If you are a white crow … Find the only spark of individuality that distinguishes you from other people and kindle it with all your might.
Probably, it all started then, in childhood, when you timidly and quietly studied at school, came home, immediately sat down to study, and after you were waiting for a computer that understood everything and a stupid TV. Even then, you began to think that the ringing bell for recess was not calling you, but your classmates, that you, by the will of fate, spend all your free time with yourself. Scientists-psychologists call the first age of the "white crow" 7-8 years, when a child simply does not join the team, when his games alone make him hope for the best and wait for the parents to solve this problem. But, probably, the only close people who can help the child in this situation, and there are parents - they can turn to a child psychologist for help if their participation in this problem has not led to anything.
Everything can continue until adolescence - when the problem "not like everyone else" becomes even more acute. Moreover, if it flowed smoothly from year to year, it’s like a snowball, the further - the more, the more difficult. Therefore, the second age, which psychologists call, is 15-16 years old. Begins, so to speak, the height of life, when attracts everything unknown, everything that is hidden from adolescents by adults: their reproaches, prohibitions, misunderstanding. In this aspect, schoolchildren can be conditionally divided into three groups. The first group tries to try everything, violates prohibitions, encounters a misunderstanding of parents and teachers, “do not care” towards learning manifests itself sharply and aggressively. The second group exists peacefully, sometimes surprising with their outbursts of emotions and actions. Studying is in the foreground, partying takes an intermediate position between home and school, sometimes you can afford to drink a beer, take a drag on a cigarette, as young people say: “I’m not intoxicated,” or “yes, I may not smoke”. Well, the third group, the smallest in number, implies "white crows" who are worried, are in constant fear that, probably, something is wrong in them, since they do not want it, or they just spit on everything, doing their opinion, more correct deeds. In fact, this age is dangerous and not only because of drugs, alcohol and cigarettes (with which young people are so fond of frightening), it is, of course, too, but still what is going on in the soul of a teenager, in his head, when he sees his classmate kissing a girl, laughing and making fun of peers passing by - that's what you need to pay attention to. But, on the other hand, how to pay attention to this, if, by their very nature, "white crows" are closed from everyone and do not let anyone into their world. Two problems: either the person himself does not want everything that society offers him (in this case, partying, kissing in the moonlight, talking in the school corridor about sex and condoms), or this society simply does not call him to itself (formed companies, traditions established there, their rules, their own "little things", for example, if you don't drink vodka, or you don't send a chemistry teacher). In the first case, you need to look for the reason in what surrounds the teenager. When found, it is necessary to create such conditions so that the person feels at ease, self-confident. Example: he did not like much that surrounded him: these endless drinking in the entrance, which was arranged by his classmates, or terrible jokes addressed to the adult generation. Way out: let him choose what he likes. Maybe a guitar, maybe motorcycles, but not the Internet or computer games. Then he will quite consciously find himself friends, like-minded people, who, perhaps, will later be able to explain to him that this is how young people live - beer, thoughts about adulthood, etc. It is true, there is no getting away from this, as long as schoolchildren are allowed to do this by the law and by their parents. In the second case, most likely, the teenager himself is to blame, well, and a small percentage of the fact that society is too bad, not decent. It makes no sense to look for approaches to those companies. You need to earn respect, trust, authority, if you like. This path is long and takes a lot of energy.
Probably the most difficult and important thing is to get the opposite sex to consider you "good", but at the same time cool and "the first guy in the village." This comes with age, but not always, unfortunately. After all, even dry boys-students sometimes look far from "macho" in the eyes of fellow students and cause nothing but pity. To change, you need to want it badly. Revise your wardrobe, add a little sporty, business style, while not deviating from the youth canons. Even if you do not drink, do not smoke, but going to cafes and clubs is not unnatural. This is normal, all young people live like this. Juices, non-alcoholic cocktails, doupadu dances are just a burst of energy that a young body needs, and there is nothing reprehensible in this. In the evenings on weekdays - books, preparation for studies, and on weekends take a vacation to the mind and body. But the most offensive and unpleasant thing about this is that most of the guys who recognize this nightlife begin to drink a lot, abandon their favorite business, if any. The main thing here is to find the "golden mean".
In general, in fact, you can become a "black sheep" in adulthood. But the advantage of an adult is great - it is the intelligence, wisdom and experience that come over the years, and make this problem solvable in most cases.
All Ford cars are exactly the same, but no two people are exactly the same. Each new life is something new under the sun; nothing has ever been exactly the same and never will be. A young man should look at himself in this way - he should look for that single spark of individuality that distinguishes him from other people, and kindle it with all his might. Society and schools can try to extinguish this spark, they want to cut everyone with the same brush, and I say: don't let the spark go out - this is your only real reason to play an important role. Henry Ford.
