscles and delicious, board-hard belly. She is interested in your clothes!
Proof of this juicy fact was a study conducted at the University of Syracuse. Men and women were shown photographs of people of the opposite sex . The women in the photographs were very different - from luxurious cats to gray mice. But there was one trick. Some of the mice were exquisitely dressed, and some of the kitties were dressed in tasteless rags. I have to give you guys credit. I have never been able to take you through. You peeped behind expensive clothes and unmistakably distinguished mice in feline outfits from cats in mouse skins.
But the women were not so perceptive. (Or, on the contrary, very perceptive? It depends what they were looking for.) The photographs showed a variety of men, from cool in the style of Kevin Costner to men with whom even a photographer would be afraid to be alone in a dark room. They were dressed exactly the same: some in the creations of leading fashion designers, and some in cheap rags from the next sale.
While viewing the photographs, the women were asked six questions, starting with "Which one would you marry?" or "Who would you agree to go on a date with?" and ending with an amazing (considering that the research was carried out by a serious university) - "Who would you choose for one night?"
It turned out that a man's clothes meant a lot to a woman. The better he was dressed, the higher his grades were in all six categories - including the one-night stand.
Alas! Sexual evolution has been around for millions of years, and men and women still understand romance differently. Gentlemen, even if you're out hunting just to find yourself a girlfriend for one night, don't be like an unmade bed. Even if you have a cool butt and think you look awesome in jeans that look like they were sprayed on, you'd better wear custom-made trousers from Brooks Brothers to boost your nightclub odds. This does not mean that you should not look casual. But everyday chic is better than everyday zilch. Here are a couple of tips for what women like. The mercury column has skyrocketed and you feel like wearing a short sleeve shirt? Do not do that. You look much less sexy in these shirts. Better to wear a long-sleeved shirt and roll them up.
Socks? In the most casual outfit, the tone and color of the socks should be in harmony with your trousers. When sitting, never show off the hideous pale hairy line between the toe and the hem of your trousers. Walk without socks at all? Some guys think this is cool, but in reality it only adds to the bad smell. Belt? It should match the boots, both in color and overall appearance (matte or shiny).
Shoes? Without knowing it, women are born with X-ray vision, which allows them to spot a pair of fancy, expensive boots right from the door in the middle of a crowded dance hall.
One of my actress friends named Christiana purposefully and unabashedly climbed up the social ladder. One day she arranged for us an invitation to a gorgeous dinner, where there were only six men and six women.
Returning home by metro (we had no money for a taxi), in the roar of the train, Christina said:
“Clifford invited me to the theater. He wants to take me to The Fantastiks. I said I hadn't watched it yet, but I had heard a lot about this musical.
- Which is Clifford? I asked.
- The one tall in Bruno Magli.
- In what, in what?
“In boots,” she shouted, “in boots from Bruno Magli. Considering that most of the evening we were sitting at the table and could not see the legs of the neighbor, I was surprised how she managed to notice what Clifford was wearing.
- How can you not notice? she asked, irritated by my poor perception.
- Well, well, what were the rest of them wearing? - I urged. Christina began to announce the list of shoes of the men present:
- Kyle was wearing Ferregamo shoes, Andre was wearing the Wallabees, and Bill was wearing Charles Jordan moccasins.
- What was John wearing? I asked.
“Oh, the Kilties,” she replied, as if they were landing boots. She won.
Gentlemen, I don’t mean to say that all women are as picky about your shoes as Christiana, but frayed army boots will make a much worse impression on her than on your friends, who will not pay attention to your shoes at all, unless you wear high stiletto heels.
Blazer? First of all - expensive, beautiful soft fabric. Women love with their hands, remember? And by all means, make sure that the clothes fit you nicely if you want the same from a woman.
The best thing you can do is take a woman with you when you go shopping: your sister or ex-girlfriend (with whom you have a good relationship) is perfect. Better yet - sit down or fall - hire an image consultant to do what they call a "wardrobe analysis" for you. Do you think that image consultants are needed only for “stars” and residents of “Quiet Street”? Think again. Men need them, at least smart ones.
Throw in the cry and you are bound to find a young and talented image consultant with double-digit royalties. I've done it.
I met Julia when she was working at the SoHo art gallery. In the evenings, she moonlights as an image consultant. Of course, the idea of consulting a consultant was something unheard of for me, however, as it turned out, it was one of my smartest actions.
Then I tortured my buddy Phil a little. He was well versed in hidden sexual signals and therefore enjoyed success with women - to a certain extent. He did not understand why sometimes women, especially of the upper class, gave him a turn from the gate. He could not figure out that he owed such an attitude towards himself to his clothes.
“Try it, you’ll like it,” I told him. I dialed Julia's phone and dragged Phil, kicking and yelling, to the phone. During the long beeps, he covered his mouth with his hand, refusing to speak.
- I will never cook for you again! - I threatened. It didn't work.
- I will never introduce you to any woman again! I added.
"Uh … Julia?" Hello, he said. “I'm a friend of Layle, and… Julia came the next evening and did a full wardrobe analysis for Phil. The evening turned into a solid kaka phony of several phrases:
- Leave it.
- Throw it away.
- Leave it.
- Lord, never put this on!
- Oh, that's great!
- And this suits you very much.
- Forget about it and think!
“That goes right there.
- It looks great with that.
- But it will look great with these trousers. When all this was over and Julia left, Phil fell onto the couch heaped with clothes. I calculated how much money he saved and told him: "For the few tens of dollars that you paid Julia, you will be forever saved from buying new clothes - just take care of what you already have."
He groaned. I could tell him that some part of his mind made him go back several decades when his mother told him: “Phil, change your shirt. You look like a chimney sweep! " I asked him if he liked the evening. He replied:
- Yes, how would I live on, not knowing that gray and black suit me? Is brown and beige just a nightmare? Even my best friends would never admit to me that red is great for everyday wear, and in blue, girls will only take me for a corpse!
“Stop talking nonsense, Phil. You know it was good for you. - I regarded his growl as a sure sign of happiness. At least I'm sure that this is exactly the feeling that the Salvation Army experienced when he brought them three bags of clothes, about which Julia said: "Forget about that!"
I could go on and on. However, I will pity you and just say: make sure your "packaging" - from the first glance to the smell - is carefully calibrated to attract exactly the girls you need. And, unless you are an expert in fashion, as well as human nature and what others find appropriate and attractive, leave this task to a professional.
Are you still persisting and doing everything yourself? Well, I can threaten you exactly the same as Phil. At least check out the best book I've come across on the subject. It's called The Power of Everyday Life by Sherri Maiso Nave. And, if you’re not the bummer to stubbornly wear a baseball cap with a peak back and jeans patched on your knees, the book will serve you well.
But there is one turning point in your life when - I'm sure! - you have to make a great choice: boxer shorts or swimming trunks? Narrow swimming trunks or ordinary ones? Solid boxers or bright, kaleidoscopic patterns of glow-in-the-dark Playboy bunnies?
Despite millions of years of sexual evolution, men and women still perceive romance differently. Even if you only went out hunting for a girl for one night, do not be like an attire of an unmade bed. Dress as if you are about to be interviewed for the role of her husband.
According to the results of the Official Research of the participants of the seminar of Dr. Lowndes, I can say that women prefer to see high-quality (clean!) Swimming trunks on a man. But not too narrow. Unless you're Brad Pitt, he can. However, I was distracted.
Oh yeah, the last clue. Do not sprinkle perfume on intimate places before the first date. A fragrance from this region will clearly demonstrate that you expect exposure too early, more appropriate, rather, in the southern regions of the country.
Carefully! Your house is full of traps!
Sooner or later, a lady will certainly want to see one of the most significant symbols of your sexuality. (No, not the one you thought of.) I mean your home. For her, this is not just a visit to your bed, but an orientation trip. Nothing is hidden from her eagle's gaze. If she finds that something is wrong, it could be the end of your relationship.
You tidy up in a hurry, toss all your dirty shirts to the bottom of the closet, toss your hardened socks under the bed, and diligently figure out how the vacuum cleaner your mom gave you for your birthday two years ago works.
Your lady arrives, and as you head into the kitchen for two glasses of wine, lemonade, or beer for both of you, she is scouring the house for your identity like a German shepherd trained to find drugs at the airport.
At some point, she will certainly want to use the bathroom. You can be sure the lady will look into your first aid kit. What will she find there? Ten packs of condoms will fall out? Will there be a sedative? Find out your other friend's lipstick and nail polish? I advise you to choose absolutely everything from your first aid kit, chest of drawers and from under the bed, and shove this stuff into the bottom of the closet. If the lady is going to stay alone at your house for a while, bury everything in the backyard.
Once I had to go through my lover's bedroom to get to the only bathroom in the house. He just gave me a heartfelt speech about the fact that for more than two years he had not entered into intimate relationships with women. I glanced at the table by his bed and found a pair of false eyelashes glued to the side. (They were obviously taken off in the dark and glued on yesterday the day before yesterday because the glue wouldn't last long.)
Absolutely everything will tell about your nature - even what kind of toilet paper is hanging in your bathroom. Which one do you use - the more expensive soft velvety variety or the cheapest one that scratches the body like newspaper?