Hormones are overwhelming. And such seductive cats are walking around … In general, the head is spinning, the ears are on the top of the head, and the tail, you know, is like a pistol.
My surname is Kotovskikh, so God himself (Egyptian, of course) told me to write about female cats. I know this tribe firsthand and, frankly, I don’t know whether to be happy about this or sad.
I'll start from afar. In 1942, the Americans made a very scary movie "Cat People". The plot is set in the God-blessed (Protestant, of course) United States. The main character of this film is a mysterious and languid beauty from distant Transylvania. And she has a hobby - the lady goes to the zoo, for cultural, so to speak, leisure. The occupation, it would seem, is harmless: just think, the citizen wanted to breathe air, to admire different animals. But no. It turns out that she communicates with one local panther (if you don't know, it's so big, black and with a tail, from the feline family) telepathic, so to speak, makar. Shaped disgrace, and where did the Greenpeace people look?
In addition to this dubious entertainment, our beauty still manages to get acquainted in this very menagerie with one pleasant type, an architect by profession. In short, I cut off such a frame for myself, you just lick your fingers. Well, there is cupid, tuzhur and all that. But don't think what - no sex! So they just walk around, hold on to the handles. She told him so: "I, they say, a decent girl, so before the wedding, no, no."
In general, they got married.
They may have got married, but only the Transylvanian lady of our architect leads and drives everything by the nose. He told her: “Darling, we were here with you in vain, or what? You and I have already been by the hand, it would be time to get down to business. " And she: “My beloved, yacht, the light, so to speak, of the eyes and the joy, by the way, of the heart! I would always, but that's just I'm afraid of this business - passion! Wait a little, I will prepare myself mentally for this and everything will be okay.
Our boy is a gentleman, blue-blooded, in general, an aristocrat to the bone of the brain. He told her in such an intelligently squeezed tenor voice and replies: “As you say, dear. I am not some kind of plebs, I will not harass by force. Whistle as you prepare, I'm all at your disposal."
In general, he waits, waits, but she does not whistle. Around the ladies, appetizing strolls, making eyes at him, and he - as in a tank. He loves his little wife and, even though you crack here, will not exchange her for anyone. And time is running out. He's tired of this business, and he hints at her and says: "Darling, you shouldn't go to a psychiatrist!"
And she: “No question, teddy bear, you are my honey, you are my sugar cane, lumpy sugar. Just do not meddle with me with your nonsense. " And it’s scary to look at the guy: he was yearned, he stopped shaving, his cheeks were hollow, he was looking like a wolf.
Then there was fear, how terrible, even unpleasant to remember. The lady turned out to be psychic, and even a werewolf. She herself turned into a healthy cat and let the honest people around her gnaw. Phew, as you remember, you will shudder so.
I thought this only happens in movies. Whatever it is.
Here, you know, it was March, but for us, the Kotovskys, this is the most unfavorable time in terms of hormones. There are many of them, over the edge. And such seductive cats are walking around … In general, the head is spinning, the ears are on the top of the head, and the tail, you know, is like a pistol.
I liked one young lady: her eyes with a drag, legs from the ears, hands too, in short, everything is in place. I told her: “Let me introduce myself, I am Serge by the name of Kotovskikh. Please love and respect. Preferably right now. " And she: “It’s very nice, Serzhik, I’m Katya-purr. You are very nice, and I will never refuse you. Come on, you will treat me with wine and venison. "What is the cause? We went to a restaurant, drank Malvasia for brotherhood, and ate venison.
And then she was so confidential to me: "Serzhik, but I have no panties on." I was embarrassed, of course, thinking how to help her - my own, perhaps, to borrow? No, I think it's awkward, he'll be offended yet. I just threw up my hands and said: "It's not a problem, Katya-purr, let's go to Children's World, there, they say, there is a sale today." She looked at me strangely and pouted her lips: “Fi, what a silly one. Let's go for a walk better."
We went out into the street, and there, as luck would have it, the rain charged. Well, I have an umbrella with me, thank God (Perun - this time), I was. My umbrella is a noble, big one, it will cover seven. We are coming, which means we are talking about cats. And then she was in my ear: "Serzhik, I'm all wet." And she breathes so hard as if she has bronchitis. And I answer her: "Have mercy, Katya-purr, you are under an umbrella, not a drop fell on you!" And she sharply said: "What are you, a complete idiot?"
I thought she was some kind of nervous, and I say with dignity: “I'm not an idiot at all, Katya-purr. And by the way, my education is university, Cambridge. This is in Australia, if anyone does not know. And by profession I am an astral psychoanalyst with a trans-meditative bias. " Well, I lied, of course, what a sin to conceal, but she seemed to be nothing, swallowed.
Then the rain stopped, and we decided to go to the zoo. We came to the zoo and stared at the macaques and baboons. And then she says: "Let's go look at the wild cats." Why not?
We approach the cage, and there is a sign on it: “Panther, feline family, leopard detachment. Do not touch. Life threatening". And behind bars - such a hefty cochinance walks, wool on end, eyes sparkle and growls in the womb. And it's already evening on the street, the people have dispersed, in general - horror.
And my young lady is here to blurt out: "Serzhik, do not want to play with the pussy, I'm already ready." I confess I flared up. “What are you doing,” I say, “bye-bye, or what, you completely lost your mind ?! Immediately it is written in black and white: “Do not touch with your hands. Life threatening!"
It was then that my Katenka showed her feline nature and let's whip me in the musals. And her claws are sharp, she ruined my whole face. God bless her (let it be Persian this time), with a physiognomy - most importantly, he took his legs! Otherwise she would have gnawed me like a drink.
So I did not get love and affection from my purr - you can see right away that a werewolf is touchy. Well, okay. But he remained intact.
