How not to be unhappy
How not to be unhappy

Unhappy people have habits that lead them to a dead end. Common habits of unhappy people and how to get rid of them.

We talk a lot about happiness, about how to achieve this state and stay in it for longer. In the end, it's about how to be happy always and not to miss it even for a second. Happiness is a very ephemeral concept: everyone knows about it, sometimes they feel it, but only a few moments pass and you are no longer sure whether you were happy. Or was he happy, but compared to what?

In general, the definition of happiness and the level of happiness is a complex and individual matter, as are the concepts of unhappiness. But there are general paths to reaching the last state, which lead us to very unpleasant sensations. By identifying them in our behavior, we can help ourselves to be happy even for a moment longer.

So what are the common paths to feeling miserable for everyone? Henrik Edberg, author of The Positivity Blog, has counted 7 main ones so far.

1. Striving for excellence

It's always difficult if you are a perfectionist. It is very difficult for such a person to achieve a state of happiness, because even the path of achievement must be ideal. There will always be someone who, in the understanding of a perfectionist, is still better in something - a house, an apartment, a career, a family, a hairstyle, in the end. Moments of happiness for such a person are very fleeting and rare - only when he felt that he had done something perfectly, and until he saw that someone had done it even better.

How to develop the right brain hemisphere?
How to develop the right brain hemisphere?

2. Communication with people who are always dissatisfied with something

Man is a social being. We cannot completely renounce other people and live as hermits, listening to no one and nothing. Those with whom we communicate have more influence on us.

How can you be happy if people around you constantly say that life is terrible and mostly unfair and cruel? It is one thing when such things are said on the case (the situation in the country, crisis, etc.), but it is quite another when such thoughts and opinions are predominant and concern absolutely everything. It is better to avoid such interlocutors and exclude this information noise from your field. If this is your inner voice, then you will have to seriously work on yourself.

3. Constant thoughts about the past and the future

Everyone knows the rule "here and now". Concentrating on thoughts about the future or the past, we lose the sensation of the moment that occurs in the most important time, in the time "now". We are almost always obsessed with something negative, and much less often we remember pleasant moments. Usually these are thoughts about why something did not work out for us, why we were refused, why we did not do it right, and what was generally right at that moment. Old grievances, failures - all this bites off a savory piece of our feeling of happiness "here and now." How can you be happy remembering and analyzing your failures? There is a time for everything - we feel sad, analyzed, made conclusions and move forward!

How to believe in yourself? It all starts with believing in yourself
How to believe in yourself? It all starts with believing in yourself

4. Comparing yourself and your life with others

The other is always better off, even if in other aspects of life it may be much worse than yours. In general, the constant comparison of yourself with someone is not a good habit. And the more often you are better, the more painful it will be if someone is better than you. Often people generally begin to compare themselves with a huge number of others, and everyone will definitely find something better. As a result, your self-esteem may fall below the baseboard. And if this repeats itself often enough, then an appointment with a psychiatrist and the loss of friends are guaranteed to you.

5. Focusing on negative moments in life

You don't have to go far - go to your grandmother or stand in line, where there are many retirees and aunts of pre-retirement age who get the main news from TV programs and radio. As a result, all the talk about constantly stealing, killing, firing from work and "best" friends taking away other people's husbands and wives from under their noses. This is followed by a monologue on the topic “There was no such thing during the USSR”. But normal people treat this calmly and with a slight apprehension, realizing that this is part of life. Grandmother lives in this every day, and this news for her is life itself. Yes, you won't envy the lives of our grandmothers, but we still have the strength to change something. For example, stop dwelling on negative things.

6. Dependence on the opinions of others

Who will I be in 10 years
Who will I be in 10 years

Before you do something, you always think: "What will people think (say)?" You may feel that you are the center of attention of some people, and by breaking the standard boundaries and standard behavior, you will trigger a mechanism of condemnation.

If you are trying to do something new, you are doing it in secret from your society. You may think that you are the source of the negative reaction of others, absolutely not thinking about the fact that maybe someone just had a difficult week. Constant glancing back and a sidelong glance at others (what will they say, how will they react?) Very clearly interferes with personal development. And since it interferes with development, it means that it interferes with being happy.

7. The complication of life

Life is very interesting and at the same time incredibly difficult. But the most interesting thing is that we create most of all the difficulties and "insurmountable" obstacles for ourselves. Some are simply obsessed with the "if, then" algorithm in its most negative manifestation.

How not to be unhappy
How not to be unhappy

What can we do about it?

- curb your perfectionism and set clear deadlines for yourself, realizing exactly how much you are investing and what you will get in the end;

- try to protect yourself from the negative at least TV and radio, limit communication with "Eeyore donkeys" and find new friends with positive thinking;

- learn to let go on time; stop constantly comparing yourself with others and switch to comparing yourself today with yourself yesterday, and become a little kinder;

How to develop intuition? Exercises to develop latent abilities
How to develop intuition? Exercises to develop latent abilities

- learn to find more positive around, even in small things;

- do not look back at someone else's opinion, striving for self-development and expansion of your consciousness;

- not complicate life for yourself and others, starting at least to get rid of the trash in the apartment (and at the same time in the head);

- try to avoid unnecessary conflicts, spend more time with friends, enjoy walks and breathe deeply, banishing stress and negative thoughts from yourself!

Photo: Vincent Boiteau

"Private Correspondent"

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