Various psychological trainings for personal growth, business training courses or communication trainings are very popular now. All of them, one way or another, lie.
Personal growth training is very popular right now. And we at least once, but fell for this sweet bait. Of course, who doesn't want to be rich, famous, happy and, of course, smart! And even if we ourselves did not decide to attend at least one training, then the corporation surely cares about the personal development of each employee.
I do not want to say that all this is complete nonsense, and you will be wasting a very round sum. Some people are lucky with their personal trainers, and they really make a big difference in their lives. But usually only a few of these come out of the whole group. However, as mentioned above, this business is now very popular and many gurus in this area, in order to earn not only bread and butter, but also sausage, go to small tricks. And these tricks work. How? Mike Bandrat, Director of the iNLP Center, will tell us about this.
Lie # 1: You Can Get Anything You Want
To have everything you want in your life sounds just like in a fairy tale about the Goldfish. And people like to believe in fairy tales, because life is a rather complicated thing and not always fair. A fairy tale and rose-colored glasses soften the cruel reality. And even if you deeply understand that this does not happen, you still want to believe in it. Because this belief gives hope that everything can change dramatically and the frog will suddenly become a prince, and the trough will turn into a luxury yacht.
On the one hand, what's wrong with kindling a person like this, giving him hope ?! He's really starting to change his life for the better! But the problem is that in real life, getting everything you want is simply unrealistic. If only because a simple human life is not enough for this. If an elephant has stepped in your ear, you can attend a thousand courses, study with the most eminent teachers, but you absolutely have no chance of becoming the second Pavarotti or Bach. You cannot become a professional diver if you have problems with the nasopharynx, and you suffer from persistent otitis media and sinusitis - you simply cannot physically. Yes, you can get even one step closer, but no more. There are dreams that will never come true. Unless you meet a fairy.
Some people sensibly assess their capabilities and set realistic goals and little by little. For example, losing weight, starting dancing, starting a business, starting traveling, adopting Buddhism and leaving for Nepal are real goals. But those who do not understand that not the whole fairy tale comes true, after realizing this sad fact, begin to suffer even more.
That is, on the one hand, sweet-voiced personal growth coaches do not seem to lie, but simply embellish a little. I would even say they use hyperbole to express more vivid emotions. And people believe, and they line up for their seminars in huge queues. Because it is very pleasant to think that after that you will be able to get everything you want from life.
Lie # 2: Change Is Easy
Who Said Changing Is Easy? Change is always difficult. Even positive ones. In order to change something, you need to step out of your comfort zone and sacrifice something. Depending on the size of this sacrifice, you will either feel the effect of the changes very strongly, or you will hardly notice it (like a mosquito bite or a prick).
The more you sacrifice for change, the better your chances of success. If you want to lose weight, you need to give up your favorite food, if you want financial stability, you need to tighten the strap and cut back on your expenses (of course, for your favorite part - entertainment or hobby). But this approach is not for sale. Think about which book you would choose: the one on the cover of which the author promises you easy changes on the path to a successful life, or the one whose author tells you about the difficult decisions you will need to make and the hardships ahead?
Therefore, in the brochure for the next seminar, you will read "Changes is easy and pleasant", and not something like "You will have to give up a lot and make a lot of unpleasant decisions." Remember that by changing something, you are sure to sacrifice something.
Lie # 3: Mastery Comes Fast
You can become a professional pretty quickly. But in order to become a real master, it takes years, and sometimes decades. If you are talented, you have every chance of being able to quickly master the necessary skills. But all the same, in one year you will not become a master of your craft. For this, in addition to talent, experience is also needed. Experience only comes with time. And at the same time, constant development in your chosen field is desirable - attending courses, seminars, training with real masters.
Becoming a master quickly is another golden bait that everyone, without exception, pecks on. Because no one wants to think about spending a lot of time and money. And it is not yet known when all this will pay off. We live in a time when some things happen faster than the flight of thought. We are always in a hurry, so getting the title of master almost instantly is very, very tempting.
A rather vivid example is the now fashionable hand-made. Young ladies, after attending just a few master classes or taking a short course on, for example, decoupage, slipping a couple of handicrafts for gifts to relatives or friends and receiving a lot of compliments from them (and the echoing chorus in a cozy gum), decide that they are quite ready to teach this skill to others. As a result, we have a huge number of different courses and master classes from people whose masterpieces belong in the pantry. Others buy at lower prices, come in, get nothing, and leave to look for the necessary information on youtube.
The same is happening now in SMM. I will not tell jokes about algebra. Although, I can't help but notice that in this situation, impudence is really the second happiness. But more on that in another article.
Lie # 4: You Can Program Your Mind For Success
From the fact that you stand in front of the mirror every morning and repeat your personal mantra (I am the most attractive and charming), nothing much will change around. Why? Because humans are not robots. They cannot be programmed so that they strictly follow a given program. For raising self-esteem, at least for the first time, and adding determination, these tools can be very helpful. But it's still not forever. You won't be able to stick to the set program all the time. Since we are quite emotional creatures, it often fails. And for that, something terrible doesn't have to happen. It's just that you didn't get enough sleep, it was raining in the morning, on the shooter's new claws (the neighbor propped up your car so that he would not leave), etc. - and that's it, you forget about success and positive. You just feel like screaming.
In this situation, your perseverance, passion, patience and a great desire for change are much more important.
Lie # 5: All you have to do is …
And then there are the instructions of a guru who is trying to sell you his program and thereby put you on his system and make more money. What worked with him may not necessarily work the same with you. Each of us has its own path to success and its own key. You cannot be limited to one. You need to read other books, attend different seminars, and from all this choose, bit by bit, what is ideal for you.
When psychology and the magic of words merge together, we are ready to buy into any lie that will be presented to us in a beautiful package with a festive bow of a master of his craft. It's time to stop waiting for a good wizard to arrive in a helicopter and take us by the hand along the ready and bright path to the same tempting and bright future.
Photo: Daniel Zedda flickr.com/astragony