I say little, I cook deliciously, I don't have a headache! Well, how did you not see all this, then? Come back and get married! Uh, I'm damn young, smart, promising, hardworking and hard-working. Even the most tolerant readers will not have enough patience to list my merits. I have many talents and virtues, including I cook well, respect elders, not too talkative, put things in order and cleanliness quickly, quietly and efficiently. I am selfless, decent, reasonable, charming, kind and understanding. One of my finest qualities is the ability to listen and the ability to remain silent in time. I have a great future, in view of the fact that I am a talented person not only in life, but also in my field of activity.
I am well-read and have seen enough. I know that Rilke and Lorca are poets, and Kafka is a prose writer. And also the fact that Max Frisch is still alive, and his best book "I will call myself Gantenbein", the word "coffee" is masculine, in the word "Picasso" the stress is on the second syllable, and in the word "Balmont" - on the first. I write almost without grammatical (and punctuation, and stylistic) mistakes - especially when necessary. I know in which case "TCHYA" is written, and in which "TCHYA", as well as the fact that girls are written with "O" in bricks. I also remember all the exceptions from the "CI". I have a broad outlook, which is wider and wider every day. I am pouring out new, original and absolutely amazing ideas, I hope to collect all possible awards in the world soon. I know that sugar is not “put down”, but “put”, how to behave in public places, that in general, socks should be worn to match the color of the tie, and eyebrows should be painted to match the color of the laces on the shoes. I have a great sense of humor! I know that Freud’s name is Sigmund and that he paired everyone - because I read his work. I know the name of Dantes, who shot at Pushkin, and the name of Dantes, who is "The Count of Monte Cristo." I also know what a "bifurcation point", "laccolith" is and how "madrigal" differs from "marginal" (as well as from margarine, daisies, potassium permanganate). I remember all three laws of thermodynamics. The number of proverbs and sayings familiar to me is in the thousands. At school, I won the regional literature Olympiad. I never argue - if I am not sure that I am right - just for the sake of arguing. Quite often I visit the theater, as well as the Tchaikovsky Hall and the Conservatory. Yes, I know how Tchaikovsky differs from Chukovsky - although everyone probably knows this. I don’t play cards, I don’t smoke, I don’t drink, I don’t use foul language or I manage to do it so that no one knows. I have a light hand, and all the seeds I have sown grow quickly and bushy. I can not be accused of being too correct or mediocre.
I believe that "The Master and Margarita" can be liked by extremely stupid people, as well as fantasy fans - for Bulgakov, this is one of the most mediocre works. The word "pathos" is applicable to me exclusively in the meaning of "emotional sublimity, inspiration." I have a deep knowledge of phonetics, vocabulary and grammar of the English language. On the topic "phoneme" I can talk endlessly, if asked, of course. I have an inborn gift of rhetoric, the gift of persuasion. People trust me - because you can trust me. I love children and animals. I especially love animals and really feel sorry for them - that's why I'm vegan, i.e. I do not eat meat, dairy products, honey, eggs, fish. But I do not blame others, because everyone is free to choose their own path. Among Malevich's paintings I can name not only the "black square", but among the paintings of Van Gogh - not only "sunflowers". I know what a caliper and a curvimeter are for. I guess in which hand a gentleman should hold a fork, if in his right he is holding a cutlet. I know how to hang pictures evenly, draw evenly and cut exactly. I know how to convert oxygen into carbon dioxide through the nose. I speak and read fluently in Russian and English, on request I can also sing. I sing well, the range is more than two octaves, I hit the notes. Tap-dance - I can improvise. I play the guitar, I know a lot of songs. I am not just a walking dictionary and reference book, but also a morally highly striking person with an excellent sense of tact, knowledge of etiquette and spiritual qualities. I have a wonderful character, and so does my mother. Empathy and tolerance are well developed. Besides, natural modesty.
Well, how did you not see all this, then? Come back and get married!