You will see that you have not yet begun to truly live, but your life is already leaving and there will be a feeling that you are captured by others and do not belong to yourself at all. Adulthood depends little on age. When do we grow up?
Adulthood depends little on age. When do we grow up? Many never.
Adulthood is psychological maturity, awareness of one's role in the human race. We cannot grow up without learning to overcome existential fear. Not taking responsibility for yourself and others.
I'm talking about responsibility, first of all, for yourself, because you are that part of humanity that you know best.
Or at least this part is available to you more than others. If, without knowing yourself, you start a family, for example, you will inevitably face unforeseen and often insoluble difficulties. You will find that your spouse began to annoy you, as soon as the intensity of passion subsided. You will hear your cry in the children's room, where recently your child made you so happy.
You will see that you have not yet begun to truly live, and your life is already leaving - into growing frustrations. You will get the feeling that you are captured by others and do not belong to yourself at all. But you have been given a life for discovery, so that you can live it in your own way, bringing in something that has not yet existed.
If you know how to take care of yourself - not only physically, but also in a metaphysical sense - it is easier for you to understand and accept others. For in each of us, in fact, the whole world is laid; all the knowledge of generations that hatch in us through intuition almost constantly.
Selfishness, even if it is explained by self-survival, is a very primitive form of existence. If you have accepted this as a way of thinking, selfishness will stall you - not letting you into a higher level of consciousness. Then biological needs will prevail in your life in the same way as in the animal kingdom. This type of self-expression does not lead to a fulfilling life. And the life expectancy of animals is shorter. We humans differ from animals in that we are able to realize and transform ourselves. This does not mean that I deny our biological base. We simply have the ability not to obey only biology, which is inaccessible to animals. How many sports have been invented by humans on land and water, how many technological innovations help us get the most out of athletics. Or eating food - what a fine cuisine every nation has! What kind of dishes! We invent for ourselves and for others. Selfishness is narrow and ultimately self-destructive. It only works for a short time. And then what - a divorce from society, because it does not pander to you in everything?
Altruism is what people came to in the process of evolution in order to survive the race. No one said this better than the brilliant Marina Tsvetaeva: "Until now, humanity is alive by the circular guarantee of good."
Altruism for an individual is caring for the large earthly tribe that gave birth to it. How many lives of unknown heroines and heroes were given for our present comfort. How many generations have been poisoned by poisonous mushrooms, until edible and even necessary for the immune system were selected. How many bridges collapsed before we learned to overcome wide rivers.
How many herbs have been tried until we found medicinal ones. How many houses were demolished by a hurricane before a skyscraper was built on springs.
How many aircraft have crashed before we have mastered flight ?!
From the point of view of an egoist, it is commendable to use people and deceive them for selfish purposes. The egoist considers altruists to be madmen who have not thought of his intricacies. That is, it turns everything upside down, because it is egoism that turns into a mental illness over the years. In this respect, I am worried about an extremely "individualized" society like the United States, where the opinion prevails that the social experiment with free medical care and free education has failed to withstand the pressure of capitalism. From my point of view, this is sad not only for Russia, which is getting out of the cloaca. This is a loss for America as well. If the Nazis once won for a while, this does not mean that fascism was right.
I am not in favor of returning to communal apartments, which are famous for their squabbles. I just want to note that the United States itself sometimes seems like a giant "communal apartment". Everything is naked, everything is in plain sight, like a trash heap brought out.
And no matter how its inhabitants hide in their kennels and villas, their essence is exposed at the slightest conflict. Where else can you find a divorce as hostile and ugly as in the United States? That is, the spiritual connection between people, friendship and respect, placed next to the dollar, turn into dust.
The so-called "individualism" turns into an elementary cruel egoism. In the constant bloody rivalry, envy and jealousy, so characteristic, alas, of Americans - I see the immaturity of the society under discussion and its members. In the worst of times - as it is now in connection with the war in Iraq - the patriarchal church rears its head. Although who has gone further from Christ than Catholic ministers who seduce children - however, the Vatican covered them for decades ?!
Christ matured early and, at 33, lost his life defending the truth. Jeanne d'Arc grew up even earlier - at the age of 19 and, alas, also paid with her life for her principles. The "priests", having outraged Jeanne, then declared her a saint. But who declared them "saints"? And what have these unfounded people learned, apart from being elevated to titles - hypocrisy and powdering the brains of the next generations? However, we can find in history also mature personalities who have lived up to 90 years and have remained by themselves.
Leonardo da Vinci, for example, undoubtedly found the necessary balance. After all, our spiritual growth is unlimited, and Leonardo grew up throughout his long life. This requires only relentless penetration into the realms of science, into the realms of space and into the realms of one's own skull
I myself became an adult quite recently, when I refused to accept handouts from "the powers that be."
If they take care of you, and you accept it, then you involuntarily fall into debt. Many courted me, calling me "pretty." And then one of them raped me. Courts believe that you give them the right to demand concessions from you in your principles and your freedom. Therefore, this is only a semblance of security. Your independence is worth much more than a dinner in an expensive restaurant or even diamonds.
The ability to defend against "defenders" is adulthood. Now I prefer to pay in advance rather than afterwards. At least this way I can control my resources.
Mature people in very different fields of activity have similar traits. They know their capabilities and "impossibilities." This is what gave Maya Plisetskaya to dance on the stage of New York at the age of 70. This also gave strength to Joana Rivers, after her husband's suicide, to attract an estranged daughter to her business and to unite with her in a team. And at the same time remain a beauty at 65 years old. The same can be said about Tina Turner, who was beaten by her husband, and now, at 63, she refuses to marry her young lover. For Tina found herself in the struggle for her talent and her creativity. Everything else is now secondary to her. Look at Yoko Ono, who celebrated her 70th birthday in a miniskirt on the stage of the nightclub where she has been singing for the past 4 years. And believe me, the miniskirt looked better on her than on another 20-year-old girl. The list of people of this kind is lengthening in the 21st century.
There are more of those who reject the false canons of age. Delightful Siegfried and Roy, gorgeous Amanda Lear, amazing Julio Iglesias, Mireille Mathieu, Gurchenko and Cher who looks better than she was at 19.
Lena Horn, who sings sexy at 80! The daring and dedication of these people makes them practically immortal.
Adulthood is not a rejection of childhood - rather the opposite. Remain like children, not in their helplessness, but in their fearlessness. Remain like children, not in their dependence, but in their curiosity. Stay like children, not in their capriciousness, but in their responsiveness. It helps to grow at any age.