A man driving is almost like a man with a gun in terms of sexual associations.
"The Arbatovites did not imagine how it was possible to use a car sober, and considered Kozlevich's car a nest of debauchery, where one must behave in a swaggering manner, utter obscene screams and generally burn life." - I. Ilf and E. Petrov "The Golden Calf"
The car has long been an integral part of love relationships.
In America, for example, a guy buys a used car before he reaches the driving age. It's like puberty, which comes much earlier than the moment when you are given the first time.
And the first kiss, as a rule, takes place in the first old "Chevrolet" or "Buick" under the auspices of the American deity of all lovers - the iron Saint Valentine
By the way, in American cars, the gearshift knob does not interfere at all with the first touches on the front seats. Because it usually does not exist at all. Most older American cars have an automatic gearbox on the steering wheel.
Naturally, this is also a Freudian symbol. Maybe that's why big cars are so fond of here?
The car even formed its own love etiquette.
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| Photo: Hello Kit
flickr.com/xissac |
For example, for the first few meetings, you can hug and kiss exclusively in the first row of chairs. An offer to go straight to the back seat can have unpredictable consequences, including calling the police and being accused of attempted rape.
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| Photo: Hello Kit
flickr.com/xissac |
… It seems already somewhere in another dimension, and certainly in another century, only a few modifications of four domestic automobile factories were rolled out across our country. The largest was the Volga, but the most convenient and accessible for the majority was the Zhiguli-kopeck. Only in it the seats, folding out, formed an even bed, without a step. Only there was the hottest stove in it … Ah. Oh. Oh…
Then the Baltic States alone had at least some kind of motel chain. Therefore, most of the detachment of car owners cruised in search of rest and entertainment in this direction. However, many there, in order to save money, preferred to sleep in the salon of a personal car.
In Tallinn, I witnessed an interesting traffic accident. In the early and early morning on the central square of the city, zigzags, twitching, the hunchbacked "Zaporozhets" moved. There was a flagpole in the middle of the square. The national flag was hung on it on holidays. And how much the hunchback did not play tricks, their intercourse was fatally predetermined. "Zaporozhets" gently embraced the pipe of statehood. And he stopped. And immediately from there came a snoring tearing the space.
Through the half-open front window (all the others were hopelessly fogged up) I saw a real nest of debauchery on wheels. There was only one driver's seat in the car, in which a shaggy bearded man with a belly such that, if it were happening now, I would have thought that a security bubble had worked in his pants, slept and snored dead.
And all the rest of the "constipation" was covered with a bunch of people, clumping together on the plywood floor for some reason. I counted no less than seven legs, three different head colors, and four arms on the surface hugging everyone. The clothes in the ball were clearly fewer than the limbs. Somewhere inside him, a mysterious life was clearly still stirring, but on the surface he slept as soundly as a bearded driver with a personal safety bag in his lap …
Still, humanity came up with a universal thing when it invented the car. There are long-known definitions of it both as a luxury and as a means of transportation. It is also a cottage-bed-fortress on wheels. And so on … Various, so to speak, functions.
And in the metaphysical sense, the car really gradually merges with the owner to such an extent that it is already perceived by him as a new mechanical-spiritual substance. Many old-time owners won't lie. Remember that a good old friend began to make clothes, when you were already in dreams and soon, for money, were going to replace him with a younger, faster and more curvaceous one.
He took offense and began to behave in the same way as an old wife, who is abandoned for the sake of a young mistress. And the consequences, in either case, often depended on your entire previous life together.
And if you go further - by performing an act of love in a car, in the astral sense you are having group sex or Swedish love in threesomes, where the car is a full participant in the coitus process. And indeed, he behaves very unpredictably if he does not like your lady of the heart. Directly some kind of duenna on four wheels, vigilantly guarding the owner's morality.
But still, still …
After all, it seems that you will sit behind the wheel, next to your beloved, turn the ignition key, and the harsh reality will remain somewhere far, far away in the outside world, and next, inside, there is only a warm native space. And making small trips around and around the house, you suddenly feel happy, like once in the stomach of my mother …
