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Gender equality has already arrived. And patriarchal stereotypes remained. Gender equality has already arrived. And patriarchal stereotypes remained. And it is they who dictate how to act in order to look like a "real man" or like a "true lady." And it is precisely because of these ancient stereotypes that we sometimes do not know how to behave in a given situation.
The ancient division of labor, which gave rise to, to put it mildly, too different rights of men and women, is becoming a thing of the past. The fair sex wins in offices, arts and sciences. And this is great! But on a date or at home, we are faced with an impenetrable confusion of values, where the philosophy of equality is combined with deeply patriarchal stereotypes. For example, I know a man who has a deep sympathy for feminism and loves to discuss the oppression of women over tea. But only tea is always brought to us by his wife. She is also engaged in washing and preparing meals. “But I don’t know anything about it,” says her husband. Paradox? Nothing like this. It's just that this man watched from childhood how his mother - whether she was deadly tired or with a temperature of 40 - served his father breakfast and dinner. And the idea of a "real woman" was imprinted in his consciousness and unconscious an order of magnitude deeper than the philosophy of equality. That is why today we are often faced with a double set of rules and are lost, not knowing how to behave. Double standards make life difficult not only for women, but also for men.
Women do not always like this:
The boy must be older
If a man is several years younger than his life partner, she often has to be ashamed of it. Disapproving views of others do not allow the woman to forget about this "problem". But tell me, why does he have to be older? This idea is a relic of the past: the older a man was, the more wealthy he was. Times have changed: just look around, and you will see many happy examples of such "wrong" alliances. Only one trouble can spoil everything - when the very similar couple believes that it is "wrong".
Don't you dare earn more
If she gets more than her husband, then it allegedly threatens their happiness. As if this automatically means that she chose the wrong man for herself (named Alphonse). Or she is not sure if her lover will accept an expensive gift that she is able to buy. What if he sees here "humiliation of manhood"? And the patriarchal past is guilty again, dictating that "the girl is danced by the one who eats her." Not the other way around.
Barefoot and in the kitchen
She cooks, serves, washes the dishes and in passing resolves a hundred more everyday issues. And she has no right to ask her beloved: why shouldn't he take part in this? But not every woman likes the role of a housewife. Moreover, men have excellent culinary talents, which he risks not realizing. Maybe we should give him a chance?
Alone, all alone
It is believed that if a woman is lonely, this is a reason to feel sorry for her.
Even if she is self-sufficient, successful and pleased with herself, it is customary to think that she is only skillfully hiding the tragedy of her life. And her career success is just compensation, since she has nothing else to do.
Only this is also a myth from the past. In the end, maybe those around her are just jealous of her freedom and talents?
Men do not always like this:
The girl does not declare her love
More than one generation of girls was brought up on the principle: "A man should take the initiative." It's a woman's business to wait patiently. But it turns out, according to statistics, the overwhelming majority of men would not mind if a woman made it easier for them to do this difficult job. And at the same time would flatter vanity.
Man pays
Who cares for the girl, he pays for her. This ritual does not always please men. Quite often, men expect when, at last, the candy-bouquet period will end, and it will be possible to return to the usual financial situation “every man for himself”.
A man pays in bed too
If something does not work out in bed, it is customary to think that in the morning a man should go to a sex therapist. And for a woman to start looking for a more passionate lover. "He could not satisfy her" sounds much more often than "She could not turn him on." This approach sins against the truth: after all, sex is a joint dance of two participants.
He's a scoundrel, period
If the two broke up on his initiative, popular rumor would claim that the man was a scoundrel. And if they dispersed on her initiative, most likely the man will be guilty again. It turns out, whatever one may say, the verdict will be the same.
You are a man
"You're a man - do something!" Between us, not every man is happy to hear such a phrase. Because it sounds like a call to exploits. Either you urgently need to get into a fight with three boors at the next table, or fix the current tap, or even get an urgent bonus so that you have something to go to Switzerland for a vacation. If you are for equality, it is better to forget this sacramental phrase forever.
It's not okay to be normal
In short, you need to understand one simple thing. We live in a world where no one knows exactly how these mysterious creatures behave: "a real man" and "a real woman." Maybe we don't need to become "real", but just be ourselves? Each of you, in addition to being a man or a woman, is also a man. With your habits, preferences, values, or even your idiot. There is only one thing left - not to obey anyone but yourself. And give up alien stereotypes. When one of you doesn't like something - talk and create your own stereotypes, not listening to the "good" advice of family and friends and how "real" representatives of the same gender behave. This means that it is better to abandon the stereotypes of equality. If you like standing by the stove or giving him expensive gifts, this should not worry anyone in the world.
