To be happy is to be a leader in your life and every parent wants their children to fulfill their dreams. The word "leader" is pronounced with great respect in a business environment. So in the minds of parents, the definition of "child-leader" is unambiguously associated with a positive image.
Most often, parents do not think about the fact that the non-standard behavior of the child-leader requires the same non-standard approach from them, from the parents, so that such a child in the future could achieve great results and benefit not only himself, but also the society in which he lives. Ekaterina Vetrova, trainer of the children's department of the Development Agency, answers the questions of our magazine about children-leaders.
Ed.: They say that leadership qualities in a person are innate. But many parents want their children to be leaders. Should they strive for it
KV: At the present time there is a lot of controversy about the innateness of leadership qualities. These discussions bring up a new question: what qualities are considered to be leaders? Psychologists are of the opinion that personal qualities are character traits, and character, as you know, is a phenomenon brought up by society.
In fact, the results of the work show that a huge potential is hidden in people, and in children it develops especially brightly, therefore, anything can be brought up and developed, the main thing is to do it constantly and purposefully.
Ed.: In your opinion, is a child leader a type or uniqueness?
K. V.: I am of the opinion that every person is unique. In children, this uniqueness is especially pronounced, because the older we get, the more frameworks and restrictions society imposes on us. Among the graduates of children's and adolescent leadership trainings that I conduct in different cities, there are not even two children who could be attributed to the same type. They are all unique. They are united by one thing - similar interests and an active life position.
Ed.: Does a child-leader need the attention of parents and peers, or is he completely self-sufficient?
K. V.: Of course, it is necessary. Even necessary! And first of all - parents. Out of ten graduates of my trainings, nine choose to transfer relations with their parents to a new, better level of communication as a personal goal. They choose to approach and find ways to build new friendships with their peers. Modern computer culture divides people. As a result, they don't speak much, which creates communication barriers. Our graduates highly value communication and cooperation, realizing that winning in this life can only be done together!
Ed.: Now they say more and more often that a child needs to be allowed to do everything, otherwise he will not grow up to be a builder of his own destiny? But how, in this case, to inscribe his behavior into society?
KV: Child psychologists have come up with a wonderful formula: tell your baby no more than three "no" per day, and for each of them three "no". Before forbidding a child anything, remember the Bible truth that forbidden fruit is sweet.
The most important thing for children is communication. Believe me, if you cooperate with them, then children show wonderful results of understanding the essence of right and wrong behavior in society. Therefore, it is necessary to talk with children and explain to them what is good and what is bad from the first months of life. At the same time, instilling in the child the social norms of behavior and the morality of the society in which he lives, one should not keep him on a short leash.
Ed.: Increased conflict is inherent in children-leaders. How to deal with this?
K. V.: Perhaps this is not a completely true statement. Child leaders are more independent than obedient children, and this often causes discontent among others. Any conflict that occurs between adults or children has a reason. Therefore, first of all, it is necessary to find out it.
There is perhaps one recipe - not to get involved in the conflict, and in a calm form to look for a way out of it together with the teenager.
Ed.: How does a child-leader behave in a circle of his own kind? Can they build a strong team?
Ed.: Modern parents are increasingly asking the question: how to develop a team feeling in a child-leader?
KV: Turn any action that you and your children do at home (like cleaning or cooking) into a team game: assign responsibilities and define the result you will strive for together. After all, a family for a child is the first team. In addition, there is a huge number of sports sections, dance and theater studios, and trainings (for example, the Leadership Program), where team spirit is also fostered.
Ed.: How to develop the creative component of their character in children-leaders?
K. V.: It's very simple - from an early age to surround with creativity: music, painting, dancing, theater. Suggest any creative activity to choose from. Only in this case you will know exactly what the baby has a soul for. Do not prevent your baby from expressing himself. If he is three years old and he, "reading" the book, makes his own adjustments - draws or tears, then give him literature that you do not mind tearing or spoiling. If you took away the book because it is expensive, then do not be surprised if during his school years he does not like to read.
Ed.: "Leadership program" for children. What does she give to children and parents? What are the visible results?
K. V.: Perhaps, this question is better to ask children and parents. Judging by the feedback and the fact that graduates come to the programs as captains again and again, come to the camp and willingly involve their friends and acquaintances in the programs, there are visible results. Children talk about the fact that after completing the program, it is easier for them to cooperate and find a common language with other people. And parents notice that after completing the training, children take their studies more seriously, become more attentive to themselves. Many people define their life path. Graduates say that thanks to the leadership program, they have learned to act here and now, without delay. And remember that life is always a clean copy.
Photo: Vincent Boiteau