The images of a man - an alpha male and a metrosexual - have lost their relevance. Quite different types came to the fore. Modern life has "corrected" the established types and images of the stronger sex. Now a careerist and a family man easily get along in one man. And not only.
It turns out that the common images of a man - a metrosexual and an alpha male - have lost their relevance. And on the cutting edge came completely different types, by the way, very common among Russians.
These are the results of a large-scale study conducted by sociologists in Europe (including Russia) to understand what modern men are. The stronger sex was characterized by such qualities as attitude towards family, work, hobbies …
What a guy
Photo: AMANITO
It's no secret that women make a lot of demands on men: to be a real man, but gentle; made decisions but obeyed; earned money, but devoted a lot of time to his family … Men either try to match as much as possible (and sooner or later break down), or do not even try - they simply send all women's demands “to ignore”. However, with outward indifference to the opinion of women, they, men, still change. In any case, this process was observed by experts in a special study in 15 countries with the participation of 12,000 men aged 25-39 years. I must say that the respondents had to work: they kept diaries, gave interviews and were tested. The materials received were evaluated by experts in the field of gender issues, economists, sociologists. As a result, four types of men were identified: “Modern and one step ahead”, “egocentrics”, “burdened with obligations” and “zero obligations”.
"Egocentrics"there are also quite a few in Russia - 26 percent, although there are countries where there are more of them: for example, in the Netherlands 43 percent. These are young men for whom the most important thing in life is themselves. And relationships with other people (and even more so with family members) do not interest them until a certain time.
Men of the third category - "Burdened with obligations"- slightly less among Russians, 22 percent of the total (it is interesting that most of them were found in Romania). Representatives of this group see their main mission in being ideal fathers and breadwinners: they create a fortress around their family, the attributes of status are also important for them - a prestigious job, a good home.
Concerning "Zero commitment", then we have the least of them - about 16 percent (although some women believe that this figure could be lower). As the name implies, they do not want to take responsibility and do not intend to strain at all, preferring passive rest, and do not even have a hobby, because it requires additional effort.
Balancing on the edges
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Summarizing the results of the study, sociologists noted the following: men actively respond to changes in the world and are constantly looking for new canons of masculinity. It must be admitted that the weaker sex in this sense is still a poor helper: women give men conflicting signals. On the one hand, they want a little old-fashioned patriarchy, and on the other, they want to combine it with the feminism of our days. Men have to find a balance between traditional and modern communication patterns. “Today young people are looking for quality relationships. If it was important for their fathers and grandfathers that a woman accepts them, then for today's men it is more important that she understands them. This means that they are more likely to have partnerships, says Claire O'Connor, research director at Discovery Networks EMEA. - Men no longer want women to accept their point of view just because they are men. They would like to impress the ladies with their knowledge and skills. More and more men are looking for relationships with aspiring women who are pursuing a career. " Of course, she notes, the new model significantly complicates the life of men - relationships with women become a source of stress: “Just imagine: now a woman can make claims in bed, complain, evaluate, demand. Often this becomes the cause of many complexes and experiences. Men constantly have to compromise, find a common language with their partners. However, for this they get more emotional and sensual sex, more trusting relationships."
Despite the difference in lifestyle and behavior, men of different types hold similar views on relationships with women. Examples are “modern and one step ahead” and “egocentrics”. The latter share the desire of the former for partnerships. Their egoistic attitudes do not mean that they, in principle, do not need a family and children - they just are currently focused on work and their own pleasures, and matrimonial plans are postponed until a later date. In principle, this is a well-known fact: young people are in no hurry to grow up now. Achievement of the main goals of life - buying an apartment or a house, having children - they delay up to forty years. And before that they remain the children of their parents. After spending the day in the boardroom, the researchers note, big bosses often go to spend the night in their parental home. However, they make significant plans for their future parenthood. The respondents often spoke of a desire to participate more actively in the lives of their children than their own fathers did. “I think the role of fathers in France is changing. “New fathers” (like me, for example) share responsibilities with mothers. It's more honest,”says Gregory, 28, France. “For me, being a father means that I will always be with my family when they need me. I am responsible for ensuring a decent standard of living, but not only dictate the rules - I am also a friend to my son,”- Ionescu, 32, Romania. Of course, such fathers are worried about the fact that society does not give them the opportunity to play a more significant role in the child's life. After all, it is not customary for men to give parental leave, this is not a reason for them to end their working day early.
Transition period
Photo: erik ERXON
At first glance at the classification, it is not entirely clear where men are evolving: from "zero" to "burdened with obligations" or in the opposite direction? “Throughout their lives, men can move from one group to another if their worldview changes,” explains Claire O'Connor. “Committed” is married and loves children, and a zero commitment man likes being single. Over the years, it can become "modern and one step ahead" or even "burdened with obligations." It is difficult to imagine the opposite - that "burdened with obligations" suddenly become "egocentric".
In general, it is curious how the opinion accepted in society relates to the inner essence of the stronger sex. If you look at the male images that advertisements and the media replicate, then you want to go to a monastery: this is either a rag or a despot. As Claire O'Connor notes, experts observe an increase in suicide among men across Europe. And not only that: it turns out that men suffer from anorexia and bulimia as well as women - this is noted in Ukraine, Russia, and Romania.
“Most of the problems and difficulties of today's young men are ubiquitous. Most often, they occur at the junction of work and family life. Some of the men, combining professional and career aspirations and high workloads with responsible parenting, have no satisfactory solution anywhere. Different types respond to these challenges in different ways,”commented Igor Kon, chief researcher at the Institute of Ethnology and Anthropology of the Russian Academy of Sciences.
As for Russian men, despite the skepticism accepted among women, they look quite dignified against the background of the rest. There are more “modern and one step ahead” among them than in other countries, and the number of “burdened with obligations” and “egocentrics” is kept within the average indicators. It remains only to work with the number of "zero commitments" - we have two percent more of them than the European average. But let's hope that this is a transitional period for them.
Photo: KellyB.
