People are looking for happiness far beyond the seas and do not know the main thing. To understand how to become a happy person, it is enough to look at absolutely happy people.
All that we see is only one appearance. Far from the surface of the world to the bottom. Consider the obvious in the world insignificant, for the secret essence of things is not visible. (Omar Khayyam)
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The question in the headline may seem primitive and stupid at first glance, since most people think they know the answer. Usually men answer this question, and recently an increasing number of women declare that they simply do not have enough money for complete happiness. But this is a delusion in which they are all their lives. In connection with this state of affairs, I was forced to build my logic around such beliefs. I sincerely hope that this article will lead you to a new understanding of the world around you.
People are looking for happiness far beyond the seas and do not even think to look into themselves. To understand how to become a happy person, it is enough to look at absolutely happy people. Are there such people, you ask? There is! And the happiest people on earth are children. Children are not looking for happiness anywhere, they are happy with everything that surrounds them. A child can chase a disposable bag in the wind with a stick, and from this be so happy and satisfied with life that the richest people on the planet would envy him. But this I mean that the rich also cry, which means that money is not happiness.
As we grow up, society (radio, television, fashion magazines and all kinds of advertising) gradually lays in us a generally accepted and standard vision of happiness. In addition to all this, everyone around us is expecting and demanding something. And now "VOIL", the goal of the system has been achieved! We demand this of ourselves. Hooray! Finally we are adults! We can spend a lot of time and money trying to live up to someone's standards.
Now we know what it takes to be happy! Expensive videos, a powerful computer, fashionable clothes, a hole cutter, a fast car, a cottage by the ocean, continue? With pleasure! But first, answer me one question. Are you sure that you did not succumb to all this external entourage (beads), and that your idea of happiness was not distorted and blurred by standards? Which, by the way, are constantly increasing and require more and more efforts and energy from us. Well, okay, it's all lyrics, I'd rather give an example of a typical family that lives by the rules of the system.
A typical family has many chairs, tables, beds, a washing machine, two or more TVs with DVD players, and a computer. In the kitchen there is an oven, microwave, refrigerator, blender, food processor, coffee machine, kettle and so many pots and various dishes and cutlery that it is impossible to count them.
There is also a computer with a printer, a telephone, as well as calculators, musical instruments and many art objects. In addition to paintings and reproductions, there are vases, stamps, figurines and framed photographs.
The bathroom includes a hairdryer, electric toothbrushes and razors. The shelves are full of towels, hygiene and cosmetics. The closets are full of various clothes and shoes: dresses, suits, trousers, shirts, shoes, boots, sneakers, etc.
But there is also jewelry: in addition to wristwatches and rings, as a rule, there is a lot of all kinds of jewelry: beads, necklaces, earrings, and earrings, earrings, earrings. The rooms are full of books, magazines, CDs. There are carpets on the floors, and all kinds of furniture are placed around the house. Artificial flowers are often seen. The garage contains sports equipment such as bicycles and ligatures, as well as suitcases and various tools.
If you are a typical consumer, then you probably didn't always have so many things. Probably there was a time in your life when you could put all your belongings in a car and rush off to meet the sun. Now, to transport your own things, you hire trucks and invite your friends to help you load it all … It's funny, isn't it?
In our time, the sense of life has become false. We experience pleasure in the shopping process and this replaces us with a taste of life itself (the taste of happiness). But the problem is that this moment does not last long, the pleasure is associated with specific circumstances, so you want to shop again and again in order to experience this pleasure again and again.
One person is born on earth every 15 seconds. Every 18, one person dies. A person knows that he will die and more than anything in the world he is afraid of this knowledge. Sometimes he is so afraid that he ceases to rejoice, love, build relationships, cease to live. Tell me, what kind of happiness can we talk about in this case? Here, a huge role is played by the fact that subconsciously a person is afraid not, how much of death itself, how much of losing everything that he has gained in his life, for which he spent the bulk of his strength, time and energy. You can't attach a trailer to a coffin, can you?
Here you might be asking, "I suppose you have a bunch of things yourself?" No, this is absolutely not the case. In the room I have a couch, a couple of grandfather's paintings, a table and a computer that I need for work. My sister turned out to be more conservative. Her room is busy, her room is full of everything, which is why her children come to play in my room. They don't need all this stuff, all this stuff. And now, behind my back, the whole floor is strewn with toys, children are playing, and I am writing this article for you.
