Men in numbers, or Russian size

Russians, as you know, love to play poorly. All of us do not live well … Russians, as you know, love to be poor. All of us do not live well, all “yes it is, my little frog is jumping in the little box”, all “do not blame me, help yourself with what God sent.”

It may happen that at the same time God sent a full refrigerator of delicacies, but - we believe ourselves and each other at the word, we sign a race in orphanhood and squalor. And delicacies will come in handy to bite the feeling of your own inferiority.

Only the basic instinct is stronger than national traditions. I have never met a man who would underestimate his erotic performance characteristics (technical and tactical characteristics) and merits on the love front. And thanks for that. Although even here it is not easy to find out the truth - the principle “the more the better” works. However, everyone has their own ideas about beauty, which sometimes have nothing to do with reality.

Male body

Surikov Vasily Ivanovich

Legs, wings … the main thing is the tail

Several years ago, I noticed with considerable amazement that people, when discussing the size of the main male dignity, proceed from very different ideas about what is good and what is bad. Oops, sorry - what is a lot and what is a little. Three almost simultaneous observations gave me the idea of an experiment. But first about the observations.

One man, gifted by nature just as much as necessary, the owner, I'm not afraid of this word, a reference member, as it turned out, quite seriously believes that he lacks a couple of centimeters there, and even worries about this. Another man, remarkable in all other respects, is noticeably deprived in this place, which is completely unaware of. And a familiar young lady, in the midst of girlish gatherings, chatting about indecent things, dropped, as something self-evident, they say, someone there is quite small - eighteen centimeters.

In general, I started a survey. I suggested that a strong half of the readers of my blog watch porn or somehow bring themselves into a lyrical frame of mind, then take a ruler, measure, and tell me the result. The arithmetic mean turned out to be impressive: 17.8. By the way, there were some curiosities: two of my lovers reported the same figure, but I know that they are not just not the same, but are, how to say, in different weight categories!

So, then I took a condom and, pushing cotton balls into it, without using a ruler, made a dummy of a member 17.8 cm long. Well, maybe I was mistaken for a couple of millimeters in one direction or another. Mom, how big it turned out!

The result of the experiment: I, as it turned out, have a very good eye. And men lie.

Peter I

Delaroche, Paul

Between Peter I and Napoleon

All right, a member. After all, he is in trousers, and he is not shown to just anyone, and few can boast of a representative sample sufficient to judge the average values. But growth, growth!

How, why, where in the young ladies' ideas about the hero of their dreams and the prince on a white horse - sorry, "Mercedes" - complete with sweets, bouquets and other attributes of a beautiful life, does "height - from 190" come from?

Napoleon I Bonaparte

Elizaveta Merkurievna Boehm

They, in general, understand that a gentleman, from such a height, is compelled to bend down absurdly under every lintel, that his trousers are chronically short, he is uncomfortable squeezing his knees into a car and an airplane, and in a fight he will lose to a stocky strong man, because he is unstable?

(Dear tall men, please do not be offended: my height is 181 cm, and I know from myself how uncomfortable it is).

If this harmony is to be believed in algebra, I suspect it will again become clear that when they say "from 190", girls actually mean something in the range of 180-185.

Matryoshka dolls in a London store.

A lot - not a little

There is also good news: mass psychosis regarding general harmony and the erection of an emaciated body with anorexia to the rank of an ideal of beauty have not yet reached men.

On this score, I also have statistics, again obtained as a result of a poll on the blog. Ladies still prefer corpulent gentlemen. Firstly, a man of ideal proportions in their view should be more massive and wider than a woman of ideal proportions. Secondly, a ten-kilogram "overweight" in comparison with this ideal is dearer to twice as many ladies than a ten-kilogram "underweight". Cavaliers, before you go on a diet, think about whether you and your women need it?

A close friend of mine, a handsome man and a favorite of women, with a height of 181, weighed either 92 or 94 kilograms, and suddenly decided that this was too much and that he needed to lose weight. And he lost weight - right up to 79. And the women (all of them, including myself) unanimously, with the exception, perhaps, of those who kept silent out of delicacy and respect for the manifested triumph of will, were upset. It was, they say, much better.

Lyrical digression. Feminists, take your time to resent inequality and double standards. Much to my delight, men, talking about female proportions, also chose the "advantage"! - albeit with a minimal, only two votes, gap. True, the point here may not be at all in an addiction to Rubens' proportions, but in the fact that the idea of the ideal of a female figure lies somewhere on the lower border of the physiological norm, there is nowhere to subtract, then dystrophy begins. So there really is a double standard. But I'm not a feminist, so I won't be indignant. I'd rather be glad that at least men are still not indecent to be big and fat. The end of the lyrical digression.

Viktor Mikhailovich Vasnetsov 1878

Is it better to be rich and healthy than poor and sick?

Even wealth is good in moderation. Look in the pockets of the best lovers and you will find a couple of holes. The explanation is simple. A man is good in bed when he knows how to appreciate the fleetingness of the moment, completely and completely surrender to the present, enjoy the originality of the here-and-now. And this is poorly compatible with worries about a secure future and other reliability, including, alas, with the creation of a stable and confident family in the future.

However, the family can be damaged not only by the lack of money, but also by the excess. Successful business people are married to their own business - they work too hard and too exhausting to be good husbands and fathers. And it's scary to be too rich with our crime rate.

Well, let alone the sublimation of unrealized sexuality, about a fat wallet as a surrogate for a fat penis, and about the fact that first of all those to whom women, excuse me, do not give much (or those who are afraid that they will not give) rush to "cut the money", in our enlightened age, only the lazy did not hear, so there is no need to repeat it again.

***

In short, in the question of the transition from quantity to quality, the old man Hegel was not entirely right: it is not the number that is important, but the skill.

Both in bed and in life. And even on the road: the owner of a nimble compact car will most likely leave behind the SUV driver who considers himself very cool: traffic jams, you know …