Many fathers are jealous of the husbands of their own daughters, which gives rise to numerous conflicts. How to build a good relationship with your father-in-law?
Much has been said about the relationship between a son-in-law and a mother-in-law. How many anecdotes exist on this delicate topic. Everyone knows the phrase about how "they buried their mother-in-law, broke two button accordions." And almost everyone finds it funny. It is worth admitting that there are indeed many funny moments in the relationship between mother-in-law and son-in-law. However, there are also plenty of tragic stories.
But for some reason, the relationship between a son-in-law and a father-in-law is bypassed in most cases. As if there is no such interesting family member as a father-in-law. It is clear that in our country many men do not even live up to 60 years old, but this does not mean at all that the father-in-law has already become extinct as a species.
Despite the fact that there are no jokes and anecdotes on the topic of the relationship between a son-in-law and a father-in-law, the topic is not the simplest one. Because many fathers are jealous of the husbands of their own daughters, quite often they feel that their daughters are not as happy with their spouse as they deserve.
It is clear that misunderstandings and even quarrels can arise in the relationship between a son-in-law and a father-in-law.
The first problem. If the father-in-law is technically savvy and, as they say, a jack of all trades, then he may have complaints about his son-in-law, who belongs to the humanities and cannot assemble any complex mechanism. The father-in-law will surely tell everyone that his son-in-law is simply “not a man” and cannot do anything about the housework - neither fix the food processor, nor wire new wiring, nor change the oil in the car. Such claims can only be annoying. Especially if the son-in-law is young and quick-tempered, big and long-term scandals are possible.
The exact same situation will inevitably arise if a father-in-law with a humanitarian or philosophical mindset and nature comes across a son-in-law who only knows that he is digging in cars, electrical wiring and broken household appliances. The problems will be the same - with the only difference that this time the father-in-law will be convinced: he got a too “stupid and limited” son-in-law. It is clear that problems and scandals will arise here, which can lead to serious complications in the relationship between the son-in-law and the father-in-law.
The second problem. It also happens that the son-in-law from the first meeting begins to treat his father-in-law with disdain and never listens even to his correct advice. Quite simply, it ignores them. If the father-in-law is a domineering person, then he will never forgive such disrespect to himself and will certainly begin to intrigue against his son-in-law, he will try to turn his daughter against him.
In fairness, it should be noted that the father-in-law often listens only to himself and lives by the principle: “There are only two opinions. One is mine and the other is wrong. " In this case, conflicts are also inevitable.
The third problem. But the most serious situation is when it seems to the father-in-law that the son-in-law does not love his wife very much, that is, his daughter. In this case, claims and accusations will certainly follow. It can even get to a fight - especially if the accusations are unfounded.
However, all problems are solvable. But only if both sides want to settle the conflict that has arisen. Here are the ways out of a difficult situation.
The first exit. A son-in-law should not oppose himself to his father-in-law from the very beginning, just as a father-in-law should not oppose himself to a son-in-law. If both sides moderate their ambitions a little, then life in the family will be more peaceful than with the opposite development of events.
Second exit. The best course of events is if the husband and wife live separately from their parents and only visit each other. In this case, communication between the son-in-law and the father-in-law will be minimized, which means there will be fewer reasons for a serious conflict or quarrel.
In general, both the son-in-law and the father-in-law must be remembered - despite all the problems, friction and conflicts, they remain relatives. Even if not by blood, but still. If the son-in-law and the father-in-law are in conflict with each other, then nothing good will come of it. Moreover, if the father-in-law begins to get involved in the life of a young family, this can lead to its disintegration. Therefore, a father-in-law should always act according to the principle "Do no harm!" And not really push, even if his son-in-law is not quite to his heart.
Parents can visit young people, but they should never try to get involved in the affairs of a young family. Unless, of course, the young themselves do not ask for advice from experienced relatives.
The same applies to the situation where the husband and wife live with the wife's parents under the same roof. In general, more patience and calmness - then the relationship between the son-in-law and the father-in-law will be calm and cloudless.