So, now that we know that happiness is not material, and money cannot be measured, because happiness is not money, but a state of mind - believe me, the pursuit of trinkets has not made a single person happy.
Why are we unhappy?
Think about what you would be thinking if you knew you had a couple of hours left to live? Maybe about money? Career? Car? Would all this warm your soul at a moment like this? No! All this would not seem significant to you. So why do we spend all our lives a lot of strength and energy to be better than others, or like everyone else.
Steve Jobs, owning Apple and being one of the richest people in the world, went to the presentation of new products in old shabby jeans and everyone just admired it. They admired the fact that a person challenges the system, breaks the foundations and destroys stereotypes.
Where does it come from?
All this desire for everything fashionable, for everything expensive, stems from the fact that people think too much about how others evaluate them. At the age of 18, it seems to us that everyone is looking at us and everyone is thinking about us. At 30 - 40 years old, we begin to think, "What do I care what they think of me." And at 60, we realize that no one needs us anymore!
Self-importance weakens and makes us vulnerable. We pay too much attention to thinking. Think less, feel more. Others don't care about you. They simply compare their failures to yours. That's all.
How can you avoid this?
In fact, this distorted vision of happiness is very difficult to correct, but it may never be too late. The thing is that many of us do not need the happiness that is advertised in the media, and about which everyone is raving. You will not learn about any stress and depression, or you will safely forget if you throw off the burden of other people's desires and goals inspired from the outside.
Take a break from your daily routine and watch the sunrise or sunset. Learn to take pleasure in what you accept as routine. And only then will you find the answer to the question of how to become happy.
In other words, the main thing is to understand that what is good and pleasant to others may not be right for you at all. I think many of you will find such examples when someone enthusiastically tells you about something, offers you something, and you, even without giving yourself time to analyze the situation and listen to yourself and your needs, begin to strive for other people's goals (I want that too). And after a while, you wonder why you are increasingly in a bad mood, a drain of energy and a reluctance to do anything at all.
In this case, try to analyze your life and the goals towards which you are moving, perhaps there are a couple that you will gladly refuse and immediately feel a surge of strength, energy and feel how your mood has improved.
Each of us has our own needs, our dreams and our goals. Become yourself. You don't have to try to become like someone else. Take care of yourself, put yourself in order. Remember how you feel when you steamed out of the sauna or bathroom? The soul is so easy. They also say “Like a cucumber!”.
Try to remember and maintain this state in yourself. Do what you love, what is it? Maybe you enjoy rollerblading in the park, singing, dancing, painting, etc. If all these years you have spent your time and energy trying to earn money to acquire things that are far from always necessary for you, then maybe it's time to change something? You don't want to feel like just a printed copy, but not the best quality?
Now let's summarize. To be happy, at least:
You need to do what you love.
We need to accept ourselves as we are.
We need to forgive the people around us and ourselves.
You need to stop comparing yourself to other people.
You need to break away from routine affairs and live in the present.
And, you don't need to fill your life with false and imposed dreams.
I hope now you know what it takes to be happy. True, if you noticed, I did not say a word about such joys in life as family, children, etc. In general, about everything without which a full and happy life is almost impossible. The thing is that I have neither a wonderful wife nor wonderful children. And I could not afford to discuss such moments that, as you understand, are directly related to our happiness.
If you're wondering if I'm happy? I will tell you - absolutely happy! After all, I know that for happiness, a clean bed, a bowl of soup and the opportunity to do what I love is enough for me. In my case, this is to write to you all these kalyaks - malyaks, to share my thoughts with you. Moreover, to all this, to receive money for it. Well, and everything else, as you hopefully understand, is just my desires and goals, towards which I am slowly but surely going. Wife children? Well, not all at once, everything has its time. I am in no hurry to live. Many people in their 40s are just starting to live. They have children, grandchildren, cars, summer cottages, dreams come true in one word. Fates are different, but all are somewhat similar. If you have anything to say about this, then don't hesitate! Express your opinion in the comments. After all, the topic is such that it is quite difficult to take into account all the points in one article. Although, on the other hand, I could put the meaning of this whole article in one sentence.
Here it is
Do you want to be a happy person? Then give up what makes you unhappy and be happy.
Photo: Vincent Boiteau flickr.com/2dogs_productions